The Talk

H: If you ever end up marrying me, you should learn how to cook for yourself. If you don't like my cook
S: I want to cook. As long as there's a maid. So I can tell her "cut this cut that, clean this clean that"
H: What if I take you to US and the maid pay is so high
S: Err..
H: You haven't thought about it, have you

S: Menyebalkan! (hugging)
H: What is that? Pain in the ass?
S: Yess
H: See, I figured it out

S: I bet you already fall asleep
H: Nah. I'm eating now
S: Watermelon?
H: Jaruk
S: Lol. That's cute

H: Why did we not cross path earlier?
S: What do you mean? Why didn't we meet earlier?
H: Yes
S: I knew you. I saw you in some HES Meetings before. What, you never noticed me before? T_T
H: Lol

S: But seriously, you didn't even know my name when the first time you talked to me?
H: Now I remember I saw you before. I didn't know your name, but I didn't want to ask anyone. It's none of their business, who I like and who I don't like

Good Stuffs

You know, sometimes I'm afraid to write about something that made me really happy, cause I'm afraid one day I will be so sad and reading the old good stuffs will just make me even more sad.

Does it make sense?

Maybe.

Well but I just can't help but saying that right now I'm so happy.

Not saying it will be long lasting though I really hope so.

Sometimes I just think, seriously, how can I not love you?

*tsah
*geuleuh.

Dua ribu dua belas

Mumpung lagi nganggur di kantor, saya mau rekap taun ini ah..

Ya walopun masi ada 1 bulan lagi sih, which bisa banyak hal terjadi sebelom bener2 taun baru, entah sedih entah senang. Mudah2an seneng terus lah ya :)

Saya masi ingat ketika menulis rekap taun 2011 , dan resolusi 2012 saya merasa 2011 itu sudah sangaat banyak kejutan dan sangat berarti buat saya. Nah skarang, 2012? Man, all I can say, it must have been the best year for me so far.

Kalo taun 2011 tuh saya masih agak merana karna ga bisa ambil cuti, 2012 ini saya menggila dengan cuti. Haha.. gimana ngga? Setaun bo ga libur sama skali (ga deng, ada libur sminggu yang sebenernya buat pindahan tapi malah saya pake jalan2), ya jelas di 2012 ini jatah 25 hari cuti saya hambur2kan sepuas hati.

Sedikit mengutip resolusi saya taun kmarin untuk 2012:

Jadi oh jadi.. mungkin saya mau brainstorming sedikit tentang apa resolusi atau "bayangan" saya untuk tahun 2012:
1. Dari segi karir, tentunya ingin belajar lebih banyak lagi mengenai keilmuan ini. Bayangan saya adalah, lebih terlibat dalam project, ke lapangan lagi tentunya (dan inginnya).
2. Mulai melancarkan rencana saya untuk sekolah, dengan memulai tes TOEFL (mutusin untuk mulai itu suseeehhh yee...)
3. Travelling. Tahun depan targetnya 3x (kalo ada yang nemenin dan urusan lancar). 
4. Kalo dari segi ke-kosmetik-an, udah ga ada yang pengen2 banget saya coba. Berat badan udah dikontrol di 2011 (gym seminggu 3x), perawatan muka udah dicoba di 2011 (yang ujung2nya bikin nyesel karna kurang berpuas diri), ekstensi bulu mata udah nyoba (baguuuss sihhh, tapi males maintainnya, capeek). Kalo dibilang sama orang kantor, "Sheila ini apalagi yang belom dicoba?", "Err.. aku sih pengen nyoba ektensi rambut mbak". So we'll see if I ever do it in the future ;p
5. Mau nyoba panjangin poni, gara2 baca majalah yang bilang, "penampilan lo jangan gitu2 aja. Minimal ganti poni. Kalo biasanya pendek, skarang dipanjangin". Well, we'll see
6. Pengennya sih belajar bahasa (spanyol), tapi mengingat waktu, kok ya rada males :p

