It is not something new to know that the education in the U.S is considered really good compare to most other countries, but to know also the cost of the tuition, sometimes I can hardly understand. It is very very very expensive! Even for a public school. Somehow I feel so blessed that I went to undergraduate school in Indonesia, and in a public school like ITB cos I think it was very cheap. Well I don't know for now though.
I was talking with one of my classmates one day about the printer in school. Lately there had been an announcement email to tell us to be more considerate in using the printer cos it is not cheap (like the inks, papers, etc). So when we talked about that, she (my classmate) told me that our tuition fee is expensive, so why they even bother tells us something so small compare to the tuition fee. Well basically I got scholarship, so I can't complain. But then it triggered me to ask her, if she pays for her school by herself. Cos basically for me, a master program especially in engineering and science should be free. Cos not everybody can do that, or motivated enough to do that.
Long story short, she told me that she didn't get scholarship (she applied to one of the research groups at Mines but did not get accepted), but she was lucky enough that her parents are willing to pay for everything. Even more shocking, she did undergrad twice! So she graduated from Math, didn't like the job for Math graduate and then did another undergrad in Geophysics. Annddd now she is taking master in Geophysics. Can you imagine how much money her parents had spent for her? Wow!
Anyywaay so she was also telling me that it is different case for her boyfriend. He basically took a student loan for paying his undergrad and grad study. He ended up owing the bank about $90K and now that he has graduated, he has to pay around $1000/month for 15 years!!! Crazy, eh? It is almost like paying for mortgage. Tsk tsk. I think that's unbelievable, especially if someone is smart enough, why would they need to pay that amount of money for education?
Anyway again, he is lucky enough that he got hired by an oil company. So at least he would get enough income to pay for that. Well, considering he won't get laid off during this oil price crisis.
But this "student loan" thingy is very common in here. Many people have to do that to be able to get better education and end up having to pay for the loan for the rest of their lives. I remember one time my other classmate was telling me that he once worked as a janitor in some building just to pay for his school. He was even shocked that I was shocked. He asked me, "Sheila, have you not ever had to work to pay for your undergrad school?" Err... no? I kinda feel bad when I realized that I was luckier than most people, I guess.
So I started to think, well, I know also that my tuition is not cheap. Every semester I got my tuition paid by my research group and it is around $18K/semester. It is also that expensive because I am considered as "out-of-state" student. If I were "in-state" student, I would be paying around half of it, I think. And I could get that status if I have Colorado residency. So, that tuition times 4, cos I will be here for 4 semesters, it is around $72K. Although I think on my 4th semester I would be eligible for reduced tuition because by that time I would only need to take research credits, no classes. Well consider it around $60K then. Could be more, actually. And then I get stipend for around $1200/month for 2 years (minus summer time) so it is about 18 months time $1200, it is around $22K. Basically the research group ends up spending money for me almost $100K! Can you imagine if I had to take student loan for that? Wow.
Anyway again, I was thinking about it also because one of my colleague at work was telling me that he wanted to go back to school also but he was worried that he would get pushed to resign and not getting any compensation (retirement plan kind of thing). Cos basically the rumor now is that when I finished school ( I am taking Leave Without Pay now), and go back to Indo, the company I am working at won't welcome me, nor they will fire me and give me compensation. Basically they will just making me high and dry for as long as it can be and I file for resign by myself.
Well I don't know about that colleague of mine, but for me, a $100K of education plus experience and a degree, worth getting fired (without compensation) from the company I'm working at now.
Sunday, April 10, 2016
Friday, April 1, 2016
Lesson
Living in the U.S has taught me a lot of things, beside of course to be a better geophysicist. LOL.
I learned how to cook, how to clean (the house, my bedroom, my clothes, dishes, etc etc), how to really watch my finance, and basically take care of most things by myself. And it hasn't even been a year now. To think about it now, eventhough I really miss getting a secured finance, I do really really really (did I say really already?) feel grateful for getting this opportunity.
Today I have just successfully made "sambel". LOL. It is because an Indo lady was selling it for $5 (I honestly don't know how much would it be), but I think it is too expensive! Well of course if she would have sold it cheaper, then how come she would make a profit? Hahaha..
