You know what is crazy about celebrating New Year? You start to lose count. Haha.... You were like, "err what? What year is it now? And it has already over? You gotta be kidding me!!!"
Funny thing, I reckon that eveeryyy end of year for the last 4 years, I allllways have new love story. LOL. Whether it is bitter or sweet ones.
End of 2015 - E (very very fresh and new, haven't talked bout this at all, lol)
End of 2014 - T
End of 2013 - A
End of 2012 - H
Anywaaay, I don't know if I have new resolution for 2016. All I wanna pursue is good grade and really work my ass off on the research. Last semester I almost got 4.0 GPA if it is not bcos of one stupid class. Oh well... I knew better if 4.0 doesn't really matter when u apply for a job, but still, I think it would have been really cool. But anyway, I'm still very grateful for whatever I achieved, Thanks GOD for everything. Really, I do. Human can only hope and dreams higher than what we already have. But in the end, it is all beyond expectation.
2015 is pretty crazy afterall. This is the year of vacation for sure. First half of the year was spent by farewell vacation to Bali and Bali again, with different group of friends. Year of sitting and waiting whether I will go to US for school or not. Plus waiting for all the paperwork things. That was craazy, but fun. Second half of the year, of course, I'm in US already. Trying to adapt, adjust, everything. Going from very hot and humid place in the world, to the 4 season place. Veeryy hot and dry at one time and now, veeryyy cold and dry also. It is funny how I haven't met ants, or mosquitos, and when I left my chips exposed to the air, it will still be crispy. Hahahaha... very fun observation.
This is also the year of major change. Change from all the splurges into having to cut all expenses! Bad year for us the oil and gas workers. But oh well... hopefully it will be much better next year. Can only hope, right?
Love life, I still haven't found the one, though I mentioned at the beginning that I met someone new. Yea not the type I'd marry. But it is just fun to meet someone very different from what I use to know :)
Afterall, I hope all the best for all of us in 2016. I'll try to exercise more and be more healthy next year (as what all people always say for new year resolution, LOLOL).
Goodbye 2015! Thanks for everything!
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Monday, December 28, 2015
The Perks of being Single
After some failures in my past dating life, I used to think, man, had it not been failed, I would probably have raised couple of kids by now. The way I used to dream about my future life when I was still a little kid. And now, I'm 27 going 28 in half a year. Wow.
I have to tell ya, I enjoy my single life soooo sooo much that I haven't had thought it would be this exciting.
OK I have to admit I have the anxiety if I keep being single until my 30s without having a kid, then it would probably be too late for me. But aside of that "child" equation, I really enjoy being single.
I have to tell ya too, that my life in the past 3 years were the most exciting and adventurous from my almost 3 decades being in this world. I did crazy things, some I regret, most I don't regret. And the best part of it, is, nobody restrict me from doing things. I do what I want to do. I met so many exciting people, did crazy things together, see the world from many views.
Well I hope when it is the time, I would have enjoyed it enough to make me settle down. LOL
I have to tell ya, I enjoy my single life soooo sooo much that I haven't had thought it would be this exciting.
OK I have to admit I have the anxiety if I keep being single until my 30s without having a kid, then it would probably be too late for me. But aside of that "child" equation, I really enjoy being single.
I have to tell ya too, that my life in the past 3 years were the most exciting and adventurous from my almost 3 decades being in this world. I did crazy things, some I regret, most I don't regret. And the best part of it, is, nobody restrict me from doing things. I do what I want to do. I met so many exciting people, did crazy things together, see the world from many views.
Well I hope when it is the time, I would have enjoyed it enough to make me settle down. LOL
Monday, December 21, 2015
New things
One thing about living in the U.S, as I think I've talked bout this before, is that you gotta learn to do most things by yourself. Cos nothing is cheap, especially if it's related to services. So yea, living here in 4 months now have improved myself a bit, I think.
Now I cook more. LOL. I can cook gorengan ( just like mamang2 style), sop sayur baso, kare, etc. And the better thing is when people say they like your cooking ( housemate and landlord). Makes me motivated to cook more. Maybe. Hahaha..
Another thing is now I'm really good at polishing my nail. You know it ain't easy job, especially when you do it to your right hand using your left hand. Believe me! But now, I can do it!!
I also cut my own bangs. Poni bahasa Indonya. And my housemate was like, "did u just have a haircut?". "Yea I cut it myself". "Really? It looks good, tho". BAHAHAHAA... Kalo kepepet ternyata semua hal bisa dilakuin sendiri yah?
I remember I always had my nail polished in the nail saloon everytime. So spoilt. My bangs cut in the saloon too. Of course it is still better than if I do it myself, but it is way more expensive than it should have been.
I think I'm learning Survival 101 now. LOL
Now I cook more. LOL. I can cook gorengan ( just like mamang2 style), sop sayur baso, kare, etc. And the better thing is when people say they like your cooking ( housemate and landlord). Makes me motivated to cook more. Maybe. Hahaha..
Another thing is now I'm really good at polishing my nail. You know it ain't easy job, especially when you do it to your right hand using your left hand. Believe me! But now, I can do it!!
I also cut my own bangs. Poni bahasa Indonya. And my housemate was like, "did u just have a haircut?". "Yea I cut it myself". "Really? It looks good, tho". BAHAHAHAA... Kalo kepepet ternyata semua hal bisa dilakuin sendiri yah?
I remember I always had my nail polished in the nail saloon everytime. So spoilt. My bangs cut in the saloon too. Of course it is still better than if I do it myself, but it is way more expensive than it should have been.
I think I'm learning Survival 101 now. LOL
Sunday, December 13, 2015
It is funny
how something you had no expectations (or much less expectations) about, could be something lasts even longer.
By the time I'm writing this, we've been "together" for a bit more than a year. And I have known him about a half year prior to our "relationship", if u can called so.
It is supposedly not something serious, because we are not really committed to each other. There's something making us can't commit to each other, which is OK. I knew it from the start hence it is somehow easier for me to be in it. I would just think, "oh well it's not gonna work anyway". But then by the time I realize, it's been even longer than any other serious relationships I've ever been in.
And he's not perfect at all, but I found him somehow is the best in understanding me?
Weird.
Oh well, maybe that's just how life works. U can't really predict how it turned out to be. This also may end up anytime soon, I wouldn't know by now.
By the time I'm writing this, we've been "together" for a bit more than a year. And I have known him about a half year prior to our "relationship", if u can called so.
It is supposedly not something serious, because we are not really committed to each other. There's something making us can't commit to each other, which is OK. I knew it from the start hence it is somehow easier for me to be in it. I would just think, "oh well it's not gonna work anyway". But then by the time I realize, it's been even longer than any other serious relationships I've ever been in.
And he's not perfect at all, but I found him somehow is the best in understanding me?
Weird.
Oh well, maybe that's just how life works. U can't really predict how it turned out to be. This also may end up anytime soon, I wouldn't know by now.
Saturday, December 5, 2015
School VS Work
An Indo friend here asked me question: "Lo lebih prefer skolah ato kerja Shel?"
I was thinking for a second but then I just directly answered, "Kerja lah!"
It might be different for everyone, but I have this elaboration about the answer. And the truth is, nothing really is better than the other like 100% better. It is always a plus and minus. And it might be different from what I'm going to explain compare to other people, depending on the place you work for or the school where u go for study.
So anyway, first of all, I have more money when I was still working. It might not be A LOT that u can buy branded bags everytime (well depends on your priority of course and financial management), but it was so enough!
Before I'm going to say more, I would like to emphasize that this post is not to brag. It's just purely what I felt, feel, and I'm making comparison. And I never really exaggerated things.
So yea, continue. It might not be THAT MUCH of money I had, but it was enough. It was enough for me to eat out everyday (cos who the hell would cook for my lunch and dinner? Not me for sure). Enough for having my delicious cup of coffee every morning (again, not instant coffee like I'm having at the moment), enough for me to shop clothes everytime I feel like I want to. Sometimes even when my friend asked me to hang out on Friday night, and I was not in "hangout" dress, there's no way I would go back home just to change clothes. I would rather shop to the nearest mall.
Enough for me to at least have one proper holiday in a year. Usually more. And still enough for me to save or invest on something. Cos I wouldn't want to spend everything, of course.
Now how about school life? One word. Poor. Haha! I don't even want to talk bout it, just making me sad. I really feel like I'm going back to the time when I was still in ITB. There was a moment (usually the very last week in a month) I would eat Indomie everyyday cos I didn't have money anymore. And the saddest was, sometimes in "tanggal tua" and my friend would asked to eat at good place such as Sushi Tei, and I would borrow the money first to get em back when I have more money sent to me on "tanggal muda". Sad yea? Hahaha... Of course people would maybe look at me and think, "cmon Sheila, there are still a lot more people having less fortunate condition than u. Don't be too manja!". That is totally true. I heard the "anak kost" before me even did not have car and smartphone, for 5 frickin years! Oh well, that is a lil bit too much for me. First of all, it is almost impossible for me to live here without car. I would be depressed. Depending on other people everytime, plus the weather is crazy sometimes. And hey, I used to work before, it would be different for people that just continue their study from undergrad, let's say. But I would be so depressed I think if I jump into too significant condition from where I used to be in.
Lanjut. So yea, one problem when u were working (like me, office hours everyday), is that u don't really have enough time. U would love to travel for a month, for example. But that's just impossible. During school? U could get 1-3 months holiday. But again, duit'e sopo?? Mbahmu? Hahaha...
That's what my friends kept telling me, "just go somewhere for holiday". Yea rite. Buat idup aja udah mepet.
One thing I miss from working life was when the oil price was still high, every year I would have at least 2 trainings outside Jakarta, with 5 star facility. Compare to the fieldtrip I had from school the last time. Yes we had the flight tickets and hotel room covered ( one room, for 4 people), but we have to spend our own money for eat etc. Plus the fieldtrip was from 7 to 7. Crazy. So little time to go around, really. Compare to when I did fieldtrip when I was still working. Basically it wasn't a fieldtrip I think. It was more like a holiday, hahaha. Cos we just walked a bit, snacking, eating, walk. And then the provider would prepare a lot of food and drinks for us. Oh well, it is always different working for oil company (when oil price is still good, of course).
OK that's for the bad parts. Now, why did I still go for studying? Because I remember, when I was still working, I was bored. It was just soooooo predictable. Everyday routine. Made me think sometimes , "wow, am I gonna do this exact things for, say, 10 yrs from now?". Of course in Oil Company they would rotate you sometimes, but it would happen in 3-5 years cycle. There were so many times I would just sit and wonder, wow, I'm doing the same things. I don't really wanna work. I just wanna go for holiday. And going back from holiday, all I wanted was to have another holiday. Hahaha...
When u were at school, no such things as boring things, really. Everyday is something new. Even stressful sometimes, but I bet nothing will bore you. It even surprises u, every single day, u discover something new, learn something new. And u have goals. Really short time goals. Sometimes it makes u feel younger too. LOL. But well, still, money is everything. Hahaha..
One thing also is, this has been my bucket list for so long. I remember when I was still working, everytime I heard someone studied somewhere abroad, I was always soooo interested to ask so many things. I think if I hadn't taken such opportunity, I would still dream bout it every single day. And wonder, why did I not do this?
