Thanksgiving

So Thanksgiving holiday is over.. We had a blast for a little bit more than a week in Elgin. Most days we spent by playing cards together (as always with BF's family), cooking, eating. BF's sister is really good at keeping our stomach full all the time. In the morning she will already prepare breakfast and everything. I'm so so so happy. My BF was always sweet all the time as always.

Returning to Colorado, however, makes my heart uneasy. Somehow I feel my love for him has become overwhelming and my insecurity was just heighten like you won't believe. There were some things that annoyed me, although it happened couple of months ago (which at that time we were not in a "committed relationship") that I just found out. It is supposedly insignificant, cos it happened quite some time ago, and to be fair, I was involved with someone else too around that time. But in particular, I am just the most jealous GF you would ever be with, perhaps. Or maybe not. I know several people (of course Indonesian) that are crazier than me in terms of jealousy.. But yea.. basically I am that hardcore if you talk about jealousy.

Anywaay... long story shorts, it was bothering me every now and then... And last night I was being so drama towards my lovely BF. Most of the times he was just incredibly sweet in responding my emotional judgment. But I somehow still pushed him to show me that he loves me more than he does, you know. Yea I'm that insecure and needing assurance every now and then.

We talked and talked almost for 2 hours, which at one point I was happy and assured already, until I was not. I was becoming more and more annoying, pushing him and kinda "testing his boundaries". It ended up pretty late (1 am his timezone) so he just said,"I cannot talk about this anymore. It is pretty late.. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow".
We just then said "night" without any "love you" whatsoever lol.

This morning I woke up with his email that is again trying to reassure me that we have a wonderful relationship and he is trying to do his best. I was still bit annoyed and such but of course I couldn't help but calling him and we ended up being lovey dovey again. In summary, I really really feel grateful for having him as my BF other than anybody else. Believe me he is far from perfect, but he is perfect enough to cope with my "craziness" and "immaturity".

Oh well... that's about it!