bout my life *jaelaah*
So now I have returned to the US again, luckily seeing my bf first, not directly to Golden. So it is pretty exciting and makes me happy rather than going straight to Golden. To be honest, this year is really really different compared to last year when I just got to the US. Last year I was soooo full of excitement and motivation, but now? I am just sooo unmotivated to go back. Going back to Indonesia has reminded me of how pleasant it is to live in Indonesia, how easy to get the food I love the most, how cheap it is to get massage, manicure pedicure, waxing treatment, somebody to clean up your house/apartment, and so on. But I guess that is just human nature. I saw a friend of mine on Facebook, he grew up in the US, worked several years in Indonesia and now has just recently returned to the US, seemingly so happy to be in the US and eating burgers. Meanwhile me seeing that, thinking, "waa..?" LOL.
Everybody just love their own home countries, of course. But anyywaayy, I still have my obligation to finish my school, cause if not, what's the point of all the struggles?
Other than that, I was so glad meeting my friends back in Indonesia. Some of them were really sweet ones, insisting on meeting up or even having short trip together, oh how I missed them and still do.
One thing I don't miss and makes me slightly glad not being there in Indonesia (especially Jakarta) is the crazy traffic, of course. It just made me going nuts everytime! Oh and the crimes. You can't just leave your belongings unattended, which was crazy for me after staying in the US for sometime now. I forgot my wallet a lot of time here in the US, never really lost it! People always happened to keep it for me. In Jakarta? Don't even try to think about it. I even lost my apartment access card which happened to be outside my door. It's like, seriously? Why would someone steal it? Yet they did!
Now thinking about going back to school is just irritating for me. I don't really have anyone there that I miss, at all, nope. Even looking at their Facebook updates just annoys me a lot! LOL. How bad is that?
Oh but well, now I get to see my bf for a lil bit less than 2 weeks, which I'm grateful about. I just love that guy more and more everyday :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Monday, July 11, 2016
It is so much easier to complain than being grateful
Sometimes we realized that.
Hence people sometimes love hearing sad stories about other people (though not admitting it), because it helps us being more grateful. Don't you think? When others were faced with difficulties in their lives, we often curious, want to know why, sometimes also feel bad, it's just human nature, but then we think "wow I'm so damn lucky compared to them".
On the other hand, when others are experiencing bunch of lucks in their lives, always seem so happy, sometimes even look too lucky that they don't struggle at all in their life, we feel jealous, wishing we were in their shoes, thinking, "why can't I be as lucky as them?" "why do I have to work this hard while they don't?"
We all know we have to be grateful, always. It's just hard, and it can't be denied. But one thing that I have to remember is that, there's always rainbow after the rain, we can always get what we want (or close to) as long as we work hard enough, and you don't know the things every other people are struggling with.
Hence people sometimes love hearing sad stories about other people (though not admitting it), because it helps us being more grateful. Don't you think? When others were faced with difficulties in their lives, we often curious, want to know why, sometimes also feel bad, it's just human nature, but then we think "wow I'm so damn lucky compared to them".
On the other hand, when others are experiencing bunch of lucks in their lives, always seem so happy, sometimes even look too lucky that they don't struggle at all in their life, we feel jealous, wishing we were in their shoes, thinking, "why can't I be as lucky as them?" "why do I have to work this hard while they don't?"
We all know we have to be grateful, always. It's just hard, and it can't be denied. But one thing that I have to remember is that, there's always rainbow after the rain, we can always get what we want (or close to) as long as we work hard enough, and you don't know the things every other people are struggling with.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
5 weeks!
So I survived living with my bf for 5 weeks! It's a huge accomplishment I think. LOL. I've never seen anyone that often in my life (the one I'm dating, of course) and put up with a lot of things. Although frankly speaking, he is easy to be with. Very considerate, patient, loving, etc. Maybe the downside is sometimes he's messy, will put everything all over the places, and couple of other things, not a big thing. Moreover he would listen to my concerns and tried to compromise most of the times. One thing also (and I think I have mentioned a lot of times before) is that he is a "healthy-lifestyle" freak!
Not only that he is a vegetarian (it is already killing me), but he is also gluten intolerant (which makes me always think a lot before cooking something), peanut intolerant, onion hater (who would hate onion, seriously? And it includes green onions and shallots too! OMG! he only likes garlic). He would judge every unhealthy things I've been doing (from my toiletries which are not organic, duh, of course! until the way I use a lot of oils on my cooking, etc, etc). Last time he banned me from eating Cheetos (he really took it away from me and said he is giving it to the homeless people). He doesn't like me using microwave, either. Everytime we did grocery shopping, it always ended up being so expensive because we had to buy the organic things. Zz... and it's not even like we have a lot of money to begin with.