So yea, the goal now is just to finish it, with the hopes that I would not go broke. Hahahah... Hopefully the scholarship would still be there even on this terrible oil price condition.
I was thinking for a second but then I just directly answered, "Kerja lah!"
It might be different for everyone, but I have this elaboration about the answer. And the truth is, nothing really is better than the other like 100% better. It is always a plus and minus. And it might be different from what I'm going to explain compare to other people, depending on the place you work for or the school where u go for study.
So anyway, first of all, I have more money when I was still working. It might not be A LOT that u can buy branded bags everytime (well depends on your priority of course and financial management), but it was so enough!
Before I'm going to say more, I would like to emphasize that this post is not to brag. It's just purely what I felt, feel, and I'm making comparison. And I never really exaggerated things.
So yea, continue. It might not be THAT MUCH of money I had, but it was enough. It was enough for me to eat out everyday (cos who the hell would cook for my lunch and dinner? Not me for sure). Enough for having my delicious cup of coffee every morning (again, not instant coffee like I'm having at the moment), enough for me to shop clothes everytime I feel like I want to. Sometimes even when my friend asked me to hang out on Friday night, and I was not in "hangout" dress, there's no way I would go back home just to change clothes. I would rather shop to the nearest mall.
Enough for me to at least have one proper holiday in a year. Usually more. And still enough for me to save or invest on something. Cos I wouldn't want to spend everything, of course.
Now how about school life? One word. Poor. Haha! I don't even want to talk bout it, just making me sad. I really feel like I'm going back to the time when I was still in ITB. There was a moment (usually the very last week in a month) I would eat Indomie everyyday cos I didn't have money anymore. And the saddest was, sometimes in "tanggal tua" and my friend would asked to eat at good place such as Sushi Tei, and I would borrow the money first to get em back when I have more money sent to me on "tanggal muda". Sad yea? Hahaha... Of course people would maybe look at me and think, "cmon Sheila, there are still a lot more people having less fortunate condition than u. Don't be too manja!". That is totally true. I heard the "anak kost" before me even did not have car and smartphone, for 5 frickin years! Oh well, that is a lil bit too much for me. First of all, it is almost impossible for me to live here without car. I would be depressed. Depending on other people everytime, plus the weather is crazy sometimes. And hey, I used to work before, it would be different for people that just continue their study from undergrad, let's say. But I would be so depressed I think if I jump into too significant condition from where I used to be in.
Lanjut. So yea, one problem when u were working (like me, office hours everyday), is that u don't really have enough time. U would love to travel for a month, for example. But that's just impossible. During school? U could get 1-3 months holiday. But again, duit'e sopo?? Mbahmu? Hahaha...
That's what my friends kept telling me, "just go somewhere for holiday". Yea rite. Buat idup aja udah mepet.
One thing I miss from working life was when the oil price was still high, every year I would have at least 2 trainings outside Jakarta, with 5 star facility. Compare to the fieldtrip I had from school the last time. Yes we had the flight tickets and hotel room covered ( one room, for 4 people), but we have to spend our own money for eat etc. Plus the fieldtrip was from 7 to 7. Crazy. So little time to go around, really. Compare to when I did fieldtrip when I was still working. Basically it wasn't a fieldtrip I think. It was more like a holiday, hahaha. Cos we just walked a bit, snacking, eating, walk. And then the provider would prepare a lot of food and drinks for us. Oh well, it is always different working for oil company (when oil price is still good, of course).
OK that's for the bad parts. Now, why did I still go for studying? Because I remember, when I was still working, I was bored. It was just soooooo predictable. Everyday routine. Made me think sometimes , "wow, am I gonna do this exact things for, say, 10 yrs from now?". Of course in Oil Company they would rotate you sometimes, but it would happen in 3-5 years cycle. There were so many times I would just sit and wonder, wow, I'm doing the same things. I don't really wanna work. I just wanna go for holiday. And going back from holiday, all I wanted was to have another holiday. Hahaha...
When u were at school, no such things as boring things, really. Everyday is something new. Even stressful sometimes, but I bet nothing will bore you. It even surprises u, every single day, u discover something new, learn something new. And u have goals. Really short time goals. Sometimes it makes u feel younger too. LOL. But well, still, money is everything. Hahaha..
One thing also is, this has been my bucket list for so long. I remember when I was still working, everytime I heard someone studied somewhere abroad, I was always soooo interested to ask so many things. I think if I hadn't taken such opportunity, I would still dream bout it every single day. And wonder, why did I not do this?
So yea, the goal now is just to finish it, with the hopes that I would not go broke. Hahahah... Hopefully the scholarship would still be there even on this terrible oil price condition.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Spending
Tonight suddenly I wanna talk bout my spending here in the US. I got stipend from school monthly for around $1200. OK maybe precisely about $1170. That's because of the tax! Supposedly it's around $1300, sigh.
OH anyway, the stipend payment is done twice a month, on the 15th and 30th, which around $585/2weeks. $600 will go to the landlord every end of month, so basically I only have $500-ish per month to live. And note this, I will need to spend $77/month for car insurance. And that's like the cheapest I could get for now. I will spend $20/month for phone bill. That is almost $100 already. So I now only have $400-ish every month. And I will then need to spend around $30 for gas every month. And that's because my school is very close to home. Usually what makes it run out faster is because I went to Denver (for shopping or other entertainment thingy) or go somewhere for school project. Let me think what else do I need to spend money on.
Hmm maybe that's the basic. So what I have left will go to food and entertainment, I guess. Or car. Cos last time I spent quite a lot on driving license, car service etc. But well, that's important, so I'll let it be. So basically now I will only have around $300ish per month for food etc. That's about $10/day or even less. It is good at the moment cos my mom is here, so she will pay for every grocery shopping or when we are out for dining. LOL.
Oh and sometimes I became too "gatau diri", I will go to Starbucks almost every morning to get my Vanilla Latte. At first I didn't do it anymore, but now I miss my morning Latte just like when I was in Jakarta. Oh speaking of previous life in Jakarta, I could spend some money everyday and still save some money too. So sad that now I won't be able to save anything. It would be so good already if I don't use my saving (from Indo bank) for my life in here. And basically this all is spent only for ME. I haven't had kids and already soooo boros. Imagine if I have kids?!
Well hopefully I can still hang on to my financial management until I graduate.
OH anyway, the stipend payment is done twice a month, on the 15th and 30th, which around $585/2weeks. $600 will go to the landlord every end of month, so basically I only have $500-ish per month to live. And note this, I will need to spend $77/month for car insurance. And that's like the cheapest I could get for now. I will spend $20/month for phone bill. That is almost $100 already. So I now only have $400-ish every month. And I will then need to spend around $30 for gas every month. And that's because my school is very close to home. Usually what makes it run out faster is because I went to Denver (for shopping or other entertainment thingy) or go somewhere for school project. Let me think what else do I need to spend money on.
Hmm maybe that's the basic. So what I have left will go to food and entertainment, I guess. Or car. Cos last time I spent quite a lot on driving license, car service etc. But well, that's important, so I'll let it be. So basically now I will only have around $300ish per month for food etc. That's about $10/day or even less. It is good at the moment cos my mom is here, so she will pay for every grocery shopping or when we are out for dining. LOL.
Oh and sometimes I became too "gatau diri", I will go to Starbucks almost every morning to get my Vanilla Latte. At first I didn't do it anymore, but now I miss my morning Latte just like when I was in Jakarta. Oh speaking of previous life in Jakarta, I could spend some money everyday and still save some money too. So sad that now I won't be able to save anything. It would be so good already if I don't use my saving (from Indo bank) for my life in here. And basically this all is spent only for ME. I haven't had kids and already soooo boros. Imagine if I have kids?!
Well hopefully I can still hang on to my financial management until I graduate.
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Do not Give Up
So often I think to myself, "udah enak2 kerja, santai, ga pusing mikirin duit, kok ya cari penyakit balik sekolah lagi".
It's just so frickin true!
Frickin busyyy... and frickin poor. LOL. It is totally out of my comfort zone, except that I like what I learn. But it's just seriously not easy at all.
But then some people encourage me, including my boss. He emailed me last time saying,
"your path may be difficult, but I am sure you are going down the right one..."
Aw.. how sweet is that x_x
It's just so frickin true!
Frickin busyyy... and frickin poor. LOL. It is totally out of my comfort zone, except that I like what I learn. But it's just seriously not easy at all.
But then some people encourage me, including my boss. He emailed me last time saying,
"your path may be difficult, but I am sure you are going down the right one..."
Aw.. how sweet is that x_x
Monday, October 26, 2015
Mom is here!
for almost 2 weeks now, and she plans to be here 1.5mths, LOL. I could breathe for a while now, cos she would buy most things I need day by day, and cook and clean and everything. LOL.
Sometimes I feel like a "durhaka" daughter cos sometimes I would accidentally be kinda rude. You know. Didn't do it on purpose, but sometimes I was just easily annoyed. But the truth is I'm very grateful she's here now.
But I just don't like to menye2 in front of her of any other family members of mine. Hehe..
Anyway, life in Colorado is OK now. So far so good, I didn't make any trouble so far. I got my driving license too! yay! So now I don't have to be too worried to drive around.
School wise, I got more friends, I'm kinda safe in terms of the courses, I think. Tried my best. Even mom now realized how busy and how serious my school is. LOL.
Love wise, nothing new, nothing too interesting to talk about. Which is probably good for now, cos I need to succeed at my school and not worrying bout such things.
Kinda sad cos I didn't get any internships next summer due to the oil price. T_T
Basically most companies only hire the Americans now. Yea of course.
You know I'm so sad bout this industry's condition that one time I had a dream that oil price was going back to $100/barrel again! And I was sad waking up to the real fact that it didn't go up.
Oh well, maybe just need to focus on study more now and forget bout anything else :)
Wish me luck
Sometimes I feel like a "durhaka" daughter cos sometimes I would accidentally be kinda rude. You know. Didn't do it on purpose, but sometimes I was just easily annoyed. But the truth is I'm very grateful she's here now.
But I just don't like to menye2 in front of her of any other family members of mine. Hehe..
Anyway, life in Colorado is OK now. So far so good, I didn't make any trouble so far. I got my driving license too! yay! So now I don't have to be too worried to drive around.
School wise, I got more friends, I'm kinda safe in terms of the courses, I think. Tried my best. Even mom now realized how busy and how serious my school is. LOL.
Love wise, nothing new, nothing too interesting to talk about. Which is probably good for now, cos I need to succeed at my school and not worrying bout such things.
Kinda sad cos I didn't get any internships next summer due to the oil price. T_T
Basically most companies only hire the Americans now. Yea of course.
You know I'm so sad bout this industry's condition that one time I had a dream that oil price was going back to $100/barrel again! And I was sad waking up to the real fact that it didn't go up.
Oh well, maybe just need to focus on study more now and forget bout anything else :)
Wish me luck
Friday, October 2, 2015
In one year
so much changes happened. Sometimes I looked back and can't easily believe it!
OK ini belum taun baru, tapi forget bout 2014 vs 2015. It is just as simple as current moment vs what happened exactly one year ago.
