My poor life

The first 2 years I was here, I was always wondering why I can't gain weight. I felt like I ate enough. Now? I can't even lose 2 kgs! LOL.
Now I know why. Basically last 2 years I was in a very poor life. Not kidding.
1. I could barely eat out. I will really really think 1000 times before deciding to eat out with my friends. Even one time I got so hurt when my friend was asking why did I care if I spent money on eating out. I was like, "helloo?? I don't have money, chicca. Which part did you not get from that?" I had it in my mind, of course.
2. I could barely spend money on filling my gas. Everytime I wanna drive somewhere far, I thought about how my gas will run out fast and I wouldn't be able to buy it again.
3. I could barely shop on anything. Literally. One time I really really wanted to buy a sweater that costs $15. I couldn't buy it. Sad, huh?
4. I bought the cheapest skin product. And my face skin was horrible. I feel bad about it, now I really spoil my face!!!
5. I couldn't afford a parking permit at school, so I had to park somewhere far away from the building and had to move my car every 2 hours (the max hours). Maybe that's why I was skinny as well!

Now that I can afford most things, I just cannot lose weight at all. Hahahahahaha... Crazy! Always take and give, huh? You gain some and lose some. But I'm just glad I am not struggling anymore. It's always frustrating, especially when you cannot eat what you want because you don't have money. That's the saddest part, for me. I will never forget it!

Poligami

Akhir2 ini sering baca artikel tentang ibu2 yang menentang poligami. It is not really related to me (not in my religion) so I can't really comment on the basis of it, obviously.
But I'm very intrigued to make a comment as a common human being. Now, being committed to one person or more is something else. I know people that are like that. Or actually, there are a lot of people like that in the world. Heck my bf is very into open relationship (loving more than one person).

The issue with polygamy, though, in my opinion, is... why the heck you (man) can be with more than one person, while your wife/partner can only be with you? How in the world does that sound fair at all?

Now in all fairness, maybe, maybe... again this is just my personal opinion which may be right or wrong, maybe it is slightly fine if this guy is the source of everything. Like financially, etc, etc. So, there is no options, really. Unless the wife wants to start taking over and find the financial source as well, or maybe juts opt for divorce or whatever. But, if the wife, can also work by herself and feed the family just as much as the husband, wouldn't it be fair if both can be with anybody else?

My point is, don't be a jackass. If you are OK with however you are treating others, then theoretically you should accept being treated the same way!

Reminiscing

Today suddenly I was reminiscing the feelings before I came here in the U.S.  I was never living somewhere totally stranger to me. Well, maybe the very first time was when I moved to Bandung from Malang. But even that, I still had some people I knew already (some friends from Malang also moved to Bandung, although I was not that close to them). Anyways.... That was different. Still pretty challenging, but nothing like me moving to the U.S.

Imagine you moved to a country very far from your home. Nobody there you knew before. You didn't know the law, regulations, cultures, etc etc. And then nobody are responsible for you. Meaning, all the income/spending totally on you. Nope, my parents did not help me financially at all. Which makes sense. I already worked before that anyway. Butttt... I quit working, no more income like that. Yes I had scholarship, but that scholarship was just enough. Really really tight spending on anything. I remember I couldn't really eat out without thinking how much money left I had in my bank account. I didn't have savings. That money I used to have, there would be no way I could ever spend on anything extra. Well, sometimes I still traveled to Austin to my BF, but we can't really spend money on anything either, there.

And yett, now, I belong here. I want to be here. I want to stay here like a tree. Grow all my roots into the ground so nobody can ask me to leave.

I'm so proud of myself to get this far. I don't always like me, but I realized this is not easy. It has never been easy. And I made it through. Baby steps, to the success. Thanks God. I know You are behind all of these.

State of Mind, State of Life

Couple of days ago I finally received the offer letter from the company that is looking forward to hire me. So frickin happy, and then... faced by the fact that I'm still working on my thesis draft. FML. LOL.

Got edits from one of my professor, and actually the things he edited or commented are the things I knew I kinda messed up or intentionally skipped without adding clear details. Which actually usually works for some people (my other professor never paid attention to such details like equations and some shit). But this one does. Gosh.......

Can I just graduate pweaaase??? Pretty pweaaasee...? I just want to work, get paid decently (way more decent than I've ever been) and have funnn?

I realized I'm a spoilt mothafucka.