Man this guy is really hard to please! LOL. But sometimes I think he's right. It would be good for me to live a little bit more healthy.
Actually one thing I realize in dating life, I always learn something new from the guys I've been with. For this one, I learn a lot of healthy life style, good classic movies (oh did I mention he makes independent movies? Yea he is a movie freak also, but hate Hollywood ones, man -.-" ) and good rock bands. He kinda taught me a bit of cooking and baking too, or maybe motivates me, cause not all of the stuffs he cooked I like, obviously, cause it's too freaking healthy to eat. One time he bought cactus and I was like, "can you even eat cactus??"
him: "yea it's healthy!"
and he cooked that gooey cactus (ew!) with eggs which I didn't want to eat that at all! And now has been almost a week, that cactus dish still exists in the fridge, hmm.. see? I was right! That doesn't taste any good, ugh. What a stubborn guy I'm living with.
So now it is 3 days more until I'm leaving for Indonesia, I'm excited and kinda sad at the same time.. Well, at least I'm going to have a chance to eat very unhealthy food very soon!!! :D
Not only that he is a vegetarian (it is already killing me), but he is also gluten intolerant (which makes me always think a lot before cooking something), peanut intolerant, onion hater (who would hate onion, seriously? And it includes green onions and shallots too! OMG! he only likes garlic). He would judge every unhealthy things I've been doing (from my toiletries which are not organic, duh, of course! until the way I use a lot of oils on my cooking, etc, etc). Last time he banned me from eating Cheetos (he really took it away from me and said he is giving it to the homeless people). He doesn't like me using microwave, either. Everytime we did grocery shopping, it always ended up being so expensive because we had to buy the organic things. Zz... and it's not even like we have a lot of money to begin with.
Man this guy is really hard to please! LOL. But sometimes I think he's right. It would be good for me to live a little bit more healthy.
Actually one thing I realize in dating life, I always learn something new from the guys I've been with. For this one, I learn a lot of healthy life style, good classic movies (oh did I mention he makes independent movies? Yea he is a movie freak also, but hate Hollywood ones, man -.-" ) and good rock bands. He kinda taught me a bit of cooking and baking too, or maybe motivates me, cause not all of the stuffs he cooked I like, obviously, cause it's too freaking healthy to eat. One time he bought cactus and I was like, "can you even eat cactus??"
him: "yea it's healthy!"
and he cooked that gooey cactus (ew!) with eggs which I didn't want to eat that at all! And now has been almost a week, that cactus dish still exists in the fridge, hmm.. see? I was right! That doesn't taste any good, ugh. What a stubborn guy I'm living with.
So now it is 3 days more until I'm leaving for Indonesia, I'm excited and kinda sad at the same time.. Well, at least I'm going to have a chance to eat very unhealthy food very soon!!! :D
Monday, June 6, 2016
Rinduuuuu Masakan Indo :'(
OK so as much as I love my bf and how I feel when I'm around him (best loving person I've ever been with), I frickin struggled with my diet here! E is a vegetarian since about 8 years ago and I told him I hate him being vegetarian. He said it is a philosophical reason (not wanting to kill animal, blabla.. which I think is bit nonsense cos hell it is a food chain!). So here I am for almost 2 weeks already, eating veggies crap everyday -__- well he is still sweet enough that he bought me steak one time, and he's actually totally OK with me eating meat. But it still bothers me a lot since I loveeeee food, good food, and I feel like I can't enjoy it with him. All he cares about is HEALTHY food instead of good food.
I dated someone who couldn't eat pork one time and it already tortured me, hell now is a lot of worse than that.
Anyway, I've been missing Indo food like crazy now so maybe I'll just think about what I want to eat when I come back to Indo. All of those bragging posts about food on my social media, *smirk*, I'll get it eventually, bitches!
- Bakmi gang mangga
- Bakmi GM (bahkan bakmi GM pun kangen, lol)
- Pempek
- Kambing abah
- Nasi kuning
- Bubur ayam
- Chinese food anywhere in Malang
- Nasi babi guling di Bali
- Bebek goreng
- Ayam penyet
- Bakwan/baso goreng di Malang
- Seafood
- Rawon
- Soto
- Nasi pecel
- Pastel
- Tahu goreng yang enak
- dannnnn seterusnyaaaa
I dated someone who couldn't eat pork one time and it already tortured me, hell now is a lot of worse than that.