Oh well, anyway, this morning I run into Asian Mart to buy Thai chili (the closest one to Indo's cabe) and shallots. I used blender to mix all of it, added a lil bit of tomatoes (stealing my landlord's), a little bit of anchovy and added salt, sugar, MSG (don't judge me!) and fry all of it. Yummy!!! It was very spicy though!! LOL.
But I'm so so so frickin proud of myself. If I was in Indo, there's no frickin way I would make it my own. But maybe I would, next time I live in Indo. Maybe. Will see if everything I have learned here would still be done by me in Indo or not. LOL.
Anyways again, I was also thinking, as what I have written on this blog also, about the story of me applying for school in the U.S, I almost bailed. I almost bailed until my friend told me to APPLY IT NOW OR NEVER! And I did.
I was thinking, man, it is still quite unbelievable. I know it has been almost a year now, but it is still something I can't really believe. Had I not applied, I would not have come here, would not have stayed in this house, would not have known my landlord, would not have known her son, which is my current BF :)
Oh well maybe you would think, "well isn't life like that? You choose one path and you might have chosen different path, it leads you into something else, different. Maybe if you hadn't come the U.S, you would still have met someone else in Jakarta, for example."
True. But I'm really really happy at the moment. And I don't think I have been this happy for the last couple of years. And for that, I thank the path I have chosen :)
I have no clue whatever will happen in the future, like all of us do, but I'm just.. truthfully, grateful for the place I am standing right now.
I learned how to cook, how to clean (the house, my bedroom, my clothes, dishes, etc etc), how to really watch my finance, and basically take care of most things by myself. And it hasn't even been a year now. To think about it now, eventhough I really miss getting a secured finance, I do really really really (did I say really already?) feel grateful for getting this opportunity.
Today I have just successfully made "sambel". LOL. It is because an Indo lady was selling it for $5 (I honestly don't know how much would it be), but I think it is too expensive! Well of course if she would have sold it cheaper, then how come she would make a profit? Hahaha..
Oh well, anyway, this morning I run into Asian Mart to buy Thai chili (the closest one to Indo's cabe) and shallots. I used blender to mix all of it, added a lil bit of tomatoes (stealing my landlord's), a little bit of anchovy and added salt, sugar, MSG (don't judge me!) and fry all of it. Yummy!!! It was very spicy though!! LOL.
But I'm so so so frickin proud of myself. If I was in Indo, there's no frickin way I would make it my own. But maybe I would, next time I live in Indo. Maybe. Will see if everything I have learned here would still be done by me in Indo or not. LOL.
Anyways again, I was also thinking, as what I have written on this blog also, about the story of me applying for school in the U.S, I almost bailed. I almost bailed until my friend told me to APPLY IT NOW OR NEVER! And I did.
I was thinking, man, it is still quite unbelievable. I know it has been almost a year now, but it is still something I can't really believe. Had I not applied, I would not have come here, would not have stayed in this house, would not have known my landlord, would not have known her son, which is my current BF :)
Oh well maybe you would think, "well isn't life like that? You choose one path and you might have chosen different path, it leads you into something else, different. Maybe if you hadn't come the U.S, you would still have met someone else in Jakarta, for example."
True. But I'm really really happy at the moment. And I don't think I have been this happy for the last couple of years. And for that, I thank the path I have chosen :)
I have no clue whatever will happen in the future, like all of us do, but I'm just.. truthfully, grateful for the place I am standing right now.
Wednesday, March 23, 2016
The new guy I love :)
Yes, love. Now I'm using that word. Pretty new for me to use it, and based on my past experience, that brought a lot of insecurities. I used to be so afraid to express it, no matter how deep my feeling was for someone.
But now he makes me feel different. Feel genuinely loved.
And just so full of affection that when we were together, I'd feel bad for other people. Hahaha...
You know when you saw love birds doing cheesy things on public, and you be like "ew.. get a room, people!"
Well now I think people would think about us that way x)))
I know for sure that "too much" is not good, but I really don't care that much for now. What will happen will happen.
And I'm happy..
And I'm in love.
One thing that is also very very new to me is, I know his family so damn well. I literally live with his mom. LOL. And exchange emails with his dad every now and then. And at this very moment playing cards with his mom and sister. How amazing can that be? And they don't even know I'm with him. It's not because they will not like it, actually, they would love it. I was just afraid it wouldn't work and somehow make things awkward.
