I was reading some random funny stories about people saying "I love you" for the first time. It may sound like a small deal for some people, but really, for some others, it is not. Especially in the "western" world where it's pretty different in a lot of ways, I think.
Anyway, I have been dating some guys that are not Indonesian and I think it never really got to the point of seriousness that they said "I love you" except my current BF. It is pretty interesting. Even my ex that I was with for about 9 months, never said "I love you". Neither did I to him. I mean of course I loved him, but I was too terrified to initiate it. And he's always so weird that I was never really convinced that he was being real to me, you know. Now that I found a guy that genuinely loves me, I become even more sure that my ex never really loved me. Oh well, who cares now?
But it reminds me the first time my BF told me he loved me was during our phone call, probably 2-3 months after we knew each other. We always told "I miss you" to each other, at least that was what I think very acceptable at that point. So one time when he was ending our phone call, he said, "okay baby.. love you..." to which I replied with "bye..". LOL.
I was too surprised probably and wasn't expecting that at all. I thought the first time you said it at least you need some "moments", you know. Like looking at each others' eyes and etc.. Anyway after that he never said that anymore until my visit to Austin (2nd time) not long after the phone call. He was about to go to work and again he was saying goodbye and said "love you baby..".
And that was when I realized, oh you're saying that to me, not just because you slipped or something. Hahaha... Cause honestly during the "phone call" I thought he was mistaken me to his mother because I always heard him saying "love you" everytime he was ending his conversation with his mom.
Well, after the 2nd time he said that (again, in a moment where he was doing it casually rather than meaningful moments), I was then thinking, "man how do I reciprocate this??". Hahaha... cause I was not used to it at all. I was very insecure for so long because nobody really said it genuinely.. I mean my very first BF even said "aku sayang, bukan cinta", and I was like "WTF?!" Hahahaha... The perk of being an Indonesian probably. If it was said by the westerner probably would be "I care about you but I don't love you". But wait, isn't "sayang" supposedly "love"? Oh well, who cares now?
So yea, back to the time I was thinking how to reciprocate that. I think that part was a bit funny too. I think I was thinking about it too hard several times that the words couldn't just come out easily. A lot of times it ended up being a whisper and I'm not sure now if he heard that LOLOL. So basically I don't really remember my real first time saying that. But I remember we were "partying" a little bit during my visit at that time and I got quite drunk that during the night I probably said "I love you" hundred times to him. Haha.. The next day when I returned to Colorado I called him and said "I forgot what I said but I remember I said I love you like million times to you"
Him: "oh yea you did (cheeky smile that I could clearly sense from my end)"
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