Can't believe I haven't really written here for a long time. Well.. I kinda know why... There's not enough good things happened lately that make me wanna write or remember it. Seems sad and gloomy? But that's the reality...
Lately I have been thinking a lot more about what really matters in life. Seems like there are a lot of things in life you can't count on. You think you have someone or a few people around you that you can't count on, but not really...
It also really makes you think, who are the real friends? Who are, or were, even real anymore now? Everyone only cares about themselves. But then again... asking my own self, have I really been someone that other people can count on?
Things have been real crazy for the past two years that really challenge my own faith too. Irony, huh? My blog name is "have a faith" and I can barely keep it.. It's just... sometimes when so many bad things happen, either to you or people that are close to you, it makes you think - Does God really exist? Even typing this makes me cringed a little, how dare I think that way?
But seriously... sometimes I think, what if everything in life just happens randomly. It's all statistics. Yes there are "outliers", but you can almost predict what can happen to someone's life based on their past, their family, their place of origins, their community, etc. It's so sad to get pretty close to believing it cos I definitely want to believe that things happen for a reason and it's already pretty much destined. That nothing really is meaningless... But then again, how come some people just have to endure much more unfortunate stuffs in their lives compared to the others? And maybe there are some people who are always in a comfortable situation all their lives. I know that would be rare, but I doubt they don't exist.
I really... really want to see the happy ending to it. Don't everyone else? We all want a happy ending of our lives. I hope I'll be a much more wise version of myself one day to understand it all..
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