LDR (part 3)

"So how do u feel?"
"feel what?"
"about me leaving"
"well.. I try not to be mellow" (walking away)
(reaching out, hug) "you know, I wish I had met you earlier"
(crying)

"don't cry"
"that's what I've been trying to!"

***
"I'll call you tomorrow morning. So don't make a scene downstairs. Don't cry. OK? Otherwise I won't call you (giggle)"
"...." (tears come out like waterfall) "I want to go to restroom"
"Okay"

(Inside the elevator)
(cry out louder)
"don't cry, that's not the memory we should remember"
"I knoow!! (cry even louder)"
"I knooww (mimicking) see now you even singing (laugh)"
(joining in laughter)


***
(text)
It was good to spend time with you.
Even though I was chocked up mentally
I hope the next few weeks go by fast
August is not too far away
I don't know what to say or how to express myself. It's been a lot for me to experience and go through...
Wish we had more time together, but soon


I hope so too :')

LDR (part 2)

LDRnya aja belom, tapi udah part 2. Wkwkwkw...

Okeh jadi by the time I write this, abah brangkatnya lusa T_T

Cediiihhhh huaaa :'(

Belom ampe nangis2an sih, dan kalo bisa sih ngga usah pake acara gitu2lah. Malyu. Hihi.. Walopun di kala malam melanda biasanya saya jadi galo dan mewek2 sendiri..

Saya jadi inget serial HIMYM yang (lupa season brapa) Ted pacaran sama Victoria dan akhirnya suatu saat Victoria harus pergi kerja ke tempat yang jauh, dan memaksa mreka buat putus. Di situ Marshall ngomong ke Ted, kira2 gini,
"Ted, think about it this way. If you knew that you were going to lose your leg tomorrow, would you sit on the couch and cry about it or would you run and jump and do some awesome air kicks while you still could?"

Jadi di hari2 terakhir abah kerja di Jakarta, kami justru bikin quality time dan seneng2 hepi2 aja daripada sedih2an. Dan justru di saat2 terakhir ini si abah jadi makin suwit :">

Oke sampe sini, kalo udah agak ngerasa geli2 jijay bacanya, please jangan diterusin :)) *LOL

Jadi 2 hari lalu pertama kalinya saya nemenin abah ke acara temennya. Plus one-nya lah istilahnya. Maybe some of you would say, "okay.. what's the big deal? Isn't everyone do the same while they're dating?"
Not for us, apparently.. Saya ngga pernah ngundang abah jadi plus one saya di acara siapapun, dan dia juga gitu sebelumnya. I'm sure it's not about he being ashamed of me, but more because we don't really want to be too public. Well, not we, him. Kalo saya sih sbnrnya biasa aja. Keliatan orang gapapa, ngga juga gapapa. Asal jangan keterusan aja ampe bertaun2 pacaran masih diem2an.
Kalo kata abah, dia emang orangnya private bgt untuk urusan begitu. Apalagi di depan orang2 kantor, kesannya agak kurang profesional aja kalo macar sekantor gitu. Keliatan orang lagi jalan berdua ngga papa, tapi ngga pernah bener2 officially dibawa2 ke acara gitu.

Nah, jadi pas hari Sabtu kemarin tiba2 abah bilang, "I'm going to P***'s going out party. He's leaving for his next assignment, too. Do you wanna come?"' Saya: come to your place? *belaga bego* Him: "not come to my place. Come to P***'s party with me. I'll let him know I'm bringing guest. His wife will be curious to see who that guest is, cause she always tries to match me up"

Trus gue eksaitit sih. Tapi belaga cool dikit. Kesannya akhirnya gue diakui gitu :') *sedih bet deh lo Shel*

The party was going pretty well. I think I did a pretty good job as his plus-one. Tried to be friendly enough in front of his friends who is in the same company as me. Ditambah hal2 sweet lainnya yang sebenernya pengen sih gue ceritain disini, tapi, sudahlah. Ntar yang baca makin eneg "ini lo crita apaan sih." LOL

He said he's coming on August. For one week.

