So.... I finally made a few friends! The amazing thing about it is that we are all about the same age (28-29) and we are all single LOL! Crazy huh? Single means we are not married and even if some of us (including me) have some sort of "someone" in our lives, it's not a too committed one. The point is, we are all just as single as it can be in Bakersfield! LOL. I like it because we are all trapped here and we are all fun and excited and full of energy. So, no choice other than trying to be friends with each other and make plans. Awesome huh?
So far we have hung out once in a restaurant/bar and attended our friend's, Pooja's birthday. Honestly Pooja is the glue of everyone maybe. Or one of the glue. I met Pooja at the gym just ONCE lol, can you believe it. And she already invited me to her birthday night. Twice. So I met Jennifer, which is Pooja's coworker. Jennifer lives with her bestfriend since many years ago, Doreen. Both Jennifer and Doreen met Michelle from hiking event, and Michelle works at oil and gas industry too. LMAO. Whatta world.
And I also met some other girls but not sure if we will hang out with them more or not. Haven't had any plans. But the point is, now I know what to do and with who. We already think about doing more hiking and salsa and zumba together :)
Hopefully it will be as fun as I hope. Fingers crossed for a more fun life in Bako!
Sunday, February 25, 2018
Thursday, February 8, 2018
Update + making friends
Hello hello... it has been a little over a month since I started my new life in Bakersfield... One positive thing in my life is: dude I just keep on making money. Like... seriously. It's only been a month and I already make something that would take me 4 years in Indonesia. LOL. Thanks to sign-on bonus and tax returns I just got. It may sound exaggerated, but it is pretty comparable to what I had in my savings when I left Indonesia. Andd... to be noted, that money I saved during 4.5 yr work in Indonesia also already done... finished. Cos I had to use it when I needed money for my life during school time. Plus, all the gold bars that I bought, already sold everything. I was that broke, man..
It's pretty funny and true when people said that wealth and money is very temporary. It can come and go anytime. But my finance has been pretty good lately. I didn't even need to touch any of my pension money from Indonesia (when I left CVX). Anndd... my apartment in Jakarta keeps on getting new renters. Pretty awesome.
Should sound like a perfect life, huh?
Well.. not so much, cos ain't nobody has a perfect life. Or actually.... it depends on how you look at it. Haha.. It may be that I'm just an ungrateful person, impatient, you name it. One thing that I'd been struggling since I came to the US is the thing about making friends. Dude it was already hard in Colorado. I did have friends that I could have lunch with and such. But... I didn't really have friends I could go shopping with, go to salon with, had deep conversation or even the most ridiculous conversation ever, etc. But at least they were friends... I went eating with them. YET I still complained during that time, remember?!
You know what... It is pretty much worse now. Much more worse hahahaha.... During the Summer I was in Bako, I had my intern friends which I hung out with at least once a week. That was pretty satisfying. But now those intern friends are not all getting hired by the company. And those who ended up getting hired, were pretty shitty friends lol. I actually tried to ask em to hangout and I was just being ignored. What about co-workers? Well... everybody but one person are married guys. I'm not even joking. You don't want to hangout with bunch of married guys, especially when you're single. And live in a small city. LOL. Now I actually realize something about myself. I REALLY NEED FRIENDS.
There was a time in Indonesia (specifically in Jakarta) when I kinda felt lonely, but I didn't care that much, cos I always had friends. I could always hang out anytime I wanted to. I was just picky, you know. Snobby me. Well... I think God plays with me now. "Girl now you need to feel how it's like when you are the one that have to work to make friends." Oh.My.Gawd. I completely need to get out of my comfort zone. Need to be more friendly with people. Putting my self "out there". Be more kind. More patient. Less sensitive. Try to be OK with some type of rejections. Not like obvious rejections. But you know how it feels like, when people are not really wanting to hang out with you that much. You know.
