If I have to mark 2013 as "something", I'll mark it as year of BOYS and adventure. Oh and one more. Year where I start to experience the so called "quarter-life-crisis"
I was involved with 3 guys who all gave me pretty heartbreak. Well the first one gave the biggest one. Without explanation whatsoever. Yep. Until now. Gila ya dipikir2? Tapi ya sudahlah.
Second one was my rebound. But ended up leaving me. Cause he didn't want to date a girl who (at that time) still in a relationship (walopun gajelas statusnya) dan masih ngarepin si cowo eta (yaeyalah scara gw cinta mati sama yang pertama). But know what? I ended up being a really good friends with this second guy. Cause we were somehow together for a while (really brief actually. 2 weeks. lol), so he knows me so well. He advises me things like a big brother. Protective and caring. He was the one warned me when I was close with the third one. I didn't listen. And turned out he was RIGHT 100%. So now I told him "I would listen to u after this since you were so right".
Third one was not a rebound anymore. But I really liked him. I was actually in Lala Land (as always), he was too. But he realized earlier than me, which leaving me hurt. And felt betrayed. Tho I know he didn't mean it. He is just a guy. Who is not for me. Period.
So that's about guys in 2013. Which is pretty funny actually, cause before that I was single (still dating but nothing meaningful) for +-3years, and the reason I was back on the track was because I wanted to feel the roller-coaster feeling again. Arghhh... Now enough with that! LOL. Ampondije pokoknya...
Adventure: note few holiday romance. Bali twice with different stories. Jakarta nightlife. Met new people. NZ and OZ for the very first time. Skydive (bucket list item) experience. Another holiday romance (supposedly) which turned to be a solo travelling on year end. Not so impressive in working-life wise, which I'm going to fix in 2014. Amen. Wish me luck! :)
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
(another) story of broken heart
yea I know...
same old story. LOL.
It's kinda good though, now I can tell that I'm one step closer to the right one. Probably?
Good thing also that it didn't go for too long to cause a severe brokenheart. I was just upset, a bit. Not much.
I don't hate him. I was just disappointed. Afterall there's a lesson learn from all of the guys I was involved to.
Don't give in. Don't buy every words he said. Take a note! With Bold Letters!
I'm not really in the mood to tell the whole story. But the primary excuses were:
Can't do LDR (of course. who can? well I can. not them)
So many differences (mostly discovered while we see each other in person)
There's another girl (sucks huh? well not everything goes as what you want. Welcome to LIFE)
It's OK though.
Keep having the faith.
Meanwhile, let's focus on career!
same old story. LOL.
It's kinda good though, now I can tell that I'm one step closer to the right one. Probably?
Good thing also that it didn't go for too long to cause a severe brokenheart. I was just upset, a bit. Not much.
I don't hate him. I was just disappointed. Afterall there's a lesson learn from all of the guys I was involved to.
Don't give in. Don't buy every words he said. Take a note! With Bold Letters!
I'm not really in the mood to tell the whole story. But the primary excuses were:
Can't do LDR (of course. who can? well I can. not them)
So many differences (mostly discovered while we see each other in person)
There's another girl (sucks huh? well not everything goes as what you want. Welcome to LIFE)
It's OK though.
Keep having the faith.
Meanwhile, let's focus on career!
Monday, November 25, 2013
Live the present, cherish the moment
I read a book, a good one. One of the passage told things like this (basically),
So yea, one thing I should remember from now on is, live the present - and cherish the moment. What if it somehow finished or changed into something bad? I don't care. F it. Don't ever regret something in the past. That is what turning you into someone you are right now. Future? Don't ever let your anxiety stop you from what you want to achieve.
No matter how sad I was, how disappointed, I thank you - you - and you. Thanks :)
I don't live in either my past or my future. I'm interested only in the present. If you can concentrate always on the present, you'll be a happy man. Life will be a party for you, a grand festival, because life is the moment we're living now.I love that part. Somehow it reminds me of myself. The time when I'm sad cause I miss the past. The time when I'm anxious about the future. I wrote it several times here (or maybe somewhere else) that I'm afraid when I'm happy. Cause nothing really lasts forever. But why would I be afraid? This is life. And no matter how we like or don't like it, we still have to live it.
So yea, one thing I should remember from now on is, live the present - and cherish the moment. What if it somehow finished or changed into something bad? I don't care. F it. Don't ever regret something in the past. That is what turning you into someone you are right now. Future? Don't ever let your anxiety stop you from what you want to achieve.
No matter how sad I was, how disappointed, I thank you - you - and you. Thanks :)
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
Self respect
I deleted every photos, emails from him. And today I found out in my folder, I still had my conversation history with him on my Microsoft Lync.
I read that through.
I found something.
Man.. Did I have any respect to my ownself? LOL. Every topic we talked about was about him and him and him. What a selfish b*stard. :p
Clearly nothing about me that he found interesting to discuss. What did I really think at that time?