And what happened so far?
1. Segi karir. Hmm.. quite impressive for me since this year I got 2 achievements for 2 projects yang salah satunya membawa saya ke Amerika (kadang saya masih ngga percaya saya beneran bisa kesana dan dibayarin ). Walopun pada akhirnya saya skarang agak jenuh di team yang sekarang dan akhirnya memutuskan untuk pindah team! Eh malah pindah department juga. Dari yang dulunya development, jadi eksplorasi. Smoga bisa smakin semangat untuk kedepannya :) Dan ohiya, saya udah mo 2 tahun aja nih kerja di tempat yang sekarang. Ga kerasa bangett huhu
2. Yeah.. Melancarkan rencana my ass! Hahaha.. saya sama sekali blom nyiapin apa2 di bagian ini. Palingan cuma belajar2 bahasa Inggris lebih lagi, supaya pede ntar pas ambil TOEFL
3. Kalo mo dibilang mana resolusi saya yang paling sukses terlaksana? Ya travelling! Awalnya cuma nargetin 3x (maruk, I know). Tapi ternyata kesampean Jepang di bulan Maret, Turki di bulan Mei, Amerika di bulan Agustus, dan Korea di bulan November kemarin. Hiks. Thanks God. Walopun hasil dari ini adalah, saya ga bisa nabuunngg!!!! Bahahaha.. Jadi ntar 2013 saya mo slow down lah ga maruk kek gini lagi.
4. Well, taun ini mungkin taun saya paling sering potong rambut. Sempet bikin poni lurus ke depan yang dikata2in orang "pontol" alias "poni tolol". Terus nyoba dipanjangin tapi hasilnya jadi lepek2 mulu. Trakhir kali bbrp hari lalu saya babat sampe tinggal pendek bob ala Vic Beckham gitu *tsaelah*. Untungnya saya cocok ma yang terakhir ini :') Oh iya, nyobain Waxing juga yang bikin saya keranjingan karna ternyata bulu itu jangan dicukur ato diilangin pake krim. Numbuhnya makin tebel dan banyak! Setelah nyoba waxing macem2 (brazillian, underarm, halfleg) saya ketagihaaan! Numbuhnya jadi bagus aja gitu hehehe
5. Ini gajelas resolusinya. Ga penting. Hahahah dan ga kesampean juga karna bikin saya makin kusam dan ga bergairah. Halah
6. Ini pastinya gak kelaksana. Gatau deh kapan. Heuh

Eh baru sadar saya teh ngga ngeresolusi tentang Jodoh yeuh. Hahaha.. Emang udah putus asa kali ya taun lalu. Tapi di akhir2 taun ini ternyata, I met someone :')

I don't know where's this going, since I'm still trying to know about him more. All I know that, this is something :)

Yaudah sekian dulu untuk review taun ini. Mungkin nanti kalo sempet saya mau nulis review lainnya ttg 2012, atau resolusi 2013 ;)

Sensitive

Kemarin saya les bahasa Inggris dan ngebahas tentang adjective gitu deh.

Lalu ngebahas tentang kata "sensitive", yang kalo kata teachernya: "easy to get hurt" or "easy to hurt"
Bahasa Indonesianya, "gampang tersakiti" atau "gampang buat disakitin orang" *apa deh ribet

Intinya, saya pagi ini jadi mikir tentang itu. Ga penting banget ya? Mbok ya mikir tu kerjaan, politik, bisnis, ato apalah buat membangun bangsa *ngeracau

Nah saya mikir, kenapa kita harus jadi sensitive person? Terutama cewe-cewe ye bo. Kalo pacar/pasangannya melakukan ssuatu yang ga sesuai harapan. Atau justru TIDAK melakukan ssuatu yang kita harapkan, trus kita jadi sebel. Hurt. Irritated. Dissapointed.

Yang mana lalu saya pikir lagi, ngapain ya kayak gitu? Why can't I be strong enough to not letting someone hurt me? How? Ya mungkin dengan berpikir, "screw it. I don't care. That's not a big deal. That's your problem, not mine. "

In other words, kalo saya membiarkan diri saya menjadi seseorang yang sensitif dan easy to get hurt, I lose.

Easy to say, huh

Masalah ?

Pernah ngga sih, sangking ga ada masalah dalam idup lo, sampe jadi nyari2 masalah sendiri?

Kadang saya mikir kayak gitu sih.

Kalo saya lagi galau tuh, pasti gak lain dan gak bukan adalah tentang: Cowo.

I know. LOL. So not important, maybe some of you will say that.

I wish I felt the same way too..

Kadang kalo udah galou gitu, saya jadi mikir: Hey Sheil, penting amat si masalah idup lo!!!