I think there is a really fine line in making friends in your late 20s, and above that age. Like... you need to be friendly enough and open to anyone. And like... casual... not too self conscious or shy or socially awkward. But also, need to be so aware if you're being too forward, or clingy, or needy. Cos nobody likes that type of people to befriend with, especially during the early stage of friendship. Gosh I totally remember the time I WAS the person who felt like people had been trying too much to be my friend. HAHAHAHA... AND I TOOK THEM FOR GRANTED.
Again.. this is Karma, dude.
Oh well... at least I now learn something about myself, and at least I can grow more as a person (hopefully).
And let's not forget that I can always buy anything I want at the moment. THANK YOU GOD, sincerely. Seriously. At least one thing to not worry about in life.
It's pretty funny and true when people said that wealth and money is very temporary. It can come and go anytime. But my finance has been pretty good lately. I didn't even need to touch any of my pension money from Indonesia (when I left CVX). Anndd... my apartment in Jakarta keeps on getting new renters. Pretty awesome.
Should sound like a perfect life, huh?
Well.. not so much, cos ain't nobody has a perfect life. Or actually.... it depends on how you look at it. Haha.. It may be that I'm just an ungrateful person, impatient, you name it. One thing that I'd been struggling since I came to the US is the thing about making friends. Dude it was already hard in Colorado. I did have friends that I could have lunch with and such. But... I didn't really have friends I could go shopping with, go to salon with, had deep conversation or even the most ridiculous conversation ever, etc. But at least they were friends... I went eating with them. YET I still complained during that time, remember?!
You know what... It is pretty much worse now. Much more worse hahahaha.... During the Summer I was in Bako, I had my intern friends which I hung out with at least once a week. That was pretty satisfying. But now those intern friends are not all getting hired by the company. And those who ended up getting hired, were pretty shitty friends lol. I actually tried to ask em to hangout and I was just being ignored. What about co-workers? Well... everybody but one person are married guys. I'm not even joking. You don't want to hangout with bunch of married guys, especially when you're single. And live in a small city. LOL. Now I actually realize something about myself. I REALLY NEED FRIENDS.
There was a time in Indonesia (specifically in Jakarta) when I kinda felt lonely, but I didn't care that much, cos I always had friends. I could always hang out anytime I wanted to. I was just picky, you know. Snobby me. Well... I think God plays with me now. "Girl now you need to feel how it's like when you are the one that have to work to make friends." Oh.My.Gawd. I completely need to get out of my comfort zone. Need to be more friendly with people. Putting my self "out there". Be more kind. More patient. Less sensitive. Try to be OK with some type of rejections. Not like obvious rejections. But you know how it feels like, when people are not really wanting to hang out with you that much. You know.
I think there is a really fine line in making friends in your late 20s, and above that age. Like... you need to be friendly enough and open to anyone. And like... casual... not too self conscious or shy or socially awkward. But also, need to be so aware if you're being too forward, or clingy, or needy. Cos nobody likes that type of people to befriend with, especially during the early stage of friendship. Gosh I totally remember the time I WAS the person who felt like people had been trying too much to be my friend. HAHAHAHA... AND I TOOK THEM FOR GRANTED.
Again.. this is Karma, dude.
Oh well... at least I now learn something about myself, and at least I can grow more as a person (hopefully).
And let's not forget that I can always buy anything I want at the moment. THANK YOU GOD, sincerely. Seriously. At least one thing to not worry about in life.
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Harder than it looks like
It is good to be inspired by people, but remember that all the nice things you see (a.k.a the result) is a product of a very very hard work. Nothing comes easy.
When people see me getting a nice job now, live in a nice apartment, etc, that wasn't easy bro.
To list the things that took me to get to this point:
- I sacrificed my full-time job with a multi-national company that is considered one of the biggest in the world
- I left my country, my comfort zone, family, friends
- I actually took my saving plan from the company, that ultimately made me lost the company contribution to my savings. Meaning: of my savings plan, I lost half of the money bcos I took it earlier than it's supposed to be. I also sold some of my assets (not that much lol), just to help me living.