It is easier to compare now since we have apps called Timehop. Tiap hari pop up aja gitu ngingetin what exactly happened a yr ago or 2 yrs ago and so on.
And what kinda makes me sad right now is the situation at the office. When I left my office and colleagues back in early August, we knew that things won't look good very very soon. But somewhat we're still OK. We (always) thought that bad things will happen, but well, fck it, It hasn't happened yet!
And now? Terrible. My colleagues have to be moved to other Business Unit or even cross function! One of senior geologist will move to Duri (it is already bad) and becoming an IT person (well that is WORST). One of my junior also (very very smart geophysicist) will be a HSE (health, safety, environment) person in Duri. Man, it hurts me somewhat. But that is the best possibility for now. Would u rather do that or being laid off?
I love my team back in Jakarta. Very fun people and we are very close to each other. Never in my life have I been in a group like that. Thats what making it even hurtful. That team will disappear , disintegrated real soon. Of course it is pretty sad for me also seeing things staying at the same state for decade, let's say. But at least if it is changed, it changes for better things. While this one is not.
Other things happened last year, I had 3 training outside Jakarta. 1 in Bangkok, 2 in Belitung and Lombok. One business trip in KL, and still even go to Solo for HAGI event sponsored by the company. Now? U will dream bout it! Before I left for CO, two trainings of mine got cancelled. Both were supposed to be held in Bali. So sad.
Did it ever occur last year? NOPE. Not a single clue.
One other thing happened last year. I had this gang that was very very fun, party everytime. Now? Nope. Everything changed. Basically bcos of the drama happened inside it. Too much of it.
And, did it ever occur to me also last year that I would eventually go to Colorado for school?
Hell no. I dreamed bout it, yes. But never really had picture that it would really happen.
Sometimes I think future is just so filled with surprises. Some are good, some are not.
That makes us anxious, worry, anything u name it.
But well, what happens happens, right?
That's life...
OK ini belum taun baru, tapi forget bout 2014 vs 2015. It is just as simple as current moment vs what happened exactly one year ago.
It is easier to compare now since we have apps called Timehop. Tiap hari pop up aja gitu ngingetin what exactly happened a yr ago or 2 yrs ago and so on.
And what kinda makes me sad right now is the situation at the office. When I left my office and colleagues back in early August, we knew that things won't look good very very soon. But somewhat we're still OK. We (always) thought that bad things will happen, but well, fck it, It hasn't happened yet!
And now? Terrible. My colleagues have to be moved to other Business Unit or even cross function! One of senior geologist will move to Duri (it is already bad) and becoming an IT person (well that is WORST). One of my junior also (very very smart geophysicist) will be a HSE (health, safety, environment) person in Duri. Man, it hurts me somewhat. But that is the best possibility for now. Would u rather do that or being laid off?
I love my team back in Jakarta. Very fun people and we are very close to each other. Never in my life have I been in a group like that. Thats what making it even hurtful. That team will disappear , disintegrated real soon. Of course it is pretty sad for me also seeing things staying at the same state for decade, let's say. But at least if it is changed, it changes for better things. While this one is not.
Other things happened last year, I had 3 training outside Jakarta. 1 in Bangkok, 2 in Belitung and Lombok. One business trip in KL, and still even go to Solo for HAGI event sponsored by the company. Now? U will dream bout it! Before I left for CO, two trainings of mine got cancelled. Both were supposed to be held in Bali. So sad.
Did it ever occur last year? NOPE. Not a single clue.
One other thing happened last year. I had this gang that was very very fun, party everytime. Now? Nope. Everything changed. Basically bcos of the drama happened inside it. Too much of it.
And, did it ever occur to me also last year that I would eventually go to Colorado for school?
Hell no. I dreamed bout it, yes. But never really had picture that it would really happen.
Sometimes I think future is just so filled with surprises. Some are good, some are not.
That makes us anxious, worry, anything u name it.
But well, what happens happens, right?
That's life...
Sunday, September 27, 2015
New Things
I think I have written several times how I miss my old life back in Jakarta, how homesick I am here etc.
I've talked to some people and they said it is normal. Of course you will experience such things. But then now I'm thinking, this is actually fun, no?
Experiencing new things, far away from something you used to do or be with. There are several things change in me also, I notice:
1. I become less and less picky bout food. You know back in Indo I was soooo madly in love with food. Sometimes I lost control where I started to gain a lot of weight and ended up having to do a strict diet! But now I am sooo much different I think , haha! well there is nothing I can do, basically. I eat whatever I can eat, whatever provided to me. Sandwich, pizza, anything. As long as I don't feel hungry. And the basic reason is because I'm saving my money. I don't have too much money to live here to be honest. Plus there is a lot of things need to be taken care of, such as car, etc.
Anyway, so yea, even instant noodle, the thing I rareelly ate in Indo, I could eat that about 3 times a week. But not always like that sih, sometimes I would treat myself during weekend or when I feel really in a bad mood.
2. I think somehow I become more self independent? I clean things at home, I took care of things by myself, like when I was taking care of my new car, I had to go back and forth to the government office by bus and walking several times. It wasn't easy for me. Haha.. But I did that eventually.
3. I'm really serious bout my grades in here. Hence I always try to attend every classes on time and do my homework on time as well. What is the point of coming here and study but then failed? It won't be funny, at all.
I think 1.5 months only have changed me about that much, will see later if I change (hopefully in a better way) after some time.
:)
I've talked to some people and they said it is normal. Of course you will experience such things. But then now I'm thinking, this is actually fun, no?
Experiencing new things, far away from something you used to do or be with. There are several things change in me also, I notice:
1. I become less and less picky bout food. You know back in Indo I was soooo madly in love with food. Sometimes I lost control where I started to gain a lot of weight and ended up having to do a strict diet! But now I am sooo much different I think , haha! well there is nothing I can do, basically. I eat whatever I can eat, whatever provided to me. Sandwich, pizza, anything. As long as I don't feel hungry. And the basic reason is because I'm saving my money. I don't have too much money to live here to be honest. Plus there is a lot of things need to be taken care of, such as car, etc.
Anyway, so yea, even instant noodle, the thing I rareelly ate in Indo, I could eat that about 3 times a week. But not always like that sih, sometimes I would treat myself during weekend or when I feel really in a bad mood.
2. I think somehow I become more self independent? I clean things at home, I took care of things by myself, like when I was taking care of my new car, I had to go back and forth to the government office by bus and walking several times. It wasn't easy for me. Haha.. But I did that eventually.
3. I'm really serious bout my grades in here. Hence I always try to attend every classes on time and do my homework on time as well. What is the point of coming here and study but then failed? It won't be funny, at all.
I think 1.5 months only have changed me about that much, will see later if I change (hopefully in a better way) after some time.
:)
Thursday, September 24, 2015
Challenge or Comfort?
I guess human has issues. And one of the biggest issue is, we are never satisfied.
I think that kinda applies to me. When I was still in undergrad school, all I want was get a job. Once I got a job, I want to go back to school again, in another country (preferably U.S). And now, once I got into the school, I want to go back to the place I was once belong to!
I do miss my friends,
colleagues,
family,
colleagues. Did I mention that already? LOL. But yea, surprisingly I miss my colleagues at work, the MOST.
Cos they are people I got to see every single day for last past 4.5years. Since early in the morning until time to go home.
Well I have to admit, even though that time was the most comfortable moment of my life, there were couple of times I wasn't happy. Why? Cos I don't know what is next? Or maybe, I know TOO damn well what would happen next. I wake up, go to the office, work with those people, and repeat the same routine until I realize, I'm OLD already!
Now that reminds me why I came to US at first place. I was looking for new things. For challenges. And now once I face the challenge, I'm scared!
I think all I need to do is to remind myself everyday, what was my purpose at the beginning. And keep enjoying the moment, cos what's the point of living life, hoping for something different?
Cherish the moment, get to know more about the life, the world. Keep in having faith!!!
I think that kinda applies to me. When I was still in undergrad school, all I want was get a job. Once I got a job, I want to go back to school again, in another country (preferably U.S). And now, once I got into the school, I want to go back to the place I was once belong to!
I do miss my friends,
colleagues,
family,
colleagues. Did I mention that already? LOL. But yea, surprisingly I miss my colleagues at work, the MOST.
Cos they are people I got to see every single day for last past 4.5years. Since early in the morning until time to go home.
Well I have to admit, even though that time was the most comfortable moment of my life, there were couple of times I wasn't happy. Why? Cos I don't know what is next? Or maybe, I know TOO damn well what would happen next. I wake up, go to the office, work with those people, and repeat the same routine until I realize, I'm OLD already!
Now that reminds me why I came to US at first place. I was looking for new things. For challenges. And now once I face the challenge, I'm scared!
I think all I need to do is to remind myself everyday, what was my purpose at the beginning. And keep enjoying the moment, cos what's the point of living life, hoping for something different?
Cherish the moment, get to know more about the life, the world. Keep in having faith!!!
Friday, September 18, 2015
Homesick Akut!!!
Kayaknya kemaren2 benciiii banget ama Jakarta ampe sering banget ngelus dada bergumam "udah lah yaa...bentar lagi gue cabut ke Amrik. Say goodbye to all this shit.."
And you know what, Ive been crying these past few days!!! Homesick! LOL
I know it is only a month or so now, it is just the adjustment. And people have warned me before, FOCUS! It is only 2 years! Time will run fast you wont realized it.
Pertama yang bkin homesick itu... Gada mobil! Gw jalan tiap hari rumah-kampus-rumah. Kadang kalo lagi panas ya panas banget (ampe udah pasrah ni muka ntar jadi kek apa jadinya), pernah 1 kali tuh ujan dan gw kira ujannya bakal yang basa basi gitu. Jadi tetep nekatlah jalan cepet ke rumah cuma pake jaket ala kadarnya (jaket gaya, bukan buat ujan atopun dingin) daaannn keujanan kedinginan jalan 2km ke rumah. Trus pengen mewek, tapi ditahan.
Gue d Jakarta nyetir mulu! Ya walopun banyakan stop nya sih. Tapi I feel independent gitu. Disini ya kalo ga jalan, numpang temen, atau naik bus yang kadang datengnya telat, trus jalannya relatif pelan, dan most places masih harus jalan lagi dari bus stopnya.
OK gw akuin gw manja sih makanya kek gini. I just have never felt like this before. Pernah sih waktu baru kuliah d Bandung, tapi itu Bandung doank.. Masi Indo juga.. Jadi not so bad lah. Disini tuh kayak berasa lost aja gitu. Bukan negara sendiri, temen2 ada sih tapi ya yang ga deket2 amat. Belom lah. Palingan cuma share tentang kuliah aja.
Anyway I just bought a car. So hopefully things will be better after. Hopefully.
Kedua yang bikin homesick itu beberapa anak d kampus yang cukup "setan". Haha.. ini nulisnya sambil emosi. Tapi bener deh, kadang ada sih yang baik, tapi banyak juga yang gajelas gitu lho. Kayak ga ramah sama skali. Udah disalamin diajak kenalan, masi aja dingin. Ada juga yang dikiran udah baik nih. Eh, setelah merasa dia ga dapet keuntungan apa-apa, ditinggalin lah kita nih. Bangke ya?