Anyway, I've been missing Indo food like crazy now so maybe I'll just think about what I want to eat when I come back to Indo. All of those bragging posts about food on my social media, *smirk*, I'll get it eventually, bitches!
- Bakmi gang mangga
- Bakmi GM (bahkan bakmi GM pun kangen, lol)
- Pempek
- Kambing abah
- Nasi kuning
- Bubur ayam
- Chinese food anywhere in Malang
- Nasi babi guling di Bali
- Bebek goreng
- Ayam penyet
- Bakwan/baso goreng di Malang
- Seafood
- Rawon
- Soto
- Nasi pecel
- Pastel
- Tahu goreng yang enak
- dannnnn seterusnyaaaa
Thursday, May 26, 2016
Closure
OK so a month relationship has over with J. I thought there would be no ceremonial goodbye or whatsoever, tried not to have a big expectation. But turned out he asked for last night out with him. We went to the cinema just like our second date. And then I realized, this boy is really really not romantic! LOL. It is not a huge deal, but yea I think he is really a typical scientist/engineer guys. Well although I would consider myself quite romantic and sweet as a scientist myself! Anyway, the end of that night we said goodbye to each other. Obviously there would be no "we could try to work this out and see what happens" like other long distance relationships in the past. And he is so young. I consider it risky to date a guy in their early 20s. Still so much to do, so much curiosity and stuffs. It'd be better if they experience all first and then later decide to settle down.
So yea that was that. Afterall I was glad there was a closure. Which is very very rare to happen to me. Usually the end of any relationships would be so bitter, sour, whatever you express it as. But this was different, cause we anticipated it from the start. No promises. And, I have someone else. We are now together again and it reminds me of how well I have been treated by him. He is not perfect, but I found myself always happy close to him :)
So yea that was that. Afterall I was glad there was a closure. Which is very very rare to happen to me. Usually the end of any relationships would be so bitter, sour, whatever you express it as. But this was different, cause we anticipated it from the start. No promises. And, I have someone else. We are now together again and it reminds me of how well I have been treated by him. He is not perfect, but I found myself always happy close to him :)
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
Multi-tasker
So technically at the moment I have two boyfriends. Although one of it was intended to last only until end of this month. Since I'm gonna leave for Austin, he is also gonna leave for Tulsa, to start his new job. I'm happy for him that he got a job right away after grad school, which is very rare in a situation like at the moment. After all he is a smart kid, one of the reasons I like him :)
The longer I spend time with him also I realized that he is so so cute and the best quality is that he is probably the second cleanest guy I've ever been with. A nice smell guy is the best, at least for me. So who is the first cleanest guy? LOL probably my weirdo ex (the old guy). But J (let's call the Colorado bf as J) is very close to that standard. Other than that quality, I like that he is a planner. He never suddenly bailed from any of our plans, and always told me in advance what is going to happen. Like for example, one thing that I less like about him that he is a gamer. This is pretty new for me, or maybe I haven't dated enough guys to get a sample like that? LOL. But yea, he will always tell me if he is going to spend time playing video games with his friends, letting me know that I will not like it, hence I may not want to come and watch him play and ignoring me. That is somehow pretty sweet. I like how he told me in advance for most things. He even actually told me that our "thing" will not work since he is moving soon. So I am trying to manage my expectation since beginning. And I should, but the reality is, it is hard! Haha.. Especially after we hung out several times, he invited me to hang out with his friends, etc.
Oh one thing that is pretty cute about him is that he (again) told me in advance that he doesn't like to do PDA in front of his friends. LOLOL. So I was like, OK. Whatever. But he is still sweet most times. Not ignoring me or anything, really. Even for most occasions like watching Game of Thrones or just as simple as sitting inside the car, he would let his friends know we are inseparable. LOL. Unbelievably cute. Maybe I have put a lower standard since almost none of my ex's did PDA anyway. The only PDA master is E, the other boyfriend. Maybe that is the only different thing really stood out between E and J.
Anyway, I found that I can't stop talking about J lately, which is pretty scary cos then it means I'm pretty much hooked by him now.
