Thursday, May 8, 2014

Open Vacancy: Cool friends

Seiring bertambah umurnya gw, gw jadi makin sadar kalo yang namanya temen itu susah dicari men.
Well of course kalo dibandingin pas jaman sekolah, lingkungan pergaulan gw sekarang jauh lebih luas. Ketemu lebih banyak orang, lebih beragam, entah beragam etnis/suku/warga negara/kulturnya, juga kalo dari umur lebih beragam banget lagi.
Kalo dulu-dulu terpatok gaulnya sama yang sepantaran banget (sama umur), kadang gaul sama yang lebih tua atau muda setaun dua taun aja udah keknya gimana banget. Nah sekarang? Gw temenan sama yang umurnya 30an lah, 40an, 50 juga ada, udah kayak ga ada gapnya aja "-__-

Dari segi pengalaman hidup dan pemikiran, selera musik udah cukup jauh beda, tapi ya... Isn't that what boarden our thoughts bout life? *caelah

Eniwei, recently I was thinking to take a diving license. Sebenernya udah dari lama sih pengen ngambilnya, tapi selalu ditunda-tunda. Nah, gw orangnya sangat ga suka travelling sendirian. Gw cengok aja gituh. At least gw harus sama temen gw 1 lagi lah. Nah waktu gw lagi mo nyari temen ini nih, gw langsung inget dan sadar betapa di saat sekarang ini gw semakin susah nyari temen buat ngelakuin hobby yang sama.

Setiap kali gw travelling, ada beberapa kriteria untuk travelling buddy yang bakal gw ajakin (dan mau gw ajakin) supaya nantinya gw have fun instead of malah bete. Cos well I did travel with people who I didn't enjoy to travel with.
Kriteria itu antara lain:
- We all love travelling, hence we won't be hesitate to spend money for this trip
- Walopun kita ngga ragu untuk spend money, tapi gw ga suka juga kalo my travelling buddy have different standard of this travelling. I meant, jangan terlalu pelit tapi jangan juga terlalu foya-foya. Gw gasuka spend money untuk hal-hal yang sebenernya ga krusial2 amat. Misalnya, sebenernya bisa stay d tempat yang murah dikit (tapi masih bagus dan nyaman) tapi malah milih yang mahal dan ngeluh mulu kalo ga sesuai standardnya.
- We love adventures. Nah gw juga bete nih kalo liburan gw udah mikir mau ngelakuin A-Z, eh deskeu malah pengennya leha-leha aja. Apalagi kalo sebenernya ada banyaak yang bisa kita lakuin di tempat itu. Hadeuh
- We kinda love the same thing. Or at least, have the same interests.
- Single, or at least, taken but not always with their lover. I don't against a couple. But well this is just my preference. Gw pengen liburan sama temen, not being a thirdwheel for the entire journey. And I just found it annoying when I asked my friend and she will be like "tapi ntar gw ngajak si A gpp ?" Hmmmm.... maybe u two should go for honeymoon instead of going on a trip with me
- Fun. Dari trip-trip yang gw pernah alamin sama temen-temen, ada bbrp yang gw have fuunnn banget. Most of it becos of the place. But u know what, I think the companies were the one gave the biggest impact. Trip yang isinya kita haha hihi mulu udah kayak orgil di negri orang. Ahh.. I miss those times

Eniwe again, I just found it hard to find more and more buddies like that. Tho I'm still lucky cos I will still find some. Just not a lot. Kadang lo deket sama some people, thinking you are buddies, only to find that he/she just taking u for granted. See? So, well when u find any friends that suit u too damn well, remember that they r really really precious :)

Monday, May 5, 2014

Ampir 2 bulan

Ngga nulis di blog ini. Udah cukup mayan banyak sih yang terjadi selama itu *tsaelah....

Tapi gini nih, kalo mo nulis soal apdet kehidupan tanpa adanya topik tertentu, slalu jadi bingung mo nulis apah.

Tapi bole deh, kali ini saya mau ngomongin soal keadaan sekitar saya aja yah.