Dannn yang paling terakhir bikin nangis itu, keilangan paspor! Duh gatau lagi deh kenapa bisa tiba2 kena masalah ini. Pas di sini pula. Udah gamau bahas, bikin sakit hati.
But I know I will get through this. I will learn a lot, I will be a stronger person!!!
SEMANGAT!!!
And you know what, Ive been crying these past few days!!! Homesick! LOL
I know it is only a month or so now, it is just the adjustment. And people have warned me before, FOCUS! It is only 2 years! Time will run fast you wont realized it.
Pertama yang bkin homesick itu... Gada mobil! Gw jalan tiap hari rumah-kampus-rumah. Kadang kalo lagi panas ya panas banget (ampe udah pasrah ni muka ntar jadi kek apa jadinya), pernah 1 kali tuh ujan dan gw kira ujannya bakal yang basa basi gitu. Jadi tetep nekatlah jalan cepet ke rumah cuma pake jaket ala kadarnya (jaket gaya, bukan buat ujan atopun dingin) daaannn keujanan kedinginan jalan 2km ke rumah. Trus pengen mewek, tapi ditahan.
Gue d Jakarta nyetir mulu! Ya walopun banyakan stop nya sih. Tapi I feel independent gitu. Disini ya kalo ga jalan, numpang temen, atau naik bus yang kadang datengnya telat, trus jalannya relatif pelan, dan most places masih harus jalan lagi dari bus stopnya.
OK gw akuin gw manja sih makanya kek gini. I just have never felt like this before. Pernah sih waktu baru kuliah d Bandung, tapi itu Bandung doank.. Masi Indo juga.. Jadi not so bad lah. Disini tuh kayak berasa lost aja gitu. Bukan negara sendiri, temen2 ada sih tapi ya yang ga deket2 amat. Belom lah. Palingan cuma share tentang kuliah aja.
Anyway I just bought a car. So hopefully things will be better after. Hopefully.
Kedua yang bikin homesick itu beberapa anak d kampus yang cukup "setan". Haha.. ini nulisnya sambil emosi. Tapi bener deh, kadang ada sih yang baik, tapi banyak juga yang gajelas gitu lho. Kayak ga ramah sama skali. Udah disalamin diajak kenalan, masi aja dingin. Ada juga yang dikiran udah baik nih. Eh, setelah merasa dia ga dapet keuntungan apa-apa, ditinggalin lah kita nih. Bangke ya?
Dannn yang paling terakhir bikin nangis itu, keilangan paspor! Duh gatau lagi deh kenapa bisa tiba2 kena masalah ini. Pas di sini pula. Udah gamau bahas, bikin sakit hati.
But I know I will get through this. I will learn a lot, I will be a stronger person!!!
SEMANGAT!!!
Friday, August 28, 2015
U.S Quick Update
Ternyata udah ampir sebulan euy ga nulis...
Antara sibuk, males, dan terlalu banyak hal yang terjadi, jadi males updatenya. Hahaha *loh kok jadi ga sok Bahasa Inggris lagi*
Anyway kalo ada yang follow Path pasti sering sih liat apdetan foto dan hal2 ga penting lainnya :D
Long story short, I was feeling very blessed and sad and touched bcos so many friends cared bout me when I was going to leave. Many farewell presents etc. And some I expected, some I didn't! That's why it was so touchy :')
Udah 2 mingguan disini dan kesan-kesan so far:
- Gw berasa anak kampung masuk ke peradaban. Why?? Okeh. Semuanya ada disini. Anything can make your life easy, you name it. Apa satu2nya yang ga ada? Pembantu! Hahaha.. That's the only thing. Kecuali lo tajir mampus, baru deh punya pembantu. Karena intinya di US itu service is veeryy expensive. Makanya tiap kali bayar sesuatu di resto sangat diharapkan ngasi tips!
- I was living in the busiest city ever, Jakarta. Yang mana tiap hari kayaknya seperempat idup gw abis di jalanan. Disini (terutama di kota Golden), totally different. Everything is very relaxing and everyone is very laid back and polite. Satu contoh kasus, tiap kali mo nyebrang jalan atau mau masuk pintu, pasti tunggu2an sapa yang duluan. Hahaha... Dan kadang ampe jadi awkward karna gada yang mau duluan! Anyway, idup gw jadi sehat banget karna tiap hari jalan kaki +/- 9km. Bukan sengaja sih sebenernya, tp karna belom beli mobil aja kekekekeke...
- Oh about the school. I used to study at the BEST uni in Indo. But, well, once I'm here, jadi kayak banyaaaak hal2 yang bikin miris kalo inget2 IT* (sensor). To start with, disini mata kuliah itu kayak "candy shop" kalo istilah beberapa student. Kita sampe bingung mau ambil mata kuliah apa karna semuanya bagus dan menarik. Daannn, cepet full sama anak2 lainnya yang juga daftar (ada kapasitas maksimal). Dan karna skolah ini relative kecil juga, semua professor udah kayak temen kita aja. Discussion is very very encouraged, mau kapanpun mereka available most of the times. Kalo lagi pas ga ada di kantornya, email aja, janjian ketemu. Hari ini baru aja gangguin salah 1 prof buat install software di laptop gw yang akhirannya abis sejaman aja gitu wwkwkwk.. And he was very very nice!
Oh satu lagi juga, kampusnya bagus!! Jadi inget di IT* ga bole injek rumput, ga boleh d kampus ampe malem, dsb dsb. Disini semuaaaa murid pasti leyeh2 di rumput, olahraga, bahkan masang ranjang gantung di antara tiap pohon2. Mau nginep di sekolah juga basically boleh2 aja (gw sih ogah) hahaha...
dan masiii banyak hal lainnya yang mungkin lain waktu deh dishare disini :)
EH tapi itu yang bagus2 doank ya.
OK gw share yang agak downside:
Segalanya dikerjain sendiri. No maid, no one will help you doing daily works.
Segala yang lo bayar, blom include tax dan tips.
I needed to make new friendships. Well, sometimes it is fun, sometimes it is a pain in the ass. Depends.
Kadang ada aja orang-orang yang bikin lo MALEZ pake Z pake tanda seru kalo bisa.
SO many rules yang harus lo perhatiin kalo gamau getting in trouble.
Contoh: ati2 sama race/sexual jokes, etc. Basically karna sangat beda kultur juga sih, jadi harus banyak belajar juga.
I think that's all for now. Til next update/story!
Antara sibuk, males, dan terlalu banyak hal yang terjadi, jadi males updatenya. Hahaha *loh kok jadi ga sok Bahasa Inggris lagi*
Anyway kalo ada yang follow Path pasti sering sih liat apdetan foto dan hal2 ga penting lainnya :D
Long story short, I was feeling very blessed and sad and touched bcos so many friends cared bout me when I was going to leave. Many farewell presents etc. And some I expected, some I didn't! That's why it was so touchy :')
Udah 2 mingguan disini dan kesan-kesan so far:
- Gw berasa anak kampung masuk ke peradaban. Why?? Okeh. Semuanya ada disini. Anything can make your life easy, you name it. Apa satu2nya yang ga ada? Pembantu! Hahaha.. That's the only thing. Kecuali lo tajir mampus, baru deh punya pembantu. Karena intinya di US itu service is veeryy expensive. Makanya tiap kali bayar sesuatu di resto sangat diharapkan ngasi tips!
- I was living in the busiest city ever, Jakarta. Yang mana tiap hari kayaknya seperempat idup gw abis di jalanan. Disini (terutama di kota Golden), totally different. Everything is very relaxing and everyone is very laid back and polite. Satu contoh kasus, tiap kali mo nyebrang jalan atau mau masuk pintu, pasti tunggu2an sapa yang duluan. Hahaha... Dan kadang ampe jadi awkward karna gada yang mau duluan! Anyway, idup gw jadi sehat banget karna tiap hari jalan kaki +/- 9km. Bukan sengaja sih sebenernya, tp karna belom beli mobil aja kekekekeke...
- Oh about the school. I used to study at the BEST uni in Indo. But, well, once I'm here, jadi kayak banyaaaak hal2 yang bikin miris kalo inget2 IT* (sensor). To start with, disini mata kuliah itu kayak "candy shop" kalo istilah beberapa student. Kita sampe bingung mau ambil mata kuliah apa karna semuanya bagus dan menarik. Daannn, cepet full sama anak2 lainnya yang juga daftar (ada kapasitas maksimal). Dan karna skolah ini relative kecil juga, semua professor udah kayak temen kita aja. Discussion is very very encouraged, mau kapanpun mereka available most of the times. Kalo lagi pas ga ada di kantornya, email aja, janjian ketemu. Hari ini baru aja gangguin salah 1 prof buat install software di laptop gw yang akhirannya abis sejaman aja gitu wwkwkwk.. And he was very very nice!
Oh satu lagi juga, kampusnya bagus!! Jadi inget di IT* ga bole injek rumput, ga boleh d kampus ampe malem, dsb dsb. Disini semuaaaa murid pasti leyeh2 di rumput, olahraga, bahkan masang ranjang gantung di antara tiap pohon2. Mau nginep di sekolah juga basically boleh2 aja (gw sih ogah) hahaha...
dan masiii banyak hal lainnya yang mungkin lain waktu deh dishare disini :)
EH tapi itu yang bagus2 doank ya.
OK gw share yang agak downside:
Segalanya dikerjain sendiri. No maid, no one will help you doing daily works.
Segala yang lo bayar, blom include tax dan tips.
I needed to make new friendships. Well, sometimes it is fun, sometimes it is a pain in the ass. Depends.
Kadang ada aja orang-orang yang bikin lo MALEZ pake Z pake tanda seru kalo bisa.
SO many rules yang harus lo perhatiin kalo gamau getting in trouble.
Contoh: ati2 sama race/sexual jokes, etc. Basically karna sangat beda kultur juga sih, jadi harus banyak belajar juga.
I think that's all for now. Til next update/story!
Thursday, July 30, 2015
Good People
As we all know, we can't avoid the bad or mean people, or simply people who are jealous of us, talking bad about us, hurt us, etc.
It's just life. Suck it up and deal with it.
But aside of that, I've been telling myself over and over again about how some people are really simply like an angel to me.
Oh well maybe angel is a bit too much. LOL. But they are really just lovely people.
I was planning to make a farewell lunch with all my friends and colleagues at work and even I tried not to invite every single ones I know, it already reached 70++ people. LOL
So I was thinking, man, that's a lot :'( and I would need to save some money to for my life in the US.
But well I thought, it's OK lah.
I made the invitation and sent it out to everyone.
Later my boss came to my office and talked to me:
B: We are buying your lunch
Me: What do u mean?
B : You tell me. You sent out the invitation
Me: Oh yes. Yea.. I'm buying my lunch
B: No No..We are buying your lunch. The department will pay for it. Don't you pay anything.
*speechless*
Jadi orang ngapa baik bener ya? :')
And not only him. Some people are realllyyy helpful, some offered their help if I got to the US. Tell me to contact them, their friends, etc.. etc..
You know what, this, this kind of thing, is what helping me putting up with difficult people.