I thought multi-tasking in dating life would be just fun and easy to handle. It is not really. I am 8 days into leaving for Austin to see E yet I'm pretty sad thinking that it will be over with J. I'm gonna miss the cute face and really nice smell. Apparently two of my weaknesses in a guy. But even if it work well with J, I don't think I'll have the guts to end thing with E. Afterall he is the sweetest guy I've ever been with. Very rare finding! :P
The longer I spend time with him also I realized that he is so so cute and the best quality is that he is probably the second cleanest guy I've ever been with. A nice smell guy is the best, at least for me. So who is the first cleanest guy? LOL probably my weirdo ex (the old guy). But J (let's call the Colorado bf as J) is very close to that standard. Other than that quality, I like that he is a planner. He never suddenly bailed from any of our plans, and always told me in advance what is going to happen. Like for example, one thing that I less like about him that he is a gamer. This is pretty new for me, or maybe I haven't dated enough guys to get a sample like that? LOL. But yea, he will always tell me if he is going to spend time playing video games with his friends, letting me know that I will not like it, hence I may not want to come and watch him play and ignoring me. That is somehow pretty sweet. I like how he told me in advance for most things. He even actually told me that our "thing" will not work since he is moving soon. So I am trying to manage my expectation since beginning. And I should, but the reality is, it is hard! Haha.. Especially after we hung out several times, he invited me to hang out with his friends, etc.
Oh one thing that is pretty cute about him is that he (again) told me in advance that he doesn't like to do PDA in front of his friends. LOLOL. So I was like, OK. Whatever. But he is still sweet most times. Not ignoring me or anything, really. Even for most occasions like watching Game of Thrones or just as simple as sitting inside the car, he would let his friends know we are inseparable. LOL. Unbelievably cute. Maybe I have put a lower standard since almost none of my ex's did PDA anyway. The only PDA master is E, the other boyfriend. Maybe that is the only different thing really stood out between E and J.
Anyway, I found that I can't stop talking about J lately, which is pretty scary cos then it means I'm pretty much hooked by him now.
I thought multi-tasking in dating life would be just fun and easy to handle. It is not really. I am 8 days into leaving for Austin to see E yet I'm pretty sad thinking that it will be over with J. I'm gonna miss the cute face and really nice smell. Apparently two of my weaknesses in a guy. But even if it work well with J, I don't think I'll have the guts to end thing with E. Afterall he is the sweetest guy I've ever been with. Very rare finding! :P
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Confession
OK. Since I pretty much started here, I just might as well update it too. So I ended up dating that guy that had asked me out.
Yea... Not proud of it! But anyway, I don't know. I think he was just sooooo interesting and it would be such a shame for me to miss the chance, I guess.
So eventually I said yes, and he responded really really well. Although yup, now the deal is (I think) for us to hangout until the end of this month at least.
I don't know (again), but I really like him too, I think. He is just totally different from the other guys I've ever been with. Well to be fair, all of them are different to each other. But this one, he is 4 years younger (although he is graduating from his master program this May), a really nerd (which somehow I think it is super cute?!). If you watched big bang theory, he is kinda like those guys, but way more cute (more to sexy even). So yea, it is just perfect for me!
The awkward thing, though, he is super planned, like no one (again) I've ever been with. Which is a good thing, because most guys I knew would not give a damn bout small things in terms of planning. But boy, he is good. Sometimes it could be more to the boring side (?) >> cause basically my bf is really "rock&roll" type of guy. So they're just totally different.
Anywaay.... yup. Right now I am just clueless, I guess. I like them both.
If there's anything I'd be grateful about, is to come to the US being single! LOL
Yea... Not proud of it! But anyway, I don't know. I think he was just sooooo interesting and it would be such a shame for me to miss the chance, I guess.
So eventually I said yes, and he responded really really well. Although yup, now the deal is (I think) for us to hangout until the end of this month at least.
I don't know (again), but I really like him too, I think. He is just totally different from the other guys I've ever been with. Well to be fair, all of them are different to each other. But this one, he is 4 years younger (although he is graduating from his master program this May), a really nerd (which somehow I think it is super cute?!). If you watched big bang theory, he is kinda like those guys, but way more cute (more to sexy even). So yea, it is just perfect for me!
The awkward thing, though, he is super planned, like no one (again) I've ever been with. Which is a good thing, because most guys I knew would not give a damn bout small things in terms of planning. But boy, he is good. Sometimes it could be more to the boring side (?) >> cause basically my bf is really "rock&roll" type of guy. So they're just totally different.
Anywaay.... yup. Right now I am just clueless, I guess. I like them both.
If there's anything I'd be grateful about, is to come to the US being single! LOL
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