Sudah kurang lebih 3taunan saya kerja dan tinggal di kota besar bernama Jakarta ini, dan makin hari makin saya elus dada (gaya bets) sama nilai-nilai manusia di dalemnya. Which makes me berkerut kening, tapi juga ya mudah-mudahaannnn yaaa ngga keseret2 banget.

Sebenernya yang namanya pergaulan bebas itu ya udh ada banget dari jaman entah kapan ya. Mau di Jakarta kek, mau di Bandung kek, mau di kota manapun (Duri sekalipun!) itu juga ya kalo manusia akhlaknya udah minus ya minus aja. Itu yang saya pahami. Tapii... di Jakarta ini yang namanya item putih itu udah ngga jelas lagi. Kalo ada kurva distribusi normal, most part of it falls in the grey area. Lo bisa bilang itu salah, bisa bilang bener, bisa 50-50, bisa "depends", dst..

Pasti, pasti ada alesan seseorang untuk bilang kalau tindakannnya itu "cukup" bener. Pembenaran lah bahasa lainnya.

Yang namanya marriage itu udah ilang nilai sakralnya (ya ngga smua sih, I'm just saying from what I've seen lately). Selingkuh, selingkuh pake hati, selingkuh fisik doank, temenan tapi mesra, udah kayak umum banget, semua nya pada sama-sama tutup mata. Lingkungannya tau, notice, ini mereka sama-sama punya spouse, atau salah satunya lah udah punya spouse - satunya single, dua-duaan, peluk-pelukan, (mungkin) ciuman dst di belakang, udah sama-sama "cukup tau" aja. No judgment (kecuali dari orang di luar circle itu tentunya), just purely having fun.

One of em told me something like this, "gw ngga selingkuh Shel.. gw ga pacaran,, gw ga nyari cinta. Cinta gw udah dapet dari bini gw. I'm attracted to someone, yes. But that's all. Purely physical, no more"

Another one told me more, "selama dia menjadi keluarga yang baik saat dia d rumah, kenapa ngga? Once he's at home, he's completely dedicated to them. 100%. Those flings kind of thing just for refreshment. Nothing more"

Gimana lo ngga jadi abu-abu sih nanggepinnya?

Kembali lagi kata gw, itu tergantung value masing-masing orang sih. Which you should have known, or at least have a sip of sign, what kind of person he/she was when you started knowing em.
Well it's not guaranteed since people change. By their community, their situation, problems, etc.

Gw tau sih gw nulis gini sebenernya gw ngga punya kesimpulan yang berarti juga :D

Kalo kata seseorang di masa lalu *ceilah*, "don't be stressed out too much bout life. afterall, it's just a life"

Take it easy, let it go, learn from it, move on, and don't fall into the same hole :)




Monday, March 17, 2014

I'm a Hybrid

I just realized I have always been one. Mulai dari kehidupan sekolah, kuliah, sampai sekarang kerja. It's not that it's something special, though somehow sometimes I'm kinda proud of it. At least I consider myself more open-minded. Though inside still judgmental yah... Yak yuk :p

Mulai dari background gw yang terlahir campuran. Bukan, bukan setengah bule kok ;p *ngarep itu sik*
I'm half Chinese from my dad and Manadonese from my mom. Dari kecil gw udah sekolah di sekolah katolik, yang mana mayoritas ya isinya anak-anak keturunan Cina, yang mana pada rasis juga. Tapi gw selalu berusaha blended in, gamau jadi objek rasisme itu. Kalo bisa ya jadi subjeknya, hahaha... Kasi bocoran aja ya.. Kalau di sekolah yang mayoritas isinya anak-anak Cina itu, kita pada suka rasis sama yang bukan Cina. We called them (the non-Chinese ones), Wana. Artinya kalau ngga salah sih, pribumi. Disingkat jadi 1A (one-a). Jadi kalau mau ngomongin di belakang, semacam seperti "dia kan 1A... iya ya...blabla..."
Oke jadi gw udah ngaku dosa soal hal itu ya.. Hehehe...