Brush it off, tell em to fck the hell off, and simply just appreciate those who are worth your time.
It's just life. Suck it up and deal with it.
But aside of that, I've been telling myself over and over again about how some people are really simply like an angel to me.
Oh well maybe angel is a bit too much. LOL. But they are really just lovely people.
I was planning to make a farewell lunch with all my friends and colleagues at work and even I tried not to invite every single ones I know, it already reached 70++ people. LOL
So I was thinking, man, that's a lot :'( and I would need to save some money to for my life in the US.
But well I thought, it's OK lah.
I made the invitation and sent it out to everyone.
Later my boss came to my office and talked to me:
B: We are buying your lunch
Me: What do u mean?
B : You tell me. You sent out the invitation
Me: Oh yes. Yea.. I'm buying my lunch
B: No No..We are buying your lunch. The department will pay for it. Don't you pay anything.
*speechless*
Jadi orang ngapa baik bener ya? :')
And not only him. Some people are realllyyy helpful, some offered their help if I got to the US. Tell me to contact them, their friends, etc.. etc..
You know what, this, this kind of thing, is what helping me putting up with difficult people.
Brush it off, tell em to fck the hell off, and simply just appreciate those who are worth your time.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Updates on June
While I'm writing this, this is the first day of Ramadhan, the first day where there's no food around the office like usual (biasanya tiap menit adaaa aja makanan ini dan itu). The first day we gonna suffer from even worse traffic (biasanya udah parah, well.. double that).
And it is less than 2 months for me to leave for Colorado.
It will feel less than that even, maybe, since after Ramadhan people will mudik for +- 2weeks (including me actually). So by the time I came back from vacation, I will take another weekend gateaway to do my farewell dive, and one week space to do farewell to friends (mainly the office friends), and then.. buhbye :)
By now I almost completed everything. Last night I just made sure that the last important document (which is my health and immunization record) has been received by the school. Quite a funny experience for me. So I emailed the school asking whether they have received my document and they didn't reply. It was suggested on the website that I call their number and they will be available most of the time.
Well remembering the time zone difference, I planned to call at 9pm or later, and I checked on telkomsel, how much does the international cost, etc.
So apparently telkomsel has a good deal. It is Rp 3500/10 minutes. I bought the first 10 min only to think later that I'm afraid 10min won't be enough. So I bought another 10min of call credit.
I rang the health officer:
O: CSM health and blablabla (I forgot), this is Denise speaking
me: Hi Denise, I'm an international student from Indonesia. I just sent my document on 15th of June and I want to make sure that it has been received
O: what is your student number?
me: it is xxxxxxxxxx
O: and your last name?
me: harryandi. H, A, R, R, Y, A, N, D, I
O: OK it's received. Thanks Sheila
me: Oh OK thank you
(tut tut tut....)
one minute only :|
what a waste, buying 20 minutes of international call credit! LOL
I guess I'm just very used to the complicated-ness of Indonesian people.
So anyway, right now I'm just thinking how bad I wanna get out of this city (remembering the traffic nightmare - Oh- I had enough of it!)
And some small group of people (I wrote about this before, yea that party friends of mine) just made me wanna move earlier than ever.
But of course there are more people that I will leave that I really care about as much as they care about me. Sigh. Hopefully I won't cry on my farewell day! Hahaha...
Aannnd, I conclude that I will bring more food than clothes! Afterall that would be my biggest struggle there :(
And it is less than 2 months for me to leave for Colorado.
It will feel less than that even, maybe, since after Ramadhan people will mudik for +- 2weeks (including me actually). So by the time I came back from vacation, I will take another weekend gateaway to do my farewell dive, and one week space to do farewell to friends (mainly the office friends), and then.. buhbye :)
By now I almost completed everything. Last night I just made sure that the last important document (which is my health and immunization record) has been received by the school. Quite a funny experience for me. So I emailed the school asking whether they have received my document and they didn't reply. It was suggested on the website that I call their number and they will be available most of the time.
Well remembering the time zone difference, I planned to call at 9pm or later, and I checked on telkomsel, how much does the international cost, etc.
So apparently telkomsel has a good deal. It is Rp 3500/10 minutes. I bought the first 10 min only to think later that I'm afraid 10min won't be enough. So I bought another 10min of call credit.
I rang the health officer:
O: CSM health and blablabla (I forgot), this is Denise speaking
me: Hi Denise, I'm an international student from Indonesia. I just sent my document on 15th of June and I want to make sure that it has been received
O: what is your student number?
me: it is xxxxxxxxxx
O: and your last name?
me: harryandi. H, A, R, R, Y, A, N, D, I
O: OK it's received. Thanks Sheila
me: Oh OK thank you
(tut tut tut....)
one minute only :|
what a waste, buying 20 minutes of international call credit! LOL
I guess I'm just very used to the complicated-ness of Indonesian people.
So anyway, right now I'm just thinking how bad I wanna get out of this city (remembering the traffic nightmare - Oh- I had enough of it!)
And some small group of people (I wrote about this before, yea that party friends of mine) just made me wanna move earlier than ever.
But of course there are more people that I will leave that I really care about as much as they care about me. Sigh. Hopefully I won't cry on my farewell day! Hahaha...
Aannnd, I conclude that I will bring more food than clothes! Afterall that would be my biggest struggle there :(
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Some conversation
I talked to this friend of mine, at work. He's been one of the most supportive friends so far. He always asked me bout my updates, am I doing well, etc. Sometimes he's more like a father at work. LOL
Anyways, I asked him last time
"why do you always look happy? It looks as if you don't have any problem in your life"
"of course I do. But I always think of the future. And what I do now will affect my future. That's what I'm focusing on. There's nothing I can change of my past, it's over. And many people are still stuck in their past"
"umm.. yea that's true"
"People do mistakes. But that's how they learn. You cannot do exactly the same things, and expect different outcomes."
Nice words, fella. Nice words.
Anyways, I asked him last time
"why do you always look happy? It looks as if you don't have any problem in your life"
"of course I do. But I always think of the future. And what I do now will affect my future. That's what I'm focusing on. There's nothing I can change of my past, it's over. And many people are still stuck in their past"
"umm.. yea that's true"
"People do mistakes. But that's how they learn. You cannot do exactly the same things, and expect different outcomes."
Nice words, fella. Nice words.
Sunday, June 7, 2015
Double Standard
Last night I was thinking bout this topic. No no, it's not about feminism. But it's more about our personal double standard.
Like, when someone did something not nice, you will despise them. But then one day you found yourself, did EXACTLY the same thing. How do you feel about that?
I feel I kinda make justification bout what I did. Yep. So you know now, when in life you kinda question people , "WHY? WHY? Don't they have heart? " you know what is the answer. Cos basically we are human. We do what we want to do. Of course, some of us have stronger boundaries or principal more than the others. But yea that's the main point.
So what you should do when someone do bad things to you? Just be calm and think "oh well that's human. And this is life" ?
A friend of mine just said something like, "well you can't guarantee someone wouldn't change. I think the answer will be, deal with the pain"
I said, "you are totally right".
We can only put so much effort, and be prepared for anything out of our plan.
It will be sucks, of course. But, well, isn't that life?
I will put one quote from the movie I watched recently,
"I'd been let down in my life so many times. Why should I have gotten my hopes up, right?"
Like, when someone did something not nice, you will despise them. But then one day you found yourself, did EXACTLY the same thing. How do you feel about that?
I feel I kinda make justification bout what I did. Yep. So you know now, when in life you kinda question people , "WHY? WHY? Don't they have heart? " you know what is the answer. Cos basically we are human. We do what we want to do. Of course, some of us have stronger boundaries or principal more than the others. But yea that's the main point.
So what you should do when someone do bad things to you? Just be calm and think "oh well that's human. And this is life" ?
A friend of mine just said something like, "well you can't guarantee someone wouldn't change. I think the answer will be, deal with the pain"
I said, "you are totally right".
We can only put so much effort, and be prepared for anything out of our plan.
It will be sucks, of course. But, well, isn't that life?
I will put one quote from the movie I watched recently,
"I'd been let down in my life so many times. Why should I have gotten my hopes up, right?"
Sunday, May 24, 2015
Do not give a sh*t
If you ever think bout it more, it's the hardest thing you could ever do, is to not giving a shit bout something.
And the more u think, "I don't care", the more actually u gonna care. LOL. How shitty is that?
Sometimes I wish (or everybody wish) I could control my mind. I could shut some particular things down and turn it on again another time when I feel like thinking bout it.
How nice could it be?
But again, nothing occurs in this world means nothing. Things happen for a reason, that's what people always say. If you always get what you want, then why bother working on something? Why bother put efforts on something?
You wouldn't feel disappointed, but you wouldn't know how it is to be satisfied, either.
And the more u think, "I don't care", the more actually u gonna care. LOL. How shitty is that?
Sometimes I wish (or everybody wish) I could control my mind. I could shut some particular things down and turn it on again another time when I feel like thinking bout it.
How nice could it be?
But again, nothing occurs in this world means nothing. Things happen for a reason, that's what people always say. If you always get what you want, then why bother working on something? Why bother put efforts on something?
You wouldn't feel disappointed, but you wouldn't know how it is to be satisfied, either.
Thursday, May 14, 2015
The Process (Part 2)
So for you that have been following my blog (jaelaaahh... sok beutt), I want to resume my last post about "the process" for me finally getting the school.
Well first of all, now I'm at the point of counting days. Too lazy to think about the packing, what to bring, what to manage before I leave (gahh!). I just came back from US embassy, got my Visa approved (tho it is still in the process). But I've just also booked my ticket :|
*Mudah2an beneran dapeett yee visanya bo*
FYI bukan e mau mamer tapi tiketnya mehoonngggg gilaaaaa x((((
It was $1500 for one way to Denver from Jakarta, so kalo diitung 13200x1500, hampir 20 jeti aja buat tiket :(
*nunggu THR dateng*
Well I have asked some friends and colleagues, and yes they told me that usually tickets are not covered. Jadi yasudahlahyaa... *ikhlasinn*
Anyway busway, the last time I was babbling about how I finally came to decide to apply for the school because one of my colleague really encouraged me to do.
So the next thing I did was sending out an email to the professor. I figure that the explanation about this will be somehow quite long, so I will do it more systematically:
1. How do I know which professor should I be contacting?
*) I always knew I wanted to go to CSM. I want to do Geophysics. Some of friends and colleagues I knew, graduated from there. And there is one name that I kept hearing, the name of the professor with the research program which I'm really interested in. Let say the Prof's name is Tom (well it IS his name). Tom is the director of one of the research programs in CSM. (note that in one department, there are several research programs, you can gain the information from the school homepage). So Prof Tom is the one who decide which applicants are eligible to get admitted to the program. He is also the one who connect with the sponsors (companies who give funding to the school). So in conclusion, he is THE guy.
2. What would you contact him for? What do you want to communicate to him about?
*) Basically, I introduce myself first. My name, which University I graduated from for my bachelor degree, my GPA, my major, how long I have been working, what is my job description, which company, what project I have been working on, what are my accomplishment. I also gave him information about my IELTS and GRE score (so at least he would know if I have a big chance to get admitted or not, if I apply). After that I informed to him that I have done a research on the website about the program, and find it really suitable to my background and my work experience. So giving several reasons why I'm really interested in that particular fields, I ask the chance to apply to the program. And also the opportunity to get funded for the program.
