Two things

Now I realized what I really, REALLY want in life.

1. Love
2. Money

That's it. Cannot really survive for a long time without two of those things!

Belajar

Sejujurnya, saya ini bukan orang yang bener-bener maniak belajar. Hell, duh, of course. Some people might think, what am I pursuing? Why are you so interested in studying? And some people will be just, really into studying, I guess.

For me personally, I like it when I know better. And I will be so insulted, if people think I know nothing. Somehow. And by knowing more than others, you feel empowered. Of course. It's like you have money, only it is not, but it's a knowledge not all people know about.

I just took several classes that are considered as pretty hard and a lot of work. And I'm more than happy to take it. Like, hello? This is the only chance I'd ever learn from these great people. The funny thing is, one of the class is called 2D Structural Seismic Interpretation which supposedly have been taught by my undergrad school. Not to mention I have worked on that kind of thing for almost 5 years. And what? I just really learned about it, NOW. Ironic. Most likely because now I know better why it is important. Second is because they just teach it in a lot better way. I'm not exaggerating things here.

Anywaay, some of the people I know here would try to avoid some "hard" classes just because they want to relax and get good grades from "easier" class. I just cannot understand that.

Sorry if it kinda sounds cocky, though. Didn't mean to. LOL

Mi Amor

OK several days ago I might have written dramatic posts on this blog about my love. Which was true, our situation is not ideal at all. The only ideal thing is, we do love each other very very much, that's all I can say. I might be annoyed sometimes by a lot of things, about him, but the truth is, he never (ever) did something mean to me. Like, never. Even at my worst behaviour (or maybe not "worst" but I think I was being a little bit over the top), he was still very loving and patient in handling me.

I don't know what the future holds, but, I really wish I would grow old with someone as loving as he is to me...

Count Your Blessings

I have been constantly feeling sad sometimes about how "un-ideal" the situation I am in, like career wise, oil and gas industry, unknown future, but then I am also constantly trying to remind myself of how blessed I already am so far. Like, seriously.

For example, above is the tuition fee and living cost being paid by my professor, which is about +/- $18K per semester. Like, how could I afford that myself? And there are some people still willing to pay themselves (even taking student loan) just to get the education.

I should really remind myself everytime I start complaining bout things!

I Hate You

"Why..?", he asked me sweetly with that warm expression on his face. The face I would remember forever.
"Cause you make me love you"
"Making you love me in this hard situation?"
"Yea.."

When Reality Smacks You in Your Face

We had this conversation last night. The world is not a place for love. There are too much pain here.
Isn't it a little bit too unfair when two people, very much in love with each other, but cannot find a way to be together in a perfect world?

After all, life is not all about love. It might. But do you think love will stay when reality comes and slapping your face? Telling you, here is the love you want! And that's all you have to survive. Let's see how long could you cope with it.

Life is never totally fair with you. Sorry. It is just not. In the end I try to think, should I be grateful that I've at least experienced this wonderful thing for once? Or should I regret that I have to experience a lot of pain in the end? I hope I would be brave and strong enough to think the first one.




Wouldn't it be easier if we just could never have any feelings to begin with?

Just some updates

bout my life *jaelaah*

So now I have returned to the US again, luckily seeing my bf first, not directly to Golden. So it is pretty exciting and makes me happy rather than going straight to Golden. To be honest, this year is really really different compared to last year when I just got to the US. Last year I was soooo full of excitement and motivation, but now? I am just sooo unmotivated to go back. Going back to Indonesia has reminded me of how pleasant it is to live in Indonesia, how easy to get the food I love the most, how cheap it is to get massage, manicure pedicure, waxing treatment, somebody to clean up your house/apartment, and so on. But I guess that is just human nature. I saw a friend of mine on Facebook, he grew up in the US, worked several years in Indonesia and now has just recently returned to the US, seemingly so happy to be in the US and eating burgers. Meanwhile me seeing that, thinking, "waa..?" LOL.

Everybody just love their own home countries, of course. But anyywaayy, I still have my obligation to finish my school, cause if not, what's the point of all the struggles?
Other than that, I was so glad meeting my friends back in Indonesia. Some of them were really sweet ones, insisting on meeting up or even having short trip together, oh how I missed them and still do.
One thing I don't miss and makes me slightly glad not being there in Indonesia (especially Jakarta) is the crazy traffic, of course. It just made me going nuts everytime! Oh and the crimes. You can't just leave your belongings unattended, which was crazy for me after staying in the US for sometime now. I forgot my wallet a lot of time here in the US, never really lost it! People always happened to keep it for me. In Jakarta? Don't even try to think about it. I even lost my apartment access card which happened to be outside my door. It's like, seriously? Why would someone steal it? Yet they did!

Now thinking about going back to school is just irritating for me. I don't really have anyone there that I miss, at all, nope. Even looking at their Facebook updates just annoys me a lot! LOL. How bad is that?

Oh but well, now I get to see my bf for a lil bit less than 2 weeks, which I'm grateful about. I just love that guy more and more everyday :)