Adventures

I was just looking at a post my sister-in-law posted on FB now. She and my brother with their baby on the way (she is pregnant now :) )
then I started to think, how different our lives are.

I'm not saying one is better than another, and to be noted, nothing I'm jealous of, neither him to me. Plus he is a guy, if he was a she, then I'd probably have some jealousy every now and then. LOL.

I'm just observing how our life was always taking quite a different path since before. He was always the "secured" type of person. Going to university close to our hometown. Always be in a serious relationship, I don't think he liked to play around. Or maybe I don't know. Haha.. Well now he is happily married with a woman from a really nice family. Religious, well lived, loving family, etc. A perfect picture to be family of someone you want to introduce to your own family, I'd say.

While me, I was always wandering around. Always try to escape. I chose Bandung to go after graduated from high school. I want to experience something new. I want to travel the world (well I think everybody kinda want this, too. I was just lucky enough to "sometimes" got the chances). I want to know more and more people. I experienced a lot of broken hearts, but I guess that's OK. Not really OK, but hey, I'm survived! :)
And now I'm here, 15.000 KMs from home, 14 hours difference in timezone. Haven't really found someone "adequate" to introduce to my family, I guess. LOL. Parents keep on asking bout "this guy" but I don't think I'll have the guts to.

I think I live the life following the motto "now or never", "you only live once", "you'll regret more of something you didn't do than something you did". And I'm not sure if this is what I have always wanted to, hence unconsciously I'm leading my way into this path, or it is just always what God has planned for me. Maybe a little bit of both.

What if somehow my life was a different story? Something a little bit more like my brother's. Would I be happy? Would I crave for my current type of life? Probably. I guess my mind is just sometimes "crazying" around thinking bout something I might ended up doing/being.

I hope

God is not mad at me as I frequently whine about something.
And the more I think about it sometimes, the more I realized that I have become ungrateful human being.

I remember back in late 2010 I was somehow quite depressed looking for job. I was a little bit cocky before I graduated because a lot of companies interview me, and I was interning in my current company. So I was like, "omg.. which one to choose? so confused" lol
Until I got the point when those companies stopped chasing me. I was like, OMG am I gonna get a job at all? If I got hired, I swear I would work my ass off, etc..etc
And then what? I got back to be lazyyy most times. Hahaha..

Later after that I was soooo hoping I'll go to school to pursue master degree abroad, especially in the U.S and especially in this school I'm attending now. So basically, if u asked me, what was my biggest dream? Well it is now. And I got it eventually. I was so damn grateful. And now? I'm whining cos I'm sick of studying! LOL. Sometimes I think wouldn't it be nice just to chilling by the beach, drinking with your friends, just like what I did before I got here. Can you believe how ungrateful I am now? Hahahaha...

Oh well, I guess I'll just need to constantly remind myself. Sheila, this was your dream. It came true, but it is not over yet. Keep on working!

Amen!

Not homesick... but

you know how I said in the previous post that I started to love this place and no longer feel homesick? That's true, until I started my semester. LOL.
Basically I'm back to the stressful mode. Probably not as crazy as last semester, cause this semester I have Thursday Friday off, which is great, but then it means I really need to start working on my research. Well basically I got scholarship for working on my research, so no question, I HAVE to do it.
I have the topic already, but I am just not sure how difficult it would be. I really really hope it won't have anything to do with programming, cos I just can't!

But anyway, as stressed as I am, one thing that really has changed is that I am still not homesick. Even the truth is, I'm sad thinking I'll have to go back to Indo. I know now that sounds so snob! Hahaha.. but that's true, man. One of the reasons is probably cos I have had cemceman in here, though it's not serious. But then I also just frickin love this place! No pembantu, but everything is basically available and somehow I feel more more independent here, and more self diciplined, somehow. I don't think that's a correct English, but whatever.
I even think that maybe (maybe) if I nailed my master thesis, then I could continue to PhD just so I could extend my stay? LOL. Oh well, one can only hope. But again even only master I am already stressed, can imagine how it's gonna be for PhD!
One thing kinda disappoint me recently is that the company I'm working on won't lay me off with the "package" of money. Dang it. I already expected it. I was thinking I would go partying everytime with that money. LOL. Kidding of course. But that money will really help. Oh well maybe eventually I'll need to go back to Indo and continue my work? I dunno. I really want to stay here though. *cry*

Annyywaaayyy...
Just quick update from me.
Til next story!

Homesick Mood : Zero

I don't know whether it is because I'm on holiday, free of stresses, or what, but at the moment I'm not homesick at all.
In fact, I'm thinking how awesome it is living in here now. Well I hope this feeling will last for quite long time. Hahaha...

I think this is just basically one phase that I would get thru. I'm quite adjusted by now. Not feeling lonely anymore. Plus, again, I'm on holiday, so I don't feel all the stresses of homework etc.

During this holiday, also, I get to see more of this place. I mean, afterall, this is a holiday destination place.