The response from the Prof would vary, of course. But in my case, the Prof was responding in a really positive way. He then told me that it would approximately be a 2-year program for masters and that the possibility to get funded is high. So THAT became my first motivation to really apply through the school system.
3. What did you do next?
*) I just applied to the school through the website and follow all the instructions. The most important part that we have to provide basically are:
- GRE score
- IELTS score
- CV/Resume
- Motivation letter
- Recommendation letters
For me the most struggling part was the recommendation. Because it has to come from the recommender directly (sent from their email address). So I had to remind them all the time, while also make sure I did it in a very nice way. Plus keep in mind that this part is extremely important. So make sure the person is someone who really knows your job or your educational experience. In my case, I asked 2 people from the company I'm working on (both are managers position) and 2 are from my previous university (the dean of faculty and the professor that advising my undergraduate thesis).
The process took approximately 2 months to get the answer whether I'm admitted or not. It was 2 months since I completed all my application and credentials.
The important part is, after I finished submitting all through the system, I emailed the Professor again to confirm that. Why? So when they have the committee meeting with the department's staffs, he would remember. Well it's better to do more than less. Plus there are maybe a lot of other applicants, so it would be good to have someone knowing which one are you among the others.
It was a quite hard time to wait for the decision tho, lol, because I was very anxious whether I got it or not. Whether I got all credentials submitted or not..
But anyways, as all of us know already, no pain no gain ;)
I'll get back to you on the next post...
Well first of all, now I'm at the point of counting days. Too lazy to think about the packing, what to bring, what to manage before I leave (gahh!). I just came back from US embassy, got my Visa approved (tho it is still in the process). But I've just also booked my ticket :|
*Mudah2an beneran dapeett yee visanya bo*
FYI bukan e mau mamer tapi tiketnya mehoonngggg gilaaaaa x((((
It was $1500 for one way to Denver from Jakarta, so kalo diitung 13200x1500, hampir 20 jeti aja buat tiket :(
*nunggu THR dateng*
Well I have asked some friends and colleagues, and yes they told me that usually tickets are not covered. Jadi yasudahlahyaa... *ikhlasinn*
Anyway busway, the last time I was babbling about how I finally came to decide to apply for the school because one of my colleague really encouraged me to do.
So the next thing I did was sending out an email to the professor. I figure that the explanation about this will be somehow quite long, so I will do it more systematically:
1. How do I know which professor should I be contacting?
*) I always knew I wanted to go to CSM. I want to do Geophysics. Some of friends and colleagues I knew, graduated from there. And there is one name that I kept hearing, the name of the professor with the research program which I'm really interested in. Let say the Prof's name is Tom (well it IS his name). Tom is the director of one of the research programs in CSM. (note that in one department, there are several research programs, you can gain the information from the school homepage). So Prof Tom is the one who decide which applicants are eligible to get admitted to the program. He is also the one who connect with the sponsors (companies who give funding to the school). So in conclusion, he is THE guy.
2. What would you contact him for? What do you want to communicate to him about?
*) Basically, I introduce myself first. My name, which University I graduated from for my bachelor degree, my GPA, my major, how long I have been working, what is my job description, which company, what project I have been working on, what are my accomplishment. I also gave him information about my IELTS and GRE score (so at least he would know if I have a big chance to get admitted or not, if I apply). After that I informed to him that I have done a research on the website about the program, and find it really suitable to my background and my work experience. So giving several reasons why I'm really interested in that particular fields, I ask the chance to apply to the program. And also the opportunity to get funded for the program.
The response from the Prof would vary, of course. But in my case, the Prof was responding in a really positive way. He then told me that it would approximately be a 2-year program for masters and that the possibility to get funded is high. So THAT became my first motivation to really apply through the school system.
3. What did you do next?
*) I just applied to the school through the website and follow all the instructions. The most important part that we have to provide basically are:
- GRE score
- IELTS score
- CV/Resume
- Motivation letter
- Recommendation letters
For me the most struggling part was the recommendation. Because it has to come from the recommender directly (sent from their email address). So I had to remind them all the time, while also make sure I did it in a very nice way. Plus keep in mind that this part is extremely important. So make sure the person is someone who really knows your job or your educational experience. In my case, I asked 2 people from the company I'm working on (both are managers position) and 2 are from my previous university (the dean of faculty and the professor that advising my undergraduate thesis).
The process took approximately 2 months to get the answer whether I'm admitted or not. It was 2 months since I completed all my application and credentials.
The important part is, after I finished submitting all through the system, I emailed the Professor again to confirm that. Why? So when they have the committee meeting with the department's staffs, he would remember. Well it's better to do more than less. Plus there are maybe a lot of other applicants, so it would be good to have someone knowing which one are you among the others.
It was a quite hard time to wait for the decision tho, lol, because I was very anxious whether I got it or not. Whether I got all credentials submitted or not..
But anyways, as all of us know already, no pain no gain ;)
I'll get back to you on the next post...
Monday, April 27, 2015
Quarter Life Crisis
Not sure if I've ever written bout this before..
Maybe I did.
But anyways, nowadays I have been more galau than usual.
(kapan sih lo nggak?)
It is the point when you start to think,
Have I done what I really have to do at this point?
Have I achieved things I should be achieving?
Am I successful enough compare to my peers? Friends?
Am I happy with all of these? Or do I secretly want different path of life?
Say I'm happy and satisfied at this moment, then, what's next?
Am I gonna be constantly satisfied, or will I always crave for something new? Something out of ordinary?
When am I gonna stop and just enjoy the moment?
Not looking at others' and comparing?
Life is a competition, whether you like it or not.
People will always standardized their life based on others'.
Other's success, life, achievement, so on, so on.
How much money do u make?
What do you have? House? Car? Apartment? Other kind of investments?
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Married? Have kids? Are your kids smart and competitive? What have they achieved?
Where did you get your degree? What degree? Where do you work? What is your position?
Have you traveled abroad? Which continent? Which country?
Are you attractive? What brand do you wear?
and the list is still on going....
Sometimes we just have to stop and enjoy, and be grateful.
That's why it is always good to look around those who are less fortunate than us, not to make us feel better (or maybe yes), but to remember to say thanks.
And afterall, it is just life.
Maybe I did.
But anyways, nowadays I have been more galau than usual.
(kapan sih lo nggak?)
It is the point when you start to think,
Have I done what I really have to do at this point?
Have I achieved things I should be achieving?
Am I successful enough compare to my peers? Friends?
Am I happy with all of these? Or do I secretly want different path of life?
Say I'm happy and satisfied at this moment, then, what's next?
Am I gonna be constantly satisfied, or will I always crave for something new? Something out of ordinary?
When am I gonna stop and just enjoy the moment?
Not looking at others' and comparing?
Life is a competition, whether you like it or not.
People will always standardized their life based on others'.
Other's success, life, achievement, so on, so on.
How much money do u make?
What do you have? House? Car? Apartment? Other kind of investments?
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Married? Have kids? Are your kids smart and competitive? What have they achieved?
Where did you get your degree? What degree? Where do you work? What is your position?
Have you traveled abroad? Which continent? Which country?
Are you attractive? What brand do you wear?
and the list is still on going....
Sometimes we just have to stop and enjoy, and be grateful.
That's why it is always good to look around those who are less fortunate than us, not to make us feel better (or maybe yes), but to remember to say thanks.
And afterall, it is just life.
Wednesday, April 22, 2015
Untitled
It has been quite a while since the last time I wrote.
But yea the last few weeks I had been very very very busy.
But now that the project has been finished, I'm just becoming as jobless as I could ever be.
Jobless and galau.
Why galau? Cos I haven't applied for my US visa yet, and this thing is now kinda bothering me a little.
Actually there is no big problem, it is just that I have to change my full name on the student record, which then affecting my student account, my I-20 form, hence affecting the timing for me to apply my visa.
Well it is still end of April, and I should be there at least mid August. Let me see.. it is still about more than 3 months, so I should be OK.
I'm just anxious,
nervous,
etc what you would like to call it.
I'm just afraid that somehow I would jeopardize the whole planning.
Anyway.
Despite those anxiety, I've been good.
Pretty excited for the whole thing. Have been eating a lot (I don't know why exactly), but most people would say, "enjoy that now, for you won't find smthing like that while you're there".
Well noted.
I have been training myself before I leave, by washing most of my clothes, cleaning out my apartment, even clean out my bathroom every week now.
I have also been thinking, probably I should learn how to cook some of my favourite dishes.
Hmm... we'll see.
Sometimes I wonder whether I'm a lazy person or the opposite.
Cos when it comes to something I really want, I would do everything. Even the hard way to achieve it.
But sometimes for something small that I need to take care of, I would wait for as long as it can take to finish that.
Oh well..
Talking bout smthing else lately, I have been avoiding some friends of mine. Let's call them "the party friends".
While I had enjoyed spending time with them, lately (or well.. maybe around 2 mths ago already) I realized that I don't want to be involved too deep into their life anymore.
I found it too... wrong.
Everything.
While some wise people would say, well. you can hang out with em without trying to be like them.
True.
But, the more you spend time with them, the more you will think (either you realize it or not) that their "behaviour" is somehow normal.
Which, believe me, it should not be called normal.
Ah.. anyways, after I tried to stay away from them for the last 2 months, I feel healthier.
Physically and mentally.
I wouldn't say I despise em of course. It's just, I don't want to know too deep, too detail, of every wrong things they do.
OK,
I thing that's all my "unek2" for today :)
Thanks for enjoying it.
*halah*
But yea the last few weeks I had been very very very busy.
But now that the project has been finished, I'm just becoming as jobless as I could ever be.
Jobless and galau.
Why galau? Cos I haven't applied for my US visa yet, and this thing is now kinda bothering me a little.
Actually there is no big problem, it is just that I have to change my full name on the student record, which then affecting my student account, my I-20 form, hence affecting the timing for me to apply my visa.
Well it is still end of April, and I should be there at least mid August. Let me see.. it is still about more than 3 months, so I should be OK.
I'm just anxious,
nervous,
etc what you would like to call it.
I'm just afraid that somehow I would jeopardize the whole planning.
Anyway.
Despite those anxiety, I've been good.
Pretty excited for the whole thing. Have been eating a lot (I don't know why exactly), but most people would say, "enjoy that now, for you won't find smthing like that while you're there".
Well noted.
I have been training myself before I leave, by washing most of my clothes, cleaning out my apartment, even clean out my bathroom every week now.
I have also been thinking, probably I should learn how to cook some of my favourite dishes.
Hmm... we'll see.
Sometimes I wonder whether I'm a lazy person or the opposite.
Cos when it comes to something I really want, I would do everything. Even the hard way to achieve it.
But sometimes for something small that I need to take care of, I would wait for as long as it can take to finish that.
Oh well..
Talking bout smthing else lately, I have been avoiding some friends of mine. Let's call them "the party friends".
While I had enjoyed spending time with them, lately (or well.. maybe around 2 mths ago already) I realized that I don't want to be involved too deep into their life anymore.
