God is good

We should never doubt whatever God's plan for us. I think. Yes I didn't get the admission to the PhD program. I broke up with my boyfriend for a year. I am devastated. But what did I just get recently? An internship offer from an oil company in California! That.is.mind.blowing.

Of course I wanted that internship so fricking much like you won't believe. I prayed every night for it. Just for information, getting a job or internship here during this oil crisis is HARD AS HELL. Even a lot harder given the fact that you are an international student. Well... especially under Mr.T governance, as you know. I put my resume everywhere, submit it online, no call. Nothing. And it was crazy because under normal situation (high oil price), I would have gotten a lot of offers. It is well known that a person graduated from my school here (CSM) would get a lot of offers from everywhere. Well, not this time. But I think recently the situation is getting better (fingers crossed). Most people I know will already have internships also for this upcoming summer. But it is just so crazy, for me. It was almost impossible to get one.

It is crazy too to see how much they offer for the internship salary. It is like 3 times my salary in Indonesia after working for 5 years with one of the biggest oil company in the world. And in addition to that, they still give you a "moving allowance" that is almost as much as one month salary. Now I know why so many people want to work in the States (including me). Oh well, let's see what will happen next. I'm just hoping for the best and let God do the rest. All I know is now I'm under a lot of pressures since the people that are hiring me for the job kinda expected me to perform not just like a usual intern. Usual interns are people that just graduated fresh from the school. Technically I have had 5 years working exp, so...... well.........

On the side note, these past 2 weeks have been super dramatic with my ex-bf. On and Off. In the end I think the answer will be, how I learn to love someone without having the urge to "have" them. We love each other, no doubt about it. But we are just so impossible to be together without hurting each other (emotionally). Because what we "need" is different. I need a commit lover. He needs a flexible, open partnership.

Well... (again), that's life after all.

Good luck to me!