Liat tu masi banyak orang ga bisa makan, ga punya kerja, ga punya keluarga (mungkin), dan ekstremnya - having some dissabilities, dll.. dll.. and all that stuck in your mind is: finding Mr. Right?!

LOL.

I know it's silly..

Tapi ya mo gimana lagi.. emang itu satu2nya masalah yang mengusik idup gue "-__-

Oiya again, ngomongin soal cowo, taun depan keknya kk saya mo merit. Dan kmaren kita berdua ngbrol2 (fyi dia cowo), kalo pada intinya merit/relationship itu masalahnya biasanya adalah:
- finansial
- perhatian/komunikasi

Udah, itu deh yang utama. Dipikir2 iya juga sih.. Kadang lo merit sama orang yang udah mapaaaan banget. Ga usah pusing deh mikirin duit, dia punya banyak. Tapi, dianya kurang perhatian. Jadinya nyari perhatian ke orang lain.. Berujung selingkuh.

Kadang ni duaan cintaaaa banget satu sama lain. Tapi lama2 kok ya duit berbicara ya? Ada cewe/istri yang ngerasa, "cowo/suami gue ini becus ga sih jadi laki? Kok gini2 aja kayaknya". Trus jadi menyinggung sisi kejantanannya deh, dst..dst... >>ini sih yang saya perhatiin dari orang2 skitar skaligus brita2 di tipi.

Tapi ada juga sih pasangan yang kayaknya co cuit banget mo udah tua skalipun. Hiks. Mau kayak gitu juga :'(

Kalo si doi yang skrg tipe yang pertama. Duit banyak, perhatian kurang. Hadeuh. *eh curcol deh gue :p

PayPhone

I’m at a pay phone tryin’ to call home, all of my change I spent on youWhere have the times gone, baby it’s all wrong, where are the plans we made for twoYeah, I, I know it’s hard to remember, the people we used to beIt’s even harder to picture that you’re not here next to meYou say it’s too late to make it, but is it too late to tryAnd in that time that you wasted, all of our bridges burned downI’ve wasted my nights, you turned out the lights, now I’m paralyzed, still stuck in that time, when we calledit love, but even the sun sets in paradise
I’m at a pay phone tryin’ to call home, all of my change I spent on youWhere have the times gone, baby it’s all wrong, where are the plans we made for twoIf happy ever afters did exist, I would still be holding you like thisAll those fairy tales are full of shitOne more fucking love song I’ll be sickOh, you turned your back on tomorrow ‘cause you forgot yesterdayI gave you my love to borrow, but you just gave it awayYou can’t expect me to be fine, I don’t expect you to careI know I said it before, but all of our bridges burned downI’ve wasted my nights, you turned out the lights, now I’m paralyzed, still stuck in that time, when we calledit love, but even the sun sets in paradise
I’m at a pay phone tryin’ to call home, all of my change I spent on youWhere have the times gone, baby it’s all wrong, where are the plans we made for twoIf happy ever afters did exist, I would still be holding you like thisAnd all those fairy tales are full of shitOne more fucking love song I’ll be sickNow I’m at a pay phone
Man fuck that shitI’ll be out spending all this money while you’re sittin’ round wondering why it wasn’t you who came upfrom nothin’Made it from the bottom now when you see me I’m stuntin’And all of my cars start with a push of a buttonTelling me I changed since I blew up or whatever you call itSwitch the number to my phone so you never could call itDon’t need my name on my shirt, you can tell that I’m ballinSwish, what a shame could of got pickedHad a really good game but you missed your last shot, so you talk about who you see at the top or what youcould of saw but sad to say it’s over forPhantom pulled up valet open doorsWished I’d go away got what you was lookin forNow it’s me who they want so you can go and take that little piece of shit with you
Yeah, I’m at a pay phone tryin’ to call home, all of my change I spent on youWhere have the times gone, baby it’s all wrong, where are the plans we made for twoIf happy ever afters did exist, I would still be holding you like thisAnd all these fairy tales are full of shitYeah, one more fucking love song I’ll be sickNow I’m at a pay phone

The One and Only Thing

that makes you:
- dumb
- super happy sometimes
- super sad sometimes
- mellow
- romantic
- insecure
- giggle
- pathetic
- cry
- laugh out loud
- dumb (again)
- super dumb

u know what it is

and I'm not sure whether I like this feeling or not

maybe I like it

I just don't like the after-effects