Lulus SMA gw masuk perguruan tinggi negri, yang udah diwanti-wanti sama bokap supaya gw ngga kaget nantinya sama lingkungan yang berbeda. Overall di sekolah negri ya lebih general komunitasnya. Dari yang ga punya sampe yang kaya banget juga ada. Dari yang alim banget sampe nakal banget ada. Dan pastinya yang namanya keturunan Chinese itu malah minoritas instead of mayoritas. Oh iya satu lagi, udah mah gw minoritas, agama gw juga minoritas. Nah! Ini yang beda banget sih. Kalo di jaman sekolah yang pada puasa harus nontonin yang ngga puasa pada makan, kalo pas kuliah yang ngga puasa harus sembunyi2 makannya. Kalau sebelumnya gw ngerasa sebagai kalangan mayoritas, di saat kuliah gw berasa minoritas banget. Ngga jarang temen-temen ada yang becanda ngomong "udah deh Shel, gw ajarin syahadat sekarang aja ya :D". Belum lagi ketemu dengan beberapa yang termasuk kalangan fanatik sempit. Gw langsung mikir, oh.. gini ya rasanya kalo jadi minoritas di sekolah gw yang sebelumnya. Which is still OK.

Talking about blended in, selama kuliah gw jadi merasa part of the "pribumi community" ini. Kalo sebelumnya ngeledekin "1A" di belakang, sekarang ikutan anak-anak becandain yang matanya sipit-sipit. Hehehehe... *peace ah*
Ada untungnya juga lahir "campuran", jadi kalo pada ngeledekin "lah lo pan Cina juga", jawabnya "gw Manado kali.."

Sekarang udah mulai kerja, I live in a two-sides of the world again. Apalagi namanya tinggal di Jakarta, yang ternyata, wow, wow aja deh pokonya. If you have the chance to reaalllyy live in this Jakarta, live the life, it's kinda awesome. Just be careful not to get dragged too deep into it.

I have colleagues friends who are soo so well behaved type of people. Need to be careful when talk to them about things cos they might judge you. Tipikal orang-orang yang married early 20s, have kids, have job, have their own house, etc.

Also I have "hanging out" friends who are so "party animals" kind of people. Some of them are so liberal that makes you think they are the "Sex in the City" type of people in the real world. But it doesn't mean I have to be like them. I'm just, I repeat, more open-minded. Life have to be balance at some point or you will end up craving for other's lives (and try to cover it up by judging them).

On the other side I have a family who are more into religious type of people. LOL. Diversity huh?

As the summary, office friends make me thinking more about my future, party friends make me loosen up more and enjoying my life, and family keeps me down to earth and still remember about my Creator.

Oh I almost forgot about my childhood bestfriends who will always be there for me. They are not too conservative or liberal. They are just as open minded as me. More to the "anak baik baik" side though. The only thing I know about them is, when life gets harder than I thought, it is to them I will eventually talk.

Afterall life is beautiful. You just need to live it to the fullest and keep being grateful about it :)



Sunday, February 2, 2014

Having Kids

I may look like I'm nganggur cos I keep posting things this morning. No, I'm not (defensif sendiri), it's just my work has been done. Halah..

Anyway postingan kali ini adalah suatu pikiran random yang datang tiba-tiba sekitar sehari dua hari lalu. About having kids. Now we all know most people in the world (normal ones) would want to have kids, sooner or later. I know a lady in my last trip, she's 39, and one time she asked her bf (at that time) to have a kid. Kasarannya, minta dibuahi. Waktu dia cerita ke saya, saya agak kaget ya. I mean, she's Indonesian, so it's not really common for you to ask someone to knock you up, without getting married. But I understand, she's nearly 40, and probably she didn't really think bout that anymore. Mungkin pikirannya, now or never. Dan selama gw masih mungkin punya anak, why not?

Which leads me to another thought. Kenapa sih orang segitu pengennya punya anak?
Kalo lo tanya gw, jawabannya:
1. Kids are cute and adorable, and I want one! at least
2. People want to learn or start having a big responsibility at one time of his/her life. And having kids is a huuggee responsibility indeed
3. Basic reason: pengen keturunan, pengen ada yang nerusin usaha dia atau apapun yang sudah dia dapatkan selama ini
4. You are in love with someone, and just want to have something that YOU and HIM/HER make together. Not only make together, you make it with love, and they will just look exactly the combination of you two. Can it be more cute than that? Not to mention you will raise em together, which most likely they will behave like you two.
5. While people say that romantic relationship or marriage can end at some point, your parents-kids relationship wouldn't. Ever. That's being said, once you have kids, you have them for the rest of your life. And isn't it good to have something/someone to love you unconditionally forever?