I know at first I was soooo longing of Indo's food. I was dying thinking of how many food I miss. But now, I cook sometimes. And I got friends who usually supply me with some Indo's food. Like sambel, or other stuffs. I think I feel contented by now.

There's a friend of mine who is taking a master program dual uni. Meaning, last semester he spent in the same school as mine in here and now he is in France to spend one semester. The following semester he will be back in the US again. Hahaha! How confusing!
He just texted me how he felt like he wanna cry because some things, like no internet at the moment, plus he just arrived so he didn't have friends yet. Oh well, talking bout adjustment! Can't imagine if I'm in that situation. It will feel like never ending homesick, huh.

But again, I think he will get more advantages eventually. Like u always hear the saying, "what doesn't kill u make u stronger". So after he dealt with all of those struggles, he will feel more achieved in the end. I'm pretty sure of that. And afterall, he gets to see more of the world! Well for me, I think I'd be happy enough to spend all the years in one place. Adequate! LOL.

Goodbye 2015

You know what is crazy about celebrating New Year? You start to lose count. Haha.... You were like, "err what? What year is it now? And it has already over? You gotta be kidding me!!!"

Funny thing, I reckon that eveeryyy end of year for the last 4 years, I allllways have new love story. LOL. Whether it is bitter or sweet ones.
End of 2015 - E (very very fresh and new, haven't talked bout this at all, lol)
End of 2014 - T
End of 2013 - A
End of 2012 - H

Anywaaay, I don't know if I have new resolution for 2016. All I wanna pursue is good grade and really work my ass off on the research. Last semester I almost got 4.0 GPA if it is not bcos of one stupid class. Oh well... I knew better if 4.0 doesn't really matter when u apply for a job, but still, I think it would have been really cool. But anyway, I'm still very grateful for whatever I achieved, Thanks GOD for everything. Really, I do. Human can only hope and dreams higher than what we already have. But in the end, it is all beyond expectation.

2015 is pretty crazy afterall. This is the year of vacation for sure. First half of the year was spent by farewell vacation to Bali and Bali again, with different group of friends. Year of sitting and waiting whether I will go to US for school or not. Plus waiting for all the paperwork things. That was craazy, but fun. Second half of the year, of course, I'm in US already. Trying to adapt, adjust, everything. Going from very hot and humid place in the world, to the 4 season place. Veeryy hot and dry at one time and now, veeryyy cold and dry also. It is funny how I haven't met ants, or mosquitos, and when I left my chips exposed to the air, it will still be crispy. Hahahaha... very fun observation.

This is also the year of major change. Change from all the splurges into having to cut all expenses! Bad year for us the oil and gas workers. But oh well... hopefully it will be much better next year. Can only hope, right?

Love life, I still haven't found the one, though I mentioned at the beginning that I met someone new. Yea not the type I'd marry. But it is just fun to meet someone very different from what I use to know :)

Afterall, I hope all the best for all of us in 2016. I'll try to exercise more and be more healthy next year (as what all people always say for new year resolution, LOLOL).

Goodbye 2015! Thanks for everything!

The Perks of being Single

After some failures in my past dating life, I used to think, man, had it not been failed, I would probably have raised couple of kids by now. The way I used to dream about my future life when I was still a little kid. And now, I'm 27 going 28 in half a year. Wow.
I have to tell ya, I enjoy my single life soooo sooo much that I haven't had thought it would be this exciting.
OK I have to admit I have the anxiety if I keep being single until my 30s without having a kid, then it would probably be too late for me. But aside of that "child" equation, I really enjoy being single.

I have to tell ya too, that my life in the past 3 years were the most exciting and adventurous from my almost 3 decades being in this world. I did crazy things, some I regret, most I don't regret. And the best part of it, is, nobody restrict me from doing things. I do what I want to do. I met so many exciting people, did crazy things together, see the world from many views.

Well I hope when it is the time, I would have enjoyed it enough to make me settle down. LOL

New things

One thing about living in the U.S, as I think I've talked bout this before, is that you gotta learn to do most things by yourself. Cos nothing is cheap, especially if it's related to services. So yea, living here in 4 months now have improved myself a bit, I think.
Now I cook more. LOL. I can cook gorengan ( just like mamang2 style), sop sayur baso, kare, etc. And the better thing is when people say they like your cooking ( housemate and landlord). Makes me motivated to cook more. Maybe. Hahaha..

Another thing is now I'm really good at polishing my nail. You know it ain't easy job, especially when you do it to your right hand using your left hand. Believe me! But now, I can do it!!

I also cut my own bangs. Poni bahasa Indonya. And my housemate was like, "did u just have a haircut?". "Yea I cut it myself". "Really? It looks good, tho". BAHAHAHAA... Kalo kepepet ternyata semua hal bisa dilakuin sendiri yah?
I remember I always had my nail polished in the nail saloon everytime. So spoilt. My bangs cut in the saloon too. Of course it is still better than if I do it myself, but it is way more expensive than it should have been.

I think I'm learning Survival 101 now. LOL