- I lived in the U.S, working on my Master's with SOOO limited income. I can barely imagine how I could live like that for 2 yrs lololol.
- I totally had to make new friends (which was never too successful)
- Sacrificed the need to eat all the good food (trust me this was harddd)
- I basically was on my own. No help from anybody. Well, there were some supports here and there but not significant
- I had to do all required processes using my own finance. There were a lot of moments where I doubt this all will work out eventually.
Anyway,
it just somewhat irritates me when people complain about how difficult it is and then gave up. Oh well, that's their life to begin with. But I feel like telling em, "dude. it was never easy for me, either. So quit whining and just work your ass off".
If there's somebody that totally helps a lot with the process, maybe one of my professor. Not only that he gave me full scholarship and stipend, he also applied another scholarship for me that allowed me to extend one more semester in the school. That then led me to be able to do internship and such and such. But other than that, in order to survive, I had to also work part time job in school. Wowtsah..
That's good, tho. It's good to survive yourself when nobody could help you. Cos what?
Then nobody can claim that they were behind your own success.
When people see me getting a nice job now, live in a nice apartment, etc, that wasn't easy bro.
To list the things that took me to get to this point:
- I sacrificed my full-time job with a multi-national company that is considered one of the biggest in the world
- I left my country, my comfort zone, family, friends
- I actually took my saving plan from the company, that ultimately made me lost the company contribution to my savings. Meaning: of my savings plan, I lost half of the money bcos I took it earlier than it's supposed to be. I also sold some of my assets (not that much lol), just to help me living.
- I lived in the U.S, working on my Master's with SOOO limited income. I can barely imagine how I could live like that for 2 yrs lololol.
- I totally had to make new friends (which was never too successful)
- Sacrificed the need to eat all the good food (trust me this was harddd)
- I basically was on my own. No help from anybody. Well, there were some supports here and there but not significant
- I had to do all required processes using my own finance. There were a lot of moments where I doubt this all will work out eventually.
Anyway,
it just somewhat irritates me when people complain about how difficult it is and then gave up. Oh well, that's their life to begin with. But I feel like telling em, "dude. it was never easy for me, either. So quit whining and just work your ass off".
If there's somebody that totally helps a lot with the process, maybe one of my professor. Not only that he gave me full scholarship and stipend, he also applied another scholarship for me that allowed me to extend one more semester in the school. That then led me to be able to do internship and such and such. But other than that, in order to survive, I had to also work part time job in school. Wowtsah..
That's good, tho. It's good to survive yourself when nobody could help you. Cos what?
Then nobody can claim that they were behind your own success.
Tuesday, January 2, 2018
2017 Summary
2017 was a bitter sweet year. I don't really want to talk a lot about my relationship that went up and down so much this past year. That was probably the most hurt experience I have ever had. Eventually that led me to work my ass off more on my school, which actually paid back. I nailed a Summer Internship. A very very VERY hard thing to achieve, especially at that time the oil price was still considerably low. I did very well on the internship which then also led me to get a full-time offer. BUT. I needed to graduate and earn my Masters first. So I (again) worked my ass off and finished!
This year I achieved a lot of things in terms of career and school. Which frankly was my ultimate goal anyway. Relationship wise, was pretty hurtful, but,.. it is what it is. We're still together, although I'm not very strongly sure anymore that it will last.
Now I'm moved to new state, new city, new apartment. Definitely more fancy life, but also a lot more responsibility. Adult time!
2017 was also the last year I got to be 20 something, so I got a tattoo and a badass piercing lololol...
Please be nice to me, 2018 :)
This year I achieved a lot of things in terms of career and school. Which frankly was my ultimate goal anyway. Relationship wise, was pretty hurtful, but,.. it is what it is. We're still together, although I'm not very strongly sure anymore that it will last.
Now I'm moved to new state, new city, new apartment. Definitely more fancy life, but also a lot more responsibility. Adult time!