Daann... mungkin masih banyak alasan lainnya. Tapi, one thing bothered me. I can't find one single reason, I repeat, one single reason, that is not your personal needs. Do you get it? I mean, someone wants to have kids, for their own personal ego. Ngga mungkin kan orang pengen punya anak karna, let's say, they know their kids will be happy to be born. They wanted to be born. They grow up and say "thanks for letting me be part of the world". Nah, that's not gonna happen. Cause what? People are just born and HAVE TO DEAL with it. You were born and BOOM! Deal with it! Life is not easy at all. It may be fun at times, but, it's just not easy.

So when we realized that having kids are our personal ego, what should we do? I'd say do your best to prepare em for the world. And you won't be around em for too long. You were the one responsible for their existence in this world, which probably it's not their preference.

Huah,
dalem ya? Mayan lah ya. I don't even know why suddenly I thought bout it. Just my two cents ;)

I wanna miss u,

like I miss my coffee in the morning
Coffee Latte with vanilla syrup
which I miss before my bedtime comes
when I start thinking
"I will get to taste you tomorrow"
yes, tomorrow in the very early morning
imagining your warmth and bittersweetness
and I know
I know for sure
you will be right there for me

***

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

2013-2014

If I have to mark 2013 as "something", I'll mark it as year of BOYS and adventure. Oh and one more. Year where I start to experience the so called "quarter-life-crisis"

I was involved with 3 guys who all gave me pretty heartbreak. Well the first one gave the biggest one. Without explanation whatsoever. Yep. Until now. Gila ya dipikir2? Tapi ya sudahlah.
Second one was my rebound. But ended up leaving me. Cause he didn't want to date a girl who (at that time) still in a relationship (walopun gajelas statusnya) dan masih ngarepin si cowo eta (yaeyalah scara gw cinta mati sama yang pertama). But know what? I ended up being a really good friends with this second guy. Cause we were somehow together for a while (really brief actually. 2 weeks. lol), so he knows me so well. He advises me things like a big brother. Protective and caring. He was the one warned me when I was close with the third one. I didn't listen. And turned out he was RIGHT 100%. So now I told him "I would listen to u after this since you were so right".
Third one was not a rebound anymore. But I really liked him. I was actually in Lala Land (as always), he was too. But he realized earlier than me, which leaving me hurt. And felt betrayed. Tho I know he didn't mean it. He is just a guy. Who is not for me. Period.

So that's about guys in 2013. Which is pretty funny actually, cause before that I was single (still dating but nothing meaningful) for +-3years, and the reason I was back on the track was because I wanted to feel the roller-coaster feeling again. Arghhh... Now enough with that! LOL. Ampondije pokoknya...

Adventure: note few holiday romance. Bali twice with different stories. Jakarta nightlife. Met new people. NZ and OZ for the very first time. Skydive (bucket list item) experience. Another holiday romance (supposedly) which turned to be a solo travelling on year end. Not so impressive in working-life wise, which I'm going to fix in 2014. Amen. Wish me luck! :)

(another) story of broken heart

yea I know...
same old story. LOL.

It's kinda good though, now I can tell that I'm one step closer to the right one. Probably?

Good thing also that it didn't go for too long to cause a severe brokenheart. I was just upset, a bit. Not much.
I don't hate him. I was just disappointed. Afterall there's a lesson learn from all of the guys I was involved to.
Don't give in. Don't buy every words he said. Take a note! With Bold Letters!

I'm not really in the mood to tell the whole story. But the primary excuses were:
Can't do LDR (of course. who can? well I can. not them)
So many differences (mostly discovered while we see each other in person)
There's another girl (sucks huh? well not everything goes as what you want. Welcome to LIFE)

It's OK though.

Keep having the faith.

Meanwhile, let's focus on career!