Adventures

I was just looking at a post my sister-in-law posted on FB now. She and my brother with their baby on the way (she is pregnant now :) )
then I started to think, how different our lives are.

I'm not saying one is better than another, and to be noted, nothing I'm jealous of, neither him to me. Plus he is a guy, if he was a she, then I'd probably have some jealousy every now and then. LOL.

I'm just observing how our life was always taking quite a different path since before. He was always the "secured" type of person. Going to university close to our hometown. Always be in a serious relationship, I don't think he liked to play around. Or maybe I don't know. Haha.. Well now he is happily married with a woman from a really nice family. Religious, well lived, loving family, etc. A perfect picture to be family of someone you want to introduce to your own family, I'd say.

While me, I was always wandering around. Always try to escape. I chose Bandung to go after graduated from high school. I want to experience something new. I want to travel the world (well I think everybody kinda want this, too. I was just lucky enough to "sometimes" got the chances). I want to know more and more people. I experienced a lot of broken hearts, but I guess that's OK. Not really OK, but hey, I'm survived! :)
And now I'm here, 15.000 KMs from home, 14 hours difference in timezone. Haven't really found someone "adequate" to introduce to my family, I guess. LOL. Parents keep on asking bout "this guy" but I don't think I'll have the guts to.

I think I live the life following the motto "now or never", "you only live once", "you'll regret more of something you didn't do than something you did". And I'm not sure if this is what I have always wanted to, hence unconsciously I'm leading my way into this path, or it is just always what God has planned for me. Maybe a little bit of both.

What if somehow my life was a different story? Something a little bit more like my brother's. Would I be happy? Would I crave for my current type of life? Probably. I guess my mind is just sometimes "crazying" around thinking bout something I might ended up doing/being.

I hope

God is not mad at me as I frequently whine about something.
And the more I think about it sometimes, the more I realized that I have become ungrateful human being.

I remember back in late 2010 I was somehow quite depressed looking for job. I was a little bit cocky before I graduated because a lot of companies interview me, and I was interning in my current company. So I was like, "omg.. which one to choose? so confused" lol
Until I got the point when those companies stopped chasing me. I was like, OMG am I gonna get a job at all? If I got hired, I swear I would work my ass off, etc..etc
And then what? I got back to be lazyyy most times. Hahaha..

Later after that I was soooo hoping I'll go to school to pursue master degree abroad, especially in the U.S and especially in this school I'm attending now. So basically, if u asked me, what was my biggest dream? Well it is now. And I got it eventually. I was so damn grateful. And now? I'm whining cos I'm sick of studying! LOL. Sometimes I think wouldn't it be nice just to chilling by the beach, drinking with your friends, just like what I did before I got here. Can you believe how ungrateful I am now? Hahahaha...

Oh well, I guess I'll just need to constantly remind myself. Sheila, this was your dream. It came true, but it is not over yet. Keep on working!

Amen!