2017 was also the last year I got to be 20 something, so I got a tattoo and a badass piercing lololol...
Please be nice to me, 2018 :)
Monday, December 11, 2017
Giving
I feel bad about myself for having a "burden" feelings more when I spend money on somebody else, compared to if I would have spent it on myself. Have you ever felt that way too? For example, when I am looking to buy a gift for my friends or family, as much as I want to buy those things for them, if it was rather expensive, I'd think about it over and over again, and justify it inside my head, "That's OK, the person receiving it will be very happy". That's the whole point. The assurance that that particular person will be happy for receiving the gift, is the only reason that is worth the money.
Different story if I spend the money for myself. Well, I have to have enough money too, of course. But it would be easier. When I like something or want something done to me, I'd have no second thought. I enjoy myself giving such treat to me. Yes, me. It is all about me. Do I really love myself that much?
Anyway... lately I've been spending so much money, regardless no "big income" like I used to get when I did my internship. Heck, those moments were like 4 months ago. And here I am still splurging like there's no tomorrow. I'm currently in Austin with my so called BF (for 3 weeks now) and all I have been doing is spending money like a tourist. Lately also I have been browsing furniture (mainly mattress and sofa) for my new apartment in Bakersfield. It's crazy how expensive it can be and I even sorta plan to buy the high end one. I think this is an euphoria effect. I just changed my mind, though. I will still buy a good one, but not the best one. Too crazy to spend money on that kind of things. Heck, I should save more money, not keep on spending it!
I kept also reminding myself and cheering myself, there is a salary, sign-on bonus, and tax return that I will get early next year (~1month). So I shouldn't be too worried. LOL. Excuse, excuse! My credit score (at the bank) is getting lower now due to my spending (with lesser income). But you know what, there are more people that are really bad in their finance, compared to me (another excuse!).
I remember the first month I did my internship, a fellow intern of mine (an LA girl) paid off her credit card balance which left her have no more money left lolololol... That's so crazy. I said to her, "we all got the allowance, right? That's a lot of money!". But she said everything goes to the credit card payment. Lol. Gosh whata girl.
Anyways, I just bought something for someone and I just felt glad I did despite the pretty high price. Afterall, it's a Christmas season, a season of giving :)
Different story if I spend the money for myself. Well, I have to have enough money too, of course. But it would be easier. When I like something or want something done to me, I'd have no second thought. I enjoy myself giving such treat to me. Yes, me. It is all about me. Do I really love myself that much?
Anyway... lately I've been spending so much money, regardless no "big income" like I used to get when I did my internship. Heck, those moments were like 4 months ago. And here I am still splurging like there's no tomorrow. I'm currently in Austin with my so called BF (for 3 weeks now) and all I have been doing is spending money like a tourist. Lately also I have been browsing furniture (mainly mattress and sofa) for my new apartment in Bakersfield. It's crazy how expensive it can be and I even sorta plan to buy the high end one. I think this is an euphoria effect. I just changed my mind, though. I will still buy a good one, but not the best one. Too crazy to spend money on that kind of things. Heck, I should save more money, not keep on spending it!
I kept also reminding myself and cheering myself, there is a salary, sign-on bonus, and tax return that I will get early next year (~1month). So I shouldn't be too worried. LOL. Excuse, excuse! My credit score (at the bank) is getting lower now due to my spending (with lesser income). But you know what, there are more people that are really bad in their finance, compared to me (another excuse!).
I remember the first month I did my internship, a fellow intern of mine (an LA girl) paid off her credit card balance which left her have no more money left lolololol... That's so crazy. I said to her, "we all got the allowance, right? That's a lot of money!". But she said everything goes to the credit card payment. Lol. Gosh whata girl.