I found it too... wrong.
Everything.
While some wise people would say, well. you can hang out with em without trying to be like them.
True.
But, the more you spend time with them, the more you will think (either you realize it or not) that their "behaviour" is somehow normal.
Which, believe me, it should not be called normal.
Ah.. anyways, after I tried to stay away from them for the last 2 months, I feel healthier.
Physically and mentally.
I wouldn't say I despise em of course. It's just, I don't want to know too deep, too detail, of every wrong things they do.
OK,
I thing that's all my "unek2" for today :)
Thanks for enjoying it.
*halah*
Sunday, April 5, 2015
Nervous
I think I'm having the "cold feet" moment now.
Not until the point where I'm backing out of course (duh! backing out? This had been my dream for so long).
But just to imagine I'm going to experience a totally different environment, I'm sooooo frickiinnnggg nervous!
It just happened suddenly. I'm thinking about, how am I going to live there, thousand miles from my home country, 12-13 hrs difference, without my regular salary like in here.
I mean I will get the salary from the professor, but not as much as I make here.
I know the next thing I'm going to talk about, may sound "ugh", but this is the truth.
I'm anxious about, the availability of several things.
Like...
saloon?
I will miss the time when I can get manicure and pedicure for only +/-USD10.
Waxing for only USD8-10
Massage for about the same price.
I will miss nasi padang.
Arghh!
I know it now sounds like I'm an ungrateful b*atch.
Pardon my language
Not until the point where I'm backing out of course (duh! backing out? This had been my dream for so long).
But just to imagine I'm going to experience a totally different environment, I'm sooooo frickiinnnggg nervous!
It just happened suddenly. I'm thinking about, how am I going to live there, thousand miles from my home country, 12-13 hrs difference, without my regular salary like in here.
I mean I will get the salary from the professor, but not as much as I make here.
I know the next thing I'm going to talk about, may sound "ugh", but this is the truth.
I'm anxious about, the availability of several things.
Like...
saloon?
I will miss the time when I can get manicure and pedicure for only +/-USD10.
Waxing for only USD8-10
Massage for about the same price.
I will miss nasi padang.
Arghh!
I know it now sounds like I'm an ungrateful b*atch.
Pardon my language
Thursday, April 2, 2015
Growing Up
You know..
Growing up turns out to be not that easy. Though it's still something we have to get through eventually.
It is in its disguise. You don't realize you are already trapped in the process.
Suddenly you live by your self.
Make your own money.
Have your own place.
Pay your own bills.
Arrange all of the things by your self, you have your own responsibility, of yourself.
And when you realize, you think, "hey, is it what they call growing-up? It is not that bad.. not easy too , though.
And there is that phase when you are able to control yourself more. You learn by making mistakes.
Part of the things that grown-up or adults usually say, you aren't going to listen to people when they tell you not to do things.
You will still do it.
And later, you find out that what they have been telling you, is true.
And THAT is when you learn not to do that again in the future.
And about self-control. I think I could get promoted to the next level of it.
I can now influence my own thoughts.
I can say, "no, Sheila, that's not important".
I will still think about it though,
but myself will no longer loose control to then do something I will regret.
Well, maybe.
Or maybe just because I'm busy bout something else.
Growing up turns out to be not that easy. Though it's still something we have to get through eventually.
It is in its disguise. You don't realize you are already trapped in the process.
Suddenly you live by your self.
Make your own money.
Have your own place.
Pay your own bills.
Arrange all of the things by your self, you have your own responsibility, of yourself.
And when you realize, you think, "hey, is it what they call growing-up? It is not that bad.. not easy too , though.
And there is that phase when you are able to control yourself more. You learn by making mistakes.
Part of the things that grown-up or adults usually say, you aren't going to listen to people when they tell you not to do things.
You will still do it.
And later, you find out that what they have been telling you, is true.
And THAT is when you learn not to do that again in the future.
And about self-control. I think I could get promoted to the next level of it.
I can now influence my own thoughts.
I can say, "no, Sheila, that's not important".
I will still think about it though,
but myself will no longer loose control to then do something I will regret.
Well, maybe.
Or maybe just because I'm busy bout something else.
Saturday, March 28, 2015
The Process
So my preparation to (finally) go to school (again) is about 80% already.
I can't really say I really am going to go cause I still haven't got the visa on my hand. Well, it is still about 4 months from now anyway.
But by now I already finish up all credentials ( though every shipment of my document costs me around $60, sigh!), I told my bosses already (and surprisingly they're really supportive, so far. Well, they should, afterall I didn't ask any money from them to pay for my school).
I would really like to write about the process of me getting admitted and all of the stuffs happened, but again, cos it is only 80%, I'm afraid I will jinx it somehow :P
But I think I can just write briefly about it.
So I have always been thinking bout going back to school, but the time when I reaaallly did something was just last August 2014. That was when I finally took IELTS test. I thought, just take it anyway. Whether I'm gonna apply or not. And later in November 2014, I took the GRE.
Did I do any preparation classes for that? No. I did take IELTS course when I just graduated from ITB back in 2010 (basically cos I was jobless too for couple months), but that was it. I bought the GRE preparation book at the same year, never touched it until couple months before my GRE test.
I was almost taking the GRE preparation class, but it was around 5 million rupiah for 12 sessions. Each session will take around 3 hours. Either attend the class after work (7-10 p.m), or take it on weekend. (like, seriously?)
Knowing myself too well, I decided to just wing it. No preparation class, just do the exercises on the book.
Basically GRE is some kind of "ujian kesetaraan" for people applying to graduate school in the U.S (mainly). Usually schools in Europe won't ask for it. So the test consists of 3 main parts. Quantitative, Verbal, and Analytical Writing. I can say that I enjoy Math, so I focused on the quantitative exercises. Verbal exercise was basically hopeless. Even the American Native won't get a good score at this, so why bother trying. LOL.
In the end I got the result as what I expected. Quantitative was good, verbal sucks, analytical writing was so so. I told the professor of the school about my score and he was OK with that. I think he was more interested in my experience rather than that. But well, I'm not sure.
Anyway, back in December when I got the IELTS and GRE scores on my hand, I was still debating if I should apply or not. Cos of I decided to apply, I have to be really serious about it. Like commit certain amount of money to pay the application fee, shipment, etc. And ask for recommendation, etc. More over, I was thinking that I only got 4 yrs of experience, why not waiting until 5 years, when I can save more money..
So I was talking to this guy at the office. He is an expat, graduated from Texas A&M. When I told him bout my "plan" to go to school again, he was excited and really encouraged me to go. But later when I was in doubt, I told him, err...maybe I'll just wait another year. 5 years sounds better for me, I said.
One thing he told me that really changed my thought at that time
"If you wait another year, I think you won't be applying at all. U don't know what will happen in a year. Say you meet a guy, or something. "
I immediately emailed the professor that night. LOL.
Annnddd... the rest is as what I wrote on this blog earlier. Or maybe I will write more about it on the next posts.
But the main point I would like to highlight from this post is, there is no such thing as "impossible" or "too much work/efforts to do".
As long as u want it so bad, and u're willing to work on it, believe in it,
You will get it.
I can't really say I really am going to go cause I still haven't got the visa on my hand. Well, it is still about 4 months from now anyway.
But by now I already finish up all credentials ( though every shipment of my document costs me around $60, sigh!), I told my bosses already (and surprisingly they're really supportive, so far. Well, they should, afterall I didn't ask any money from them to pay for my school).
I would really like to write about the process of me getting admitted and all of the stuffs happened, but again, cos it is only 80%, I'm afraid I will jinx it somehow :P
But I think I can just write briefly about it.
So I have always been thinking bout going back to school, but the time when I reaaallly did something was just last August 2014. That was when I finally took IELTS test. I thought, just take it anyway. Whether I'm gonna apply or not. And later in November 2014, I took the GRE.
Did I do any preparation classes for that? No. I did take IELTS course when I just graduated from ITB back in 2010 (basically cos I was jobless too for couple months), but that was it. I bought the GRE preparation book at the same year, never touched it until couple months before my GRE test.
I was almost taking the GRE preparation class, but it was around 5 million rupiah for 12 sessions. Each session will take around 3 hours. Either attend the class after work (7-10 p.m), or take it on weekend. (like, seriously?)
Knowing myself too well, I decided to just wing it. No preparation class, just do the exercises on the book.
Basically GRE is some kind of "ujian kesetaraan" for people applying to graduate school in the U.S (mainly). Usually schools in Europe won't ask for it. So the test consists of 3 main parts. Quantitative, Verbal, and Analytical Writing. I can say that I enjoy Math, so I focused on the quantitative exercises. Verbal exercise was basically hopeless. Even the American Native won't get a good score at this, so why bother trying. LOL.
In the end I got the result as what I expected. Quantitative was good, verbal sucks, analytical writing was so so. I told the professor of the school about my score and he was OK with that. I think he was more interested in my experience rather than that. But well, I'm not sure.
Anyway, back in December when I got the IELTS and GRE scores on my hand, I was still debating if I should apply or not. Cos of I decided to apply, I have to be really serious about it. Like commit certain amount of money to pay the application fee, shipment, etc. And ask for recommendation, etc. More over, I was thinking that I only got 4 yrs of experience, why not waiting until 5 years, when I can save more money..
So I was talking to this guy at the office. He is an expat, graduated from Texas A&M. When I told him bout my "plan" to go to school again, he was excited and really encouraged me to go. But later when I was in doubt, I told him, err...maybe I'll just wait another year. 5 years sounds better for me, I said.
One thing he told me that really changed my thought at that time
"If you wait another year, I think you won't be applying at all. U don't know what will happen in a year. Say you meet a guy, or something. "
I immediately emailed the professor that night. LOL.
Annnddd... the rest is as what I wrote on this blog earlier. Or maybe I will write more about it on the next posts.
But the main point I would like to highlight from this post is, there is no such thing as "impossible" or "too much work/efforts to do".
As long as u want it so bad, and u're willing to work on it, believe in it,
You will get it.
Thursday, March 12, 2015
To do list (in 4 months)
Though I reaaallly wanted to get the school admission and I even wrote it here that I didn't think I could handle rejection/failure, but in fact I hadn't had enough time to think what I really have to do when I finally leave.
So now here I am, sitting and thinking, "man... there's a lot of things to do!"
1. Go to Bandung and ask for transcript. Official one sent directly from the campus to the next campus
2. Make sure my IELTS will be sent directly from IALF too
3. Make sure I have all things sent for I-20 process
4. Finish this damned project I'm currently working on which due on Mid April *sigh*
5. Thinking bout when and how would I tell my boss and HR bout this thing (yes, I haven't told em anything yet. LOL)
6. Make sure I go/travel with some of my best friends first. I wanna go for diving trips too. I just bought complete set of dive gear and I think I wouldn't be able to use it for the next couple years. Hmm
7. Go back to hometown to say goodbye to my grandmom, little brother, friends.
8. Buy lunch to some people that helped thru all this process (recommender, supportive friends)
9. Farewell party with my party gang
10. Farewell lunch with my team at the office
11. Make sure what I have to do with my apartment, car, works
12. Thinking bout the classes I need to take
13. Thinking bout the accomodation there
anndddd yea maybe that's all for now
So now here I am, sitting and thinking, "man... there's a lot of things to do!"
