Stay

Apparently I can stay longer on my Masters, cause I still have one year funding from an International Fellowship. I didn't even apply for it. My professor did it for me and I only knew it once I got it. Isn't that awesome? Like he did it for me. Anyway... let's cross the fingers and hope for the best. Once one door is closed, another one opened, so.... I believe there must be better things awaiting.

On the side note, I've been trying to manage my emotion and ultimately my patience. Bae has been super busy lately and I probably have been cranky for the past month.
So the cycle is probably like this:
Bae is busy > me mad and get naggy > he calmed me down > I feel guilty and try to understand > he got busy again > me mad and get naggy > he is no longer patient plus annoyed by my forever naggyness > I feel guilty and try to understand > he got busy > me mad.... AND IT GOES ON AND ON

I'm getting pretty tired about it but also I don't really know what to do.. I mean at this point it's pretty pointless to even threatening to break up cos obviously it would even be much worse for me when I broke up with anyone I dearly love. So maybe...maybe, I'll just keep my shit together, try to be silent for a while. He told me several times just to be patient at least until he finished his 3rd movie (supposedly happening last November, but then of course now is March, and he said the plan now is to shoot it in June). So yea.... that's probably for the best. Keep silent. Cos if I keep on doing whatever I've been doing (nagging, and super mellow-dramatic), it will end sooner or later and it will be even more devastating for me.

At least I don't want to do that until I get settled, you know. Like in terms of degree and anything else. And afterall, you can't really control anyone else but yourself.

TRUE DAT

Oh and to even add one more reason why I shouldn't do whatever I thought is "good" to do when I was mad, I always ended up crying for hours that make me can't function on the next day.

So,,,, Sheila,.... be smart!