But it has been about 3 months now. I had a lot of doubts before. I still have some now. But I am one step closer to really look pass his flaws, and see lots of things I really love..
But now he makes me feel different. Feel genuinely loved.
And just so full of affection that when we were together, I'd feel bad for other people. Hahaha...
You know when you saw love birds doing cheesy things on public, and you be like "ew.. get a room, people!"
Well now I think people would think about us that way x)))
I know for sure that "too much" is not good, but I really don't care that much for now. What will happen will happen.
And I'm happy..
And I'm in love.
 |
| That sweetest night |
One thing that is also very very new to me is, I know his family so damn well. I literally live with his mom. LOL. And exchange emails with his dad every now and then. And at this very moment playing cards with his mom and sister. How amazing can that be? And they don't even know I'm with him. It's not because they will not like it, actually, they would love it. I was just afraid it wouldn't work and somehow make things awkward.
But it has been about 3 months now. I had a lot of doubts before. I still have some now. But I am one step closer to really look pass his flaws, and see lots of things I really love..
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Adventures
I was just looking at a post my sister-in-law posted on FB now. She and my brother with their baby on the way (she is pregnant now :) )
then I started to think, how different our lives are.
I'm not saying one is better than another, and to be noted, nothing I'm jealous of, neither him to me. Plus he is a guy, if he was a she, then I'd probably have some jealousy every now and then. LOL.
I'm just observing how our life was always taking quite a different path since before. He was always the "secured" type of person. Going to university close to our hometown. Always be in a serious relationship, I don't think he liked to play around. Or maybe I don't know. Haha.. Well now he is happily married with a woman from a really nice family. Religious, well lived, loving family, etc. A perfect picture to be family of someone you want to introduce to your own family, I'd say.
While me, I was always wandering around. Always try to escape. I chose Bandung to go after graduated from high school. I want to experience something new. I want to travel the world (well I think everybody kinda want this, too. I was just lucky enough to "sometimes" got the chances). I want to know more and more people. I experienced a lot of broken hearts, but I guess that's OK. Not really OK, but hey, I'm survived! :)
And now I'm here, 15.000 KMs from home, 14 hours difference in timezone. Haven't really found someone "adequate" to introduce to my family, I guess. LOL. Parents keep on asking bout "this guy" but I don't think I'll have the guts to.
I think I live the life following the motto "now or never", "you only live once", "you'll regret more of something you didn't do than something you did". And I'm not sure if this is what I have always wanted to, hence unconsciously I'm leading my way into this path, or it is just always what God has planned for me. Maybe a little bit of both.
What if somehow my life was a different story? Something a little bit more like my brother's. Would I be happy? Would I crave for my current type of life? Probably. I guess my mind is just sometimes "crazying" around thinking bout something I might ended up doing/being.
then I started to think, how different our lives are.
I'm not saying one is better than another, and to be noted, nothing I'm jealous of, neither him to me. Plus he is a guy, if he was a she, then I'd probably have some jealousy every now and then. LOL.
I'm just observing how our life was always taking quite a different path since before. He was always the "secured" type of person. Going to university close to our hometown. Always be in a serious relationship, I don't think he liked to play around. Or maybe I don't know. Haha.. Well now he is happily married with a woman from a really nice family. Religious, well lived, loving family, etc. A perfect picture to be family of someone you want to introduce to your own family, I'd say.
While me, I was always wandering around. Always try to escape. I chose Bandung to go after graduated from high school. I want to experience something new. I want to travel the world (well I think everybody kinda want this, too. I was just lucky enough to "sometimes" got the chances). I want to know more and more people. I experienced a lot of broken hearts, but I guess that's OK. Not really OK, but hey, I'm survived! :)
And now I'm here, 15.000 KMs from home, 14 hours difference in timezone. Haven't really found someone "adequate" to introduce to my family, I guess. LOL. Parents keep on asking bout "this guy" but I don't think I'll have the guts to.
I think I live the life following the motto "now or never", "you only live once", "you'll regret more of something you didn't do than something you did". And I'm not sure if this is what I have always wanted to, hence unconsciously I'm leading my way into this path, or it is just always what God has planned for me. Maybe a little bit of both.
