I remember

couple of years ago, I got so heartbroken that I wanted to die. Yep, it was that hurtful. I remember every single days I was just trying to sleep and wake up realizing everything was a dream. Of course it wasn't. I remember I was reaaalllyy hoping we could get back together that I would do anything for that to happen. Regretting everything I'd done that I wish I could have fixed that.

My current guy told me, " I don't think what you experienced was love. I think I am the only guy you ever loved". LOL so confident! But he was saying that not in a joking way. He was being serious.

He probably is right, I don't know. Whether it was love or just infatuation, I remember the pain very clearly. Yet, we never got tired of hurting ourself by falling in love over and over again, did we? I think human in general are masochists! ;p

...

"why do you want to do it for me then? Wouldn't you feel less happy because that is not, you?"
"but I'm always happy when I'm with you. I won't feel less happy..I'm doing it for you.. for you.. it is for you"

I am lucky

He said, "we are so lucky.. to have each other"

I say, I am lucky.. I have you. You are the best love I have ever had. Period

Feeling Loved

can be as simple as, getting a phone call from my lover (went into voicemail) that actually only him wanting to share his opinion about life that just came to his mind.

Call me a hopeless romantic, but I found it pretty sweet, really :)

Two things

Now I realized what I really, REALLY want in life.

1. Love
2. Money

That's it. Cannot really survive for a long time without two of those things!

Belajar

Sejujurnya, saya ini bukan orang yang bener-bener maniak belajar. Hell, duh, of course. Some people might think, what am I pursuing? Why are you so interested in studying? And some people will be just, really into studying, I guess.

For me personally, I like it when I know better. And I will be so insulted, if people think I know nothing. Somehow. And by knowing more than others, you feel empowered. Of course. It's like you have money, only it is not, but it's a knowledge not all people know about.

I just took several classes that are considered as pretty hard and a lot of work. And I'm more than happy to take it. Like, hello? This is the only chance I'd ever learn from these great people. The funny thing is, one of the class is called 2D Structural Seismic Interpretation which supposedly have been taught by my undergrad school. Not to mention I have worked on that kind of thing for almost 5 years. And what? I just really learned about it, NOW. Ironic. Most likely because now I know better why it is important. Second is because they just teach it in a lot better way. I'm not exaggerating things here.

Anywaay, some of the people I know here would try to avoid some "hard" classes just because they want to relax and get good grades from "easier" class. I just cannot understand that.

Sorry if it kinda sounds cocky, though. Didn't mean to. LOL

Mi Amor

OK several days ago I might have written dramatic posts on this blog about my love. Which was true, our situation is not ideal at all. The only ideal thing is, we do love each other very very much, that's all I can say. I might be annoyed sometimes by a lot of things, about him, but the truth is, he never (ever) did something mean to me. Like, never. Even at my worst behaviour (or maybe not "worst" but I think I was being a little bit over the top), he was still very loving and patient in handling me.

I don't know what the future holds, but, I really wish I would grow old with someone as loving as he is to me...