Anyways, I just bought something for someone and I just felt glad I did despite the pretty high price. Afterall, it's a Christmas season, a season of giving :)
Sunday, November 12, 2017
Finally finished it
3 days ago, I passed my Master's thesis defense. When that happened, it felt surreal. Happiness didn't really kick in until recently. Looking back, it has been pretty crazy, you know. I know some people might experience an even harder one, bcause some of them have other responsibilities outside the study itself, such as having a family to take care of, etc. I have been just by myself all this time, although yes, I have told my story about being so struggling here when I didn't have enough money most times.
The other hard parts are when oil price is low, you didn't have any internships or job offer, and people start underestimating you. I was so sure they did. When I finally got an internship and even a job offer, oh my God, people start treating me differently. They were somewhat nicer and more respectful. Isn't that crazy?
Anyways, not only that part that was hard. Overall, everything was pretty hard. Courses were pretty hard in terms of the assignment load, and I really wanted to get a GPA of 4.0, although now I ended up having a 3.95 or something. But the conclusion is, I don't want to repeat this process, LOL. Enough is enough. I'm so tired of being a student and have to do all of the assignments. Gosh... And not even paid well (Duh, of course, who do you think you are!?).
Anyway again, now I'm just chilling... A bit sad thinking that I have to leave Golden..... But life must go on, just like... always....
Cheers to the next adventures ahead!
The other hard parts are when oil price is low, you didn't have any internships or job offer, and people start underestimating you. I was so sure they did. When I finally got an internship and even a job offer, oh my God, people start treating me differently. They were somewhat nicer and more respectful. Isn't that crazy?
Anyways, not only that part that was hard. Overall, everything was pretty hard. Courses were pretty hard in terms of the assignment load, and I really wanted to get a GPA of 4.0, although now I ended up having a 3.95 or something. But the conclusion is, I don't want to repeat this process, LOL. Enough is enough. I'm so tired of being a student and have to do all of the assignments. Gosh... And not even paid well (Duh, of course, who do you think you are!?).
Anyway again, now I'm just chilling... A bit sad thinking that I have to leave Golden..... But life must go on, just like... always....
Cheers to the next adventures ahead!
Friday, November 3, 2017
A week before defense
Mixed feelings. I don't want to postpone it (obviously). I just want to get it done sooner than later. Can you believe that supposedly all of these burdens will be over in a week?
Gosh...
I know sometimes I complain (human nature) about school life, which surprisingly was my biggest dream to pursue. Again, I cherish this moment so fricking much, but enough is enough. I don't enjoy it as much anymore. I want to graduate and start working again. Maybe, maybe, because my main goal is money. Yea maybe that's why. If being a student pays a lot, then I will choose this job any day.
But seriously, again, how can I complain? My life these past two semesters has been pretty easy peasy. I wake up late everyday. No classes anymore. Just do research, write, consult, re-write, etc. I really should not complain. But I'm just so done with my project.
One day I will miss all of these moments for sure. Being in the most beautiful place surrounded by the mountain, bluest sky, freshest air, no kids (LOL), no traffic, can go to gym everyday and exercise without hesitation, go to the nearest river close to the house. Gosh.... how dare did I ever complain? I love this place and this moment so much and I will remember it forever.
Gosh...
I know sometimes I complain (human nature) about school life, which surprisingly was my biggest dream to pursue. Again, I cherish this moment so fricking much, but enough is enough. I don't enjoy it as much anymore. I want to graduate and start working again. Maybe, maybe, because my main goal is money. Yea maybe that's why. If being a student pays a lot, then I will choose this job any day.
But seriously, again, how can I complain? My life these past two semesters has been pretty easy peasy. I wake up late everyday. No classes anymore. Just do research, write, consult, re-write, etc. I really should not complain. But I'm just so done with my project.
One day I will miss all of these moments for sure. Being in the most beautiful place surrounded by the mountain, bluest sky, freshest air, no kids (LOL), no traffic, can go to gym everyday and exercise without hesitation, go to the nearest river close to the house. Gosh.... how dare did I ever complain? I love this place and this moment so much and I will remember it forever.
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