Me: One week after my brother's wedding ya? Not before, cause I'm having training week before
Him: Yes. The weekend, and one week after that
Me: Are you going somewhere else or Jakarta only?
Him: Jakarta only. Hey,  I'm coming to see you

:">

LDR (part 1)

udah mayan lama juga ya saya ngga ngebacot disinih. Hihi... Sering sih kepikiran mo nulis apa gitu, tp pas keinget, lagi d rumah dan ga enak deh ngeblog pake hp itu. Jadi lupa smua deh yang mo ditulis.

Anyway busway, si abah (sebut saja demikian, berhubung umurnya jauh wkwk) udah mau pindah tugas ke Kuwait. Yes. Kuwait. Deket bgt yah? :) *sarcasm detected

Sebenernya sih dari usia 2 minggu kita kenal, dia udah ngasi tau soal kepergiannya ini. Dan dia juga baru tau saat itu juga. Tentunya dan pastinya saya siyok donk ya. WHAT?! trus maksud lo, deketin gue, apa??

Ngga deng, itu dalem ati aja. Aslinya saya cuma bilang, "hah? So what happen to this? I won't see u anymore then?"
Jadi sebenernya ketika dia ngasi tau ke saya (which is around Oktober awal), itu rencananya dia bakal hengkang Desember ato Januari gitu. Trus dia cuma jawab, "well let's see how things going between now until the end of this year. If it's something serious, then, ... But we can meet in between. Maybe Spore.. bla3x"

Eh kok ya keterusan aja abah ngga brangkat2 ampe bulan ini. Yang mana kalo diitung2 kita ngedate udah, mm.. 9 (sembilan) bulanan loh. *applause by me for me*

By the time saya nulis ini, dia brangkatnya minggu depan. *nangis bombay*

I hate LDR.
Of course.
Who doesn't?

And honestly, I'm not so sure it will work out.

Things always get messy once he's away. Saya jadi needy.. Dia jadi diem. Dan slalu jadi baek lagi pas ketemu. Itu cuma kalo ditinggal seminggu dua minggu pas dines kluar negri. Gimana kalo berbulan-bulan? *sigh

Orang biasanya jadi komentar, "lo ngga dibawa ikutan aja kesana Shel?"

Menurut L?

Gw sih mau aja sebenernya, LOL

But again, it's just 9 months. If it's still going on until 2 years, that is when I'll give more pat on my own shoulder. LDR is not for everyone, afterall.

Private vs Public

Pas baru liat judulnya saya langsung mikir, "ni orang yang baca mikirnya gue bakal ngomongin skolah kali ya?"
Nope, no it's not.
Sebenernya saya lagi mo ngomongin tipe orang.

Menurut saya, saya ini orangnya cukup public. Sangat public? Hmm ngga juga sih. Cukup aja kali ya. Saya ini cukup ember mengenai diri saya sendiri. Walaupun stelah tengok kanan kiri, banyak kok yang lebih public lagi dari saya huehehe. Untungnya public menurut saya adalah, ya , saya sering lah ya curhat ke orang. Curcol apalagi. Gampang banget deh pokoknya dikorek2 soal pribadi. Tapi saya brusaha ga ampe norak yang curcol di status BB ato wasap gitu lah ya. Apalagi status communicator di kantor wkakakak..

Yah saya palingan curhat ya face to face, ato di blog ini, ato di Path. Udah. Itu doank kok. Ga banyak.
(Yea u're right)

Anyway, si doinya gue itu malah kebalikan. Orangnya private banget (katanya sih). Katanya, ada bbrp hal yang menurut dia itu bukan urusan orang lain. Ya iya sih bener juga. Kayaknya rata2 cowo gitu sih. Coba liat di social media misalnya, biasanya yang agak hebohan dikit tu cewe, kalo cowo rata2 biasa aja. At least itu cowo yang menurut saya beneran cowo loh yaa.. Jadi walopun saya kadang suka mikir, "knapa sih cowo gue private bgt orangnya. Com2 ga aktif, socmed ga punya. Adanya whatsapp doank". Itu juga ampir gda foto sampe akhirnya gambar iMadeFace yang gue bikin, dipajang jadi potonye. Untung mirip. Wkwkw..
Tapiii in the end of the day, I would not be attracted by some guy who is as public as me. Yang dikit2 curhat, suka gosip, dikit2 update status ato apalah di socmed. Who will make me wonder, "lo, laki kan?" #osh #tajem.

Jadii... tibalah saya pada konklusi bahwa wajarlah ya kita sebagai cewe tends to be more public. Okay, sounds more like an excuse, ato pembelaan diri. Tapiii lagi, saya selalu impressed by cewe yang agak kek cowo gitu loh. More private. Kesannya, cool dan controlled gitu. I triiiedd to be one, but I think I'm not that good :p
Salah satu temen saya juga crita soal dirinya yang cukup private, misal pas dia jadian sama cowonya (now her husband). Kata dia, "mnurut aku Shel, aku mo jadian sama sapa juga, toh gue ma lo masi temenan dan gda yang brubah. Jadi ngga perlulah gue crita2. Toh kalo lo gue anggap temen gue dan ada hal yang penting, pasti gue kasi tau".

Cool ye?

But again. Ya udahlah ya. We are what we are. Don't try to be something/someone u're not. I guess. Seenggaknya brusaha ngga lebay aja :p

Ciao!

Relationship

I don't know if it's just me, but I think relationship is a really tough lesson. Mungkin SKSnya bisa dipake untuk lulus ujian kehidupan ini dan melamar ke ujian kehidupan lainnya *apeuh*

I know I'm not an expert in this area at all. I mean, I've only been in this for, err, twice. I'm not saying the more u got into it, the more expert you are. Malah mnurut saya kalo"dikit2ganti" itu berarti, "you haven't learned your lesson". That's one of the reason. Reason lainnya, "he/she (who was with you) hasn't learned her/his lesson". Lainnya ya.. "it's just not meant to be".

Why do I say "you haven't learned your lesson"? Cause like I said before, it's tough. Have you ever wondered why things are so much easier when you're with your friend, but it's not when you're with your significant others? Because almost everything, you take it personally. Ga santei. And you have expectations. That's the dangerous part.

I have learned so many theories. Read it, talked about it, understood it. Practice it? That's different story. At least I think I have become much more better person in this. Cause I want to learn my lesson. Why do I have to repeat same things over and over again and don't make any good progress?

Anyway, looking forward to accomplish this tough lesson. Fingers crossed ;p

Emotion

in the words of a broken heart, it's just emotion that's taking me over

Just recently realized that emotion is far more powerful than you can imagine.
I mean, like, nothing can hold you from doing anything based on emotion. True?

Cause emotion doesn't listen to logic, doesn't listen to the fact, doesn't listen to anything. Sometimes you can control it, sometimes you can't.
Depends on how good you can control yourself. And it requires a lot of practice. A LOT.

Cause like someone told me,
"Too much emotion makes you foolish. No emotion makes you like this wall. Nothing inside."

Bucket List

Everyone should have their own bucket list.

You know, the list of things you want to do while u're still alive (don't want to say "before you die", oops, now I said it)

While everyone also think they won't die, at least not today *good thinking. I learned it from Game of Thrones*

So they start to think , "there's still tomorrow". Why such a rush?

You know the quote that sounds a bit like this "live like there's no tomorrow". For me it more fits this way "live your life while you're still young". Yup, that sounds more appropriate. But then again other would say, "so what? why limit yourself with the number?"

Anyway, enough with this wired thought. For me, I have many things in my bucket list. Though I don't really restrict myself to that. I mean, I'm flexible. One day people would say, "let's do this! this is fun! there's no other chances or time to do this later!" then, well, why not?

As long as u're happy. But then, how you can be so sure that u're happy? *endless*