What if somehow my life was a different story? Something a little bit more like my brother's. Would I be happy? Would I crave for my current type of life? Probably. I guess my mind is just sometimes "crazying" around thinking bout something I might ended up doing/being.
Tuesday, February 9, 2016
I hope
God is not mad at me as I frequently whine about something.
And the more I think about it sometimes, the more I realized that I have become ungrateful human being.
I remember back in late 2010 I was somehow quite depressed looking for job. I was a little bit cocky before I graduated because a lot of companies interview me, and I was interning in my current company. So I was like, "omg.. which one to choose? so confused" lol
Until I got the point when those companies stopped chasing me. I was like, OMG am I gonna get a job at all? If I got hired, I swear I would work my ass off, etc..etc
And then what? I got back to be lazyyy most times. Hahaha..
Later after that I was soooo hoping I'll go to school to pursue master degree abroad, especially in the U.S and especially in this school I'm attending now. So basically, if u asked me, what was my biggest dream? Well it is now. And I got it eventually. I was so damn grateful. And now? I'm whining cos I'm sick of studying! LOL. Sometimes I think wouldn't it be nice just to chilling by the beach, drinking with your friends, just like what I did before I got here. Can you believe how ungrateful I am now? Hahahaha...
Oh well, I guess I'll just need to constantly remind myself. Sheila, this was your dream. It came true, but it is not over yet. Keep on working!
Amen!
And the more I think about it sometimes, the more I realized that I have become ungrateful human being.
I remember back in late 2010 I was somehow quite depressed looking for job. I was a little bit cocky before I graduated because a lot of companies interview me, and I was interning in my current company. So I was like, "omg.. which one to choose? so confused" lol
Until I got the point when those companies stopped chasing me. I was like, OMG am I gonna get a job at all? If I got hired, I swear I would work my ass off, etc..etc
And then what? I got back to be lazyyy most times. Hahaha..
Later after that I was soooo hoping I'll go to school to pursue master degree abroad, especially in the U.S and especially in this school I'm attending now. So basically, if u asked me, what was my biggest dream? Well it is now. And I got it eventually. I was so damn grateful. And now? I'm whining cos I'm sick of studying! LOL. Sometimes I think wouldn't it be nice just to chilling by the beach, drinking with your friends, just like what I did before I got here. Can you believe how ungrateful I am now? Hahahaha...
Oh well, I guess I'll just need to constantly remind myself. Sheila, this was your dream. It came true, but it is not over yet. Keep on working!
Amen!
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Not homesick... but
you know how I said in the previous post that I started to love this place and no longer feel homesick? That's true, until I started my semester. LOL.
Basically I'm back to the stressful mode. Probably not as crazy as last semester, cause this semester I have Thursday Friday off, which is great, but then it means I really need to start working on my research. Well basically I got scholarship for working on my research, so no question, I HAVE to do it.
I have the topic already, but I am just not sure how difficult it would be. I really really hope it won't have anything to do with programming, cos I just can't!
But anyway, as stressed as I am, one thing that really has changed is that I am still not homesick. Even the truth is, I'm sad thinking I'll have to go back to Indo. I know now that sounds so snob! Hahaha.. but that's true, man. One of the reasons is probably cos I have had cemceman in here, though it's not serious. But then I also just frickin love this place! No pembantu, but everything is basically available and somehow I feel more more independent here, and more self diciplined, somehow. I don't think that's a correct English, but whatever.
I even think that maybe (maybe) if I nailed my master thesis, then I could continue to PhD just so I could extend my stay? LOL. Oh well, one can only hope. But again even only master I am already stressed, can imagine how it's gonna be for PhD!
One thing kinda disappoint me recently is that the company I'm working on won't lay me off with the "package" of money. Dang it. I already expected it. I was thinking I would go partying everytime with that money. LOL. Kidding of course. But that money will really help. Oh well maybe eventually I'll need to go back to Indo and continue my work? I dunno. I really want to stay here though. *cry*
Annyywaaayyy...
Just quick update from me.
Til next story!
