The Past

Been spending almost a week with my love during this Fall Break.. Always a wonderful time :)
For the first time I showed him couple of pictures from my past (ex-bfs) and we also always talk about our past experiences. Which really really makes me feel grateful about my present.

My love is very very sweet he drove all the way to Dallas to pick me up to Austin. Oh how I love him so much.

Anyways, it is so odd that just today I randomly stalked one of my past, just because I was bored. This is one of the guys that I was involved with, the very rude guy that supposedly have a vacation with me in Vietnam, the Aussie guy. I just found out today that he was dead in July?!?! Man I was so so shocked. And it was not even a natural dead, you know. It is pretty scary. I don't really want to write the details cos it already makes me feel bad at the moment. Even though I always remember him as an asshole, but now I really feel bad for him and his family.

Meanwhile I was just stalking other past of mine and some of them look so happy. Which is good. I don't feel "not happy", you know. I'm glad they are not with me now and they're happy.

This moment with my bae is also very special cos for the very first time also we declared our relationship. That is really really sweet. Although we of course don't know what the future holds, remembering our relationship is pretty complicated (I will need to go back to Indo, etc). We were talking yesterday about our current relationship with our exes. Basically both of us don't really talk or keep in touch with our ex'es. Then I asked him, do you think we would still be friends if this thing didn't work? He said, well, looking at our experiences, probably not. That really makes me kinda sad, although it can be true. Why would I still be contacting him if this thing didn't work? If any, I would have a really hard time moving on from him, so it might be best not to keep in touch at all.
Although I told him, "if you didn't hurt me, then I would want to be friends".

It is pretty funny too that we are so much in love and in really good terms right now, yet we are talking about the possibility to break up and not being friends. LOL.

Oh man, I don't know what else to say. All I want to think now is how happy I am and how grateful I am right now...