1. Go to Bandung and ask for transcript. Official one sent directly from the campus to the next campus
2. Make sure my IELTS will be sent directly from IALF too
3. Make sure I have all things sent for I-20 process
4. Finish this damned project I'm currently working on which due on Mid April *sigh*
5. Thinking bout when and how would I tell my boss and HR bout this thing (yes, I haven't told em anything yet. LOL)
6. Make sure I go/travel with some of my best friends first. I wanna go for diving trips too. I just bought complete set of dive gear and I think I wouldn't be able to use it for the next couple years. Hmm
7. Go back to hometown to say goodbye to my grandmom, little brother, friends.
8. Buy lunch to some people that helped thru all this process (recommender, supportive friends)
9. Farewell party with my party gang
10. Farewell lunch with my team at the office
11. Make sure what I have to do with my apartment, car, works
12. Thinking bout the classes I need to take
13. Thinking bout the accomodation there
anndddd yea maybe that's all for now
Monday, March 9, 2015
Can't thank You enough :)
 |
| "And when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it....." |
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Re-read
my past posts, I feel a bitter sweet things of my life so far.
Most of the times just about when I fell in love, and then when I was broken heart. LOL. Always.
My life is just a total roller coaster mode.
I actually hate the fact that I'm always annoyed by small things. I kept thinking bout some tiny things bothering me and sometimes even get stressed out bout this.
Lucky I have many good friends that I can always rely on. They are my trash box :p
Sometimes I even think, is it maybe because I never really face the real problem in life, so I get spoiled and bothered by small problems?
Not that I ask for bigger problems, tho. *amit2 jabang bayi :( *
I just really want to be a tougher person.
Not always complaining bout small things like, boys, jerks.
Anyways. I'm 26 going to 27.
Should be mature enough by now.
Should be.
But am I?
Most of the times just about when I fell in love, and then when I was broken heart. LOL. Always.
My life is just a total roller coaster mode.
I actually hate the fact that I'm always annoyed by small things. I kept thinking bout some tiny things bothering me and sometimes even get stressed out bout this.
Lucky I have many good friends that I can always rely on. They are my trash box :p
Sometimes I even think, is it maybe because I never really face the real problem in life, so I get spoiled and bothered by small problems?
Not that I ask for bigger problems, tho. *amit2 jabang bayi :( *
I just really want to be a tougher person.
Not always complaining bout small things like, boys, jerks.
Anyways. I'm 26 going to 27.
Should be mature enough by now.
Should be.
But am I?
Monday, February 23, 2015
I am not prepared
to a failure.
Nope.
Not.
Just not.
And here I am now waiting, whether I will be succeeded on this one thing or not. Cause if not, I just don't have the picture, of what my life would look like in the future.
OK probably that sounds a bit exaggerated.
But the thing is, I want this sooo so bad that all I can think of is, that's the only thing I would be chasing at this moment. If I failed? Well.. I would probably just continue my life like I'm doing now, which I don't really want to do anymore. At this moment at least.
I wanna escape. From several things. And continue a whole new life out there. That's all.
You know, I've been thinking lately, that probably (or surely?) some things that we cannot have (which we know already that it's bad for us), are not meant for us. It was meant to be someone else's, cause God saved us from it. Saved us from this bad bad things. While in the future we will look back and say, I know why I couldn't have that at that time.
So, yea.
Aside from that thought, here I'm just waiting and waiting....
Nope.
Not.
Just not.
And here I am now waiting, whether I will be succeeded on this one thing or not. Cause if not, I just don't have the picture, of what my life would look like in the future.
OK probably that sounds a bit exaggerated.
But the thing is, I want this sooo so bad that all I can think of is, that's the only thing I would be chasing at this moment. If I failed? Well.. I would probably just continue my life like I'm doing now, which I don't really want to do anymore. At this moment at least.
I wanna escape. From several things. And continue a whole new life out there. That's all.
You know, I've been thinking lately, that probably (or surely?) some things that we cannot have (which we know already that it's bad for us), are not meant for us. It was meant to be someone else's, cause God saved us from it. Saved us from this bad bad things. While in the future we will look back and say, I know why I couldn't have that at that time.
So, yea.
Aside from that thought, here I'm just waiting and waiting....
the Job
I know sometimes I would say things like, "oh why it's Monday already?" "why the holiday is over?" "I want holidaaaayyy"
etc
But actually, this job is what keeps me alive. Like, literally. I could buy what I want to buy or need to buy, because of this.
I could distract myself from my personal problem, because of this.
I could do something, mean something, all because of this job.
I honestly don't know what would I do or end up doing if I didn't have this job.
Recently many people got laid off from their jobs because of the oil and gas crisis. Me and other friends might feel terrible bout it, feel sorry for them, etc. But we actually didn't really know how they feel exactly. If it were me, oh God.. I just couldn't imagine it.
So, thanks God for still letting me do my job, have this job, go to work everyday. not lacking of anything. Could save some for my life, I know sometimes I just forgot how to be grateful in a proper way. All I usually think of is how miserable some other part of my life. But seriously, what could I ask for more?
:)
etc
But actually, this job is what keeps me alive. Like, literally. I could buy what I want to buy or need to buy, because of this.
I could distract myself from my personal problem, because of this.
I could do something, mean something, all because of this job.
I honestly don't know what would I do or end up doing if I didn't have this job.
Recently many people got laid off from their jobs because of the oil and gas crisis. Me and other friends might feel terrible bout it, feel sorry for them, etc. But we actually didn't really know how they feel exactly. If it were me, oh God.. I just couldn't imagine it.
So, thanks God for still letting me do my job, have this job, go to work everyday. not lacking of anything. Could save some for my life, I know sometimes I just forgot how to be grateful in a proper way. All I usually think of is how miserable some other part of my life. But seriously, what could I ask for more?
:)
Sunday, February 1, 2015
I just found
a blog that I really like..
This is the type of writing that I enjoy reading, apparently..
www.markmanson.net
This is the type of writing that I enjoy reading, apparently..
www.markmanson.net
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Homesick
I haven't even been away yet I already feel that I'm going to be homesick.
LOL
Nah but truly, now I kinda feel mellow somehow.
I like this environment..
I enjoy being with this people
I love my routine
and that even makes me more sad
Cause I don't want to grow old still doing the same stuffs over and over again.
I just don't.
Then what do you really want, seriously?
LOL
Nah but truly, now I kinda feel mellow somehow.
I like this environment..
I enjoy being with this people
I love my routine
and that even makes me more sad
Cause I don't want to grow old still doing the same stuffs over and over again.
I just don't.
Then what do you really want, seriously?
Let's be patient for a month
I have always struggled with being patient. Always.
And now I have to wait for a whole month (thank God, February has the least days of all other months)
While finger crossed and mouth munching
And now I have to wait for a whole month (thank God, February has the least days of all other months)
While finger crossed and mouth munching
Thursday, January 22, 2015
The Risk
Everything happens in your life, has a risk. Or risks.
And we do know it, tho we tend to be ignorant about it.
Cause somehow in your mind you keep thinking , "that's not gonna happen to me".
You might also think, "oh well that is possible. Just not now. I guess today is my lucky day, just like the other days before"
Do you ever think, that, people who driving while their drunk, or high on something, don't know the risk that fatal accident might happen? That they might kill theirself or even others?
Or how bout woman who get pregnant accidentally because she had unprotected sex? Or guy who get someone pregnant because he was being ignorant enough and had unprotected sex?
And when that happens we will comment something like "how stupid those guys can be"
But you know what? That is human. They (or us) can be soooo much stupid at times that we ourselves wouldn't understand why we did some things.
Most of us would also think that the thing would never happen to us, cause we're (let's say), smarter than those jackasses.
No.
That's not particularly true. In fact, we're fragile. Too fragile. It can happen to anyone anytime anywhere.
You just have to have people around you who keeping you sane from time to time
And we do know it, tho we tend to be ignorant about it.
Cause somehow in your mind you keep thinking , "that's not gonna happen to me".
You might also think, "oh well that is possible. Just not now. I guess today is my lucky day, just like the other days before"
Do you ever think, that, people who driving while their drunk, or high on something, don't know the risk that fatal accident might happen? That they might kill theirself or even others?
Or how bout woman who get pregnant accidentally because she had unprotected sex? Or guy who get someone pregnant because he was being ignorant enough and had unprotected sex?
And when that happens we will comment something like "how stupid those guys can be"
But you know what? That is human. They (or us) can be soooo much stupid at times that we ourselves wouldn't understand why we did some things.
Most of us would also think that the thing would never happen to us, cause we're (let's say), smarter than those jackasses.
No.
That's not particularly true. In fact, we're fragile. Too fragile. It can happen to anyone anytime anywhere.
You just have to have people around you who keeping you sane from time to time
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Possibilities
Life is a bunch of possibilities that will lead you to another shape of the future. You wouldn't know which will eventually happen to your life. You have options, preferences, and you have Him who will decide which one is best for you.
I'm in the middle of those significant possibilities, soon.
I'm not sure at all of what my life is going to be in, umm, 4-5 months from now. Options are between: going to Balikpapan, stay here in Jakarta, or go to school again.
If you ask me, my preference would be the third option, no doubt bout that. But what if I didn't get admitted to the school?
To be honest, I don't want to go to Balikpapan. And my bosses here want to make me stay in Jakarta.
Then why are you going there?
I know, right. Silly me. LOL. I wanted to go there previously cos I thought I would learn something else, totally different from what I've been doing here. Get more experience, more exposure. So that's what happened. I got caught up in the middle of options which I didn't know for sure either, which one is the best for me. This person told me to go to here, this person told me to stay.
The thought of leaving Jakarta is quite painful. So many people here whom I care about. So many activities that I know I'd miss when I moved out from here.
But then, you can't always be in your comfort zone.
You know what is the real problem here? My idealism.
Anyways,
hopefully whatever happens, it will be what's best for me. The industry is not going any better soon either. Just be thankful I still have the job at the moment :)
Hallelujah!
I'm in the middle of those significant possibilities, soon.
I'm not sure at all of what my life is going to be in, umm, 4-5 months from now. Options are between: going to Balikpapan, stay here in Jakarta, or go to school again.
If you ask me, my preference would be the third option, no doubt bout that. But what if I didn't get admitted to the school?
To be honest, I don't want to go to Balikpapan. And my bosses here want to make me stay in Jakarta.
Then why are you going there?
I know, right. Silly me. LOL. I wanted to go there previously cos I thought I would learn something else, totally different from what I've been doing here. Get more experience, more exposure. So that's what happened. I got caught up in the middle of options which I didn't know for sure either, which one is the best for me. This person told me to go to here, this person told me to stay.
The thought of leaving Jakarta is quite painful. So many people here whom I care about. So many activities that I know I'd miss when I moved out from here.
But then, you can't always be in your comfort zone.
You know what is the real problem here? My idealism.
Anyways,
hopefully whatever happens, it will be what's best for me. The industry is not going any better soon either. Just be thankful I still have the job at the moment :)
Hallelujah!
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