Basically I'm back to the stressful mode. Probably not as crazy as last semester, cause this semester I have Thursday Friday off, which is great, but then it means I really need to start working on my research. Well basically I got scholarship for working on my research, so no question, I HAVE to do it.
I have the topic already, but I am just not sure how difficult it would be. I really really hope it won't have anything to do with programming, cos I just can't!
But anyway, as stressed as I am, one thing that really has changed is that I am still not homesick. Even the truth is, I'm sad thinking I'll have to go back to Indo. I know now that sounds so snob! Hahaha.. but that's true, man. One of the reasons is probably cos I have had cemceman in here, though it's not serious. But then I also just frickin love this place! No pembantu, but everything is basically available and somehow I feel more more independent here, and more self diciplined, somehow. I don't think that's a correct English, but whatever.
I even think that maybe (maybe) if I nailed my master thesis, then I could continue to PhD just so I could extend my stay? LOL. Oh well, one can only hope. But again even only master I am already stressed, can imagine how it's gonna be for PhD!
One thing kinda disappoint me recently is that the company I'm working on won't lay me off with the "package" of money. Dang it. I already expected it. I was thinking I would go partying everytime with that money. LOL. Kidding of course. But that money will really help. Oh well maybe eventually I'll need to go back to Indo and continue my work? I dunno. I really want to stay here though. *cry*
Annyywaaayyy...
Just quick update from me.
Til next story!
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Homesick Mood : Zero
I don't know whether it is because I'm on holiday, free of stresses, or what, but at the moment I'm not homesick at all.
In fact, I'm thinking how awesome it is living in here now. Well I hope this feeling will last for quite long time. Hahaha...
I think this is just basically one phase that I would get thru. I'm quite adjusted by now. Not feeling lonely anymore. Plus, again, I'm on holiday, so I don't feel all the stresses of homework etc.
During this holiday, also, I get to see more of this place. I mean, afterall, this is a holiday destination place.
I know at first I was soooo longing of Indo's food. I was dying thinking of how many food I miss. But now, I cook sometimes. And I got friends who usually supply me with some Indo's food. Like sambel, or other stuffs. I think I feel contented by now.
There's a friend of mine who is taking a master program dual uni. Meaning, last semester he spent in the same school as mine in here and now he is in France to spend one semester. The following semester he will be back in the US again. Hahaha! How confusing!
He just texted me how he felt like he wanna cry because some things, like no internet at the moment, plus he just arrived so he didn't have friends yet. Oh well, talking bout adjustment! Can't imagine if I'm in that situation. It will feel like never ending homesick, huh.
But again, I think he will get more advantages eventually. Like u always hear the saying, "what doesn't kill u make u stronger". So after he dealt with all of those struggles, he will feel more achieved in the end. I'm pretty sure of that. And afterall, he gets to see more of the world! Well for me, I think I'd be happy enough to spend all the years in one place. Adequate! LOL.
In fact, I'm thinking how awesome it is living in here now. Well I hope this feeling will last for quite long time. Hahaha...
I think this is just basically one phase that I would get thru. I'm quite adjusted by now. Not feeling lonely anymore. Plus, again, I'm on holiday, so I don't feel all the stresses of homework etc.
During this holiday, also, I get to see more of this place. I mean, afterall, this is a holiday destination place.
I know at first I was soooo longing of Indo's food. I was dying thinking of how many food I miss. But now, I cook sometimes. And I got friends who usually supply me with some Indo's food. Like sambel, or other stuffs. I think I feel contented by now.
There's a friend of mine who is taking a master program dual uni. Meaning, last semester he spent in the same school as mine in here and now he is in France to spend one semester. The following semester he will be back in the US again. Hahaha! How confusing!
He just texted me how he felt like he wanna cry because some things, like no internet at the moment, plus he just arrived so he didn't have friends yet. Oh well, talking bout adjustment! Can't imagine if I'm in that situation. It will feel like never ending homesick, huh.
But again, I think he will get more advantages eventually. Like u always hear the saying, "what doesn't kill u make u stronger". So after he dealt with all of those struggles, he will feel more achieved in the end. I'm pretty sure of that. And afterall, he gets to see more of the world! Well for me, I think I'd be happy enough to spend all the years in one place. Adequate! LOL.
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