I thought, well he was the one who has so many problems. Messed up. While I was okay. So I should be more thoughtful. Be a perfect gf. It's not about me. It's about him. ETC... ETC...
I was dumb, and blind, clearly. I never gave any respect to my ownself. How did I expect someone's respect towards me if I didn't even respect myself?
Recently I chatted a lot with my "new guy". LOL. So far everything's going well. Yea of course, it's new. I'm still a bit pessimistic. But well.. we should do what make us happy :) And if that (old) one doesn't make me happy, there are still others who are willingly to do so :)
I read that through.
I found something.
Man.. Did I have any respect to my ownself? LOL. Every topic we talked about was about him and him and him. What a selfish b*stard. :p
Clearly nothing about me that he found interesting to discuss. What did I really think at that time?
I thought, well he was the one who has so many problems. Messed up. While I was okay. So I should be more thoughtful. Be a perfect gf. It's not about me. It's about him. ETC... ETC...
I was dumb, and blind, clearly. I never gave any respect to my ownself. How did I expect someone's respect towards me if I didn't even respect myself?
Recently I chatted a lot with my "new guy". LOL. So far everything's going well. Yea of course, it's new. I'm still a bit pessimistic. But well.. we should do what make us happy :) And if that (old) one doesn't make me happy, there are still others who are willingly to do so :)
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Hopeless Romantic
I think that's the most suitable nickname for me :p
Most of my friends would know that Sheila falls in love every 3 hours. LOL. Get attached too soon. Too excited, blabla..
Well but that's me. Can't help it :p
Just recently met a guy.
I dunno where's this going. Just one word for now. Excited xp
Most of my friends would know that Sheila falls in love every 3 hours. LOL. Get attached too soon. Too excited, blabla..
Well but that's me. Can't help it :p
Just recently met a guy.
I dunno where's this going. Just one word for now. Excited xp
Friday, October 18, 2013
Been Quite a While...
I haven't posted anything on this blog. Well I guess I have been too sad to write anything and will somehow read again the old posts.
For anyone who's curious bout the update (are u? lol), it's not good. To summarize it, the worst case I expected, it happened. And I also think I've been a really naive person the whole time. It was easy for me to trust someone based on what they said. Is it wrong to put a trust on someone?
But yea I think I've been fooled. And the worst thing I don't even get any explanation. I can only assume. And I waited. Still nothing.
But I learn so much from this. I learn that it's not that bad. Honestly, even sometimes I keep asking myself how can people do such thing to me (even I never treated em bad, at all), I'm grateful. I realize I haven't seen enough from this world. I met many new people, I know many new people. And it was EXACTLY right after I was turned down by that one. And that also made me realize, He always has a plan for me. It's a whole journey I have to take. It's a sequence. I have to take every steps to get to the last stage.
Other thing that I learned, I'm so rich. Not money wise, but I start to evaluate things again. I have a job. I have friends. I have my family. Then why I worry so much about some small part of my life that wasn't satisfying? I start to appreciate the other things I have. I love them.
Of course I haven't moved on yet. But I've been through similar thing (and worse). And I know I will pass it.
:)
Semangat!
For anyone who's curious bout the update (are u? lol), it's not good. To summarize it, the worst case I expected, it happened. And I also think I've been a really naive person the whole time. It was easy for me to trust someone based on what they said. Is it wrong to put a trust on someone?
But yea I think I've been fooled. And the worst thing I don't even get any explanation. I can only assume. And I waited. Still nothing.
But I learn so much from this. I learn that it's not that bad. Honestly, even sometimes I keep asking myself how can people do such thing to me (even I never treated em bad, at all), I'm grateful. I realize I haven't seen enough from this world. I met many new people, I know many new people. And it was EXACTLY right after I was turned down by that one. And that also made me realize, He always has a plan for me. It's a whole journey I have to take. It's a sequence. I have to take every steps to get to the last stage.
Other thing that I learned, I'm so rich. Not money wise, but I start to evaluate things again. I have a job. I have friends. I have my family. Then why I worry so much about some small part of my life that wasn't satisfying? I start to appreciate the other things I have. I love them.
Of course I haven't moved on yet. But I've been through similar thing (and worse). And I know I will pass it.
:)
Semangat!
Thursday, August 22, 2013
New is Always Better
Kinda remember one of the quote by Barney Stinson on HIMYM
"New is always better"
Though it's silly and not 100% true, I think it makes sense.
And why it is better is not always because that person is better (well sometimes they are), but because of the moment.
Do u realize that in every relationship, the best moment was the PDKT moment? Of course. When the relationship has died, all you need to do is find something new.
Well.. It works so far
"New is always better"
Though it's silly and not 100% true, I think it makes sense.
And why it is better is not always because that person is better (well sometimes they are), but because of the moment.
Do u realize that in every relationship, the best moment was the PDKT moment? Of course. When the relationship has died, all you need to do is find something